Sunday, June 29, 2008

Push through the crowd

UPDATE: 6/30/08 noon: Alyssa has always had a special connection with my cousin Mark. He called me today and asked for her #. She answered his call and he told her that he just wanted to make sure she was okay and asked if she needed anything. She asked him to come pick her up! PRAISE GOD!!! He has her and they are out to lunch right now. He told her she could stay with his family and has a room for her. I just pray she doesn't go back where she was. Thank You Jesus!! Who knew but God she'd reach out to my cousin. God did.
I love You Lord. I just love You!
Alyssa, if you are reading this today click here because I have something just for you sweetheart.
Until she is home I will start out each post with that. Sorry, but I have to.
Today after church we went to my parents to celebrate my newly adopted little brother Joe's 5th birthday. After lunch I pulled up my blog on my Dad's palm pilot and read your comments of encouragement to everyone. We all felt so overwhelmed knowing my girl is being lifted up all over the USA, in Canada and even Australia??? Are you kidding me? Oh my goodness, only God will know just how grateful my heart is for all of you. Thank you for the prayers, verses, links to songs and blogs, the e-mails, the text messages and the phone calls. You are all such amazing women of God!!
Please continue to pray as an intervention was done on Friday by my sister and Dad with the promise from Alyssa to come home. She had a slightly blackened eye and scratched up chin and my sister said did not seem herself. She did not ask of Amiyah, but teared up when my sister mentioned her. After that meeting she cut off complete contact with family. Please just continue to pray. We know who she is with (Amiyah's dad) and it is just not good. Her safety is a concern as well as her mindset. Also another pregnancy is a fear we have been giving to God.
There is so much pain going on not only in my life, but I can think of a few people around me. A woman in my church has not heard from her teenage daughter in a week who ran away with her boyfriend who just got out of jail. Heartache. A friend of ours was golfing yesterday when he got a call from the police. His 23 yr old cousin had taken his life during the night and our friend was the last person he had tried calling shortly after midnight. His phone was off so he never got the call. Guilt. A young mom of 3 came up to me today after service and as we hugged I asked how she is feeling since I knew she is almost 2 months pregnant. I didn't know she had miscarried. Sorrow.
I was thinking of the disciples tonight. Why did they keep following Jesus around? What did He have to offer them that kept them on the chase? WHAT about Him caused their hearts to overflow and keep them returning for more of Him?
Why was He enough for them?
He gave
But above all else
He gave
As I walk on this path I have never walked on before, I find myself wanting and needing more of Jesus. I find myself looking for how my Savior wants me to respond. I find myself wanting to have the faith of the woman talked of in the Gospels. The woman with no name. The woman that had a problem that was unfixable to all but Jesus. The woman that heard about Jesus and believed in Him so much that with much determination pushed her way through a pressing crowd just to be in His presence.
Mark 4:24-29
A large crowd followed and pressed around him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.
That day that woman was also on a path she had never been on before. She was on a path of faith. She never went to those doctor appointments over those twelve years with the belief that if she just touched the doctors clothes she'd be freed from her life of misery. Nobody was able to help her until now.
So what was so different about Jesus? What had she heard about Him that made her think this guy is the One before she ever met Him?
How did she know that she was not going to leave His presence the same way she entered into it?
Faith in a God that is so much bigger than the circumstance that were staring her down. Faith that He was the real thing. Faith that her belief alone was going to change her life.
I want that kind of faith.
I want to know that He is my Healer and my Provider before there's any healing or provision done. Faith to know that He is ALL I need.
Mark 4:30, 32-34
At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?"
Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet, and trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."
Can you even begin to imagine how that felt when He so sweetly called her Daughter???? A term of endearment from the lips of the Savior in front everyone. He acknowledged her wounded heart. He embraced it. He healed it. He sent her home with her eyes focused on Him and a testimony that would bring others into the Kingdom.
That's the faith I want.
Even though my circumstances are huge right now I will choose to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. As I beg Him to interrupt my daughter's own plans for her life, I am pushing through a crowd of worry, fear, anger and doubt with much determination to just be in His presence.
I believe in Him.
What a day that must have been for that woman. And what a day it will be for my daughter.
Lord Jesus, nothing that happens to us has happened without getting through You first. May I glorify your name as I intercede on behalf of my sweet Alyssa. May you never tire of hearing the pleas for her life come from my lips. Revive the faith she had in you when she was 9 years old and asked you to invade her life. Take the stolen grounds of heart back O Lord. May she get to the point of desperation that she knows if she just reaches for You, she will be delivered from the mess she is in. Lord I pray that her desire to have You in her life will return. I pray that she will crave the smell of her baby girl.
May she soon hear the word "Daughter" spoken over her by her Redeemer.
May You be enough for us.
I love you Jesus. Please watch over our girl.

Please join me Tuesday, July 1st for the study of Lysa TerKeurst's book, "What Happens When Women Walk in Faith?" Have the intro/ch. 1 & ch. 1's study ready to discuss. It doesn't matter if you haven't read Lysa's other book, just join in! I loved what my new friend Lynn said in a comment on a post about my daughter: "do not think that it is an accident that you are "fixin" to start a Bible study on Women walking by Faith this coming week. The enemy knows how to distract us."

Amen! Our God has the sweetest timing!

Keep focused ladies. Jesus is so worth this.


Pamela (MrsJoeB) said...

It seems like satan is having a "hay day" with us as we journey back from She Speaks but we will continue to walk in faith, we will continue to fall on our knees to our Lord with each of his attacks, and we will trust God because (I must say it again) God is big enough and He will handle this for us.
I too thought about this new Bible study and having read the first few chapters, we must put on the armour of God friend. I am so excited about what He is going to do in and through this Bible study. We can support and encourage each other despite satan.
You are such an encouragement to us all and we will continue to pray without ceasing!! You know my number if you are feeling down or discouraged. I am here for you!!!

In His Graces~Pamela

HisPrincess said...

My heart is breaking for you Lelia. I will continue to pray for Alyssa's safe arrival home soon.

Lord, please open Alyssa's eyes and heart to your love. Let her see how much you love her, let her feel the safety and security of being held in your hand. Watch over her Lord, influence her decisions and let her know that she is loved, longed for and missed. Help Lelia to let you work through her, guide her actions and her words and comfort her, help her to hold fast to you.
These precious people I commit to you Lord.

You are such a strong, brave and compassionate woman Lelia. He will not foresake you or leave you. Hold fast to hope.

Blessings and hugs from the other side of the world.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lelia, No doubt this time is incredibly hard for you and your family, yet you bring glory to God through all that you write, and just from where I am sitting half way around the world, His words through you are making such an impact. Bless your heart...

Wendy said...

Dear Lelia,

Oh my dear sister. I haven't been in the blog world since last Thursday...I had no idea what your family is facing until this morning. How I will lift you all up in prayer today and every moment until your family back together.

As I sat here to type I opened the Bible asking the Lord to give me something to give you. Here is what I found...

"But I will hope continually, And will praise You yet more and more...I will go in the strength of the Lord God." Psalm 71:14, 16

You are in our prayers and hearts. Please, please let me know if there is anything else we can do.

Sweet blessings!

Yolanda said...

I continue to pray and place you in my journal knowing that God is good and He is mighty and He is in control.

Lord, help us when we have un-belief, when doubts begin to creep in, because WE KNOW YOU ARE FOR US not against us. Amen.

I've been thinking about this woman with the issue of blood for a full week now. There is more to this story that God is placing on my heart.

Love ya,

PS: Alyssa if you are reading this....GOD is bigger than anything you are walking/working through at the moment. Come to the Cross, Friend, come. You are, ARE, loved!

Paula (SweetPea) said...

I did not email you the last two days, not because I didn't care or was not concerned or praying for you. Rather, I was giving you the time with our Father as you needed. However, Saturday, I was on the road and as I shared with another friend in pain (physical) I saw a church sign that said:
"There are no accidents for Christians."

That is much what you said in that nothing comes to us without passing through God's Hands first. That is a hard thing for me to swallow at times as it's hard for me in my finite mind to understand the whys of things that happen. I know that is on your heart also yet, you too know that you and Alyssa ar in HIS Hands and He does havea purpose in this.

As you said, His timing is the sweetest. I've always said His timing is truly impeccable. It could not be more perfect.

I love the story of the bleeding lady. Maybe we should all join forces and give that dear lady a name. Maybe we can call her "Faith" because that indeed is what she had an abundance of. Over the last year, I have quoted that story MANY times because she was healed by her faith. I believe God heals at times based on our faith alone. Sometimes He heals for other reasons. I know that is controversial as it would appear that a person with less faith wouldn't get healing. I can't explain God's rhyme or reasoning but I do believe with all my heart that some healings and answers come by faith alone. (Just as the two blind men.)

There is NO need for you to apologize for adding that header for Alyssa. It's your blog and your daughter and believe me we ALL want to see her come on so you keep that header until she does and she WILL, my friend, she will!

I can't escape the feeling that God is SO in the midst of this. He is going to do great things in your heart and Alyssa's. As one of your previous readers commented, this too is a going to be a part of that fabulous book on your life that you write.

It's got to be "killing" you as a mother but keep your eyes focused on Jesus and on His plans to make good of this not just for you and Gene but for that precious Alyssa. He's going to turn this terrible time in the pit for her to something grand. (The avoidance of her mentioning Amiyah, to me, is not's part of the course in denial. The tears upon her hearing Amiyah name' that is good and shows God working.)

May I also say that every time I come to your blog I am so envious. I literally want to push through the monitor and just kiss all over those most adorable cheeks of Amiyah's. She is the most gorgeous thing! Of course, she does have a beautiful mother and gramma...oh, I can't remember what your "name" is. G-woman is it? No, that's not it. Grand woman...that's it. Okay, maybe not but you are a grand woman and grand mom, and grand gramma.
Love you,

Kelley said...

My eyes are filled with tears and my heart is breaking with the love and pain that you are feeling. I am so sorry this is happening Lelia, I know how much you love Alyssa and Amiyah. What an incredible blessing you are to both of them!! Someday Alyssa will see that, I just hope it is soon. Cling to Romans 8:28 and know that even this God can & will use for good. You are such a Godly woman with a sweet heart, Alyssa will figure that out!!! Meanwhile, cling to the Lord and His promises while you are ministering to others through your pain!

I love you Lelia, Hang in there....

tiggerdaisy said...


The sermon at church yesterday held something in it for you. Even though you already know this, I wanted to pass it along as encouragement. If you are doing something for God, or if you are on your way to do something for God, the devil does NOT like it. He will strive to do whatever is necessary to keep you off the path. Know this. Your life is focused on God; therefore, the devil is trying to distract you. Alyssa could be on the path to being totally focused on God; therefore, the devil does not like it and it trying to sway her.

I love that you are laying this at His feet, Lelia. Keep walking in the faith and believing, my friend.

Prayers and Blessings,

Sita said...

At the final night of the Beth Moore study last night, we were reminded in a testimony that we cannot circumvent (go around) the crisis God allows, because it is a 'thru' journey as Beth puts it. And right now, you are plowing through that pain. God knew He could entrust you with this at this time. He has been preparing you. It did not surprise Him, he knew it was coming. And because He knew, you can rest and seek, and surrender, and release...a daily task...a daily grace...
"O Lord, for You to allow something like this to happen, You must have something marvellously glorious in store for this the meantime, please give them that daily grace in whatever form it is needed today...Protect Alyssa Sue and deliver her from evil...Clear her clouded mind and let her think accurately with sound judgement from the Holy Spirit. In the Name of Jesus, I pray, Amen."

Amy said...

Lelia, Lynn's comment about the enemy trying to distract us when God is at work in our lives is so true.

I should have known that about my own life. When God sent me on my trip, I should have known that the enemy would be on my tail the whole time, but I didn't think about it, and he definitely worked over time while I was away trying to rob me of my blessings. But the flip side of that is, that God is up to something amazing in our lives, and the enemy is NERVOUS!

I know that it does not make the situation easier for your heart to deal with, but it is a comfort to know, God is up to something! Something BIG! Or the enemy would not be working so hard, amen?

After my marriage fell apart, and I was struggling to put it back together....I told God that I wanted a promise from Him. I told Him that I had been faithful; I had believed Him for miraculous things, and I told Him I did not ever want to go through anything like that again. I pleaded with Him to give me His Word that my marriage would be okay.....and that we would not be going BACKWARDS again. After praying and pleading with God, this is what He promised me.

Joel 2:25
"I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten-- the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm-- my great army that I sent among you."

I cried as I read His Words....and He absolutely meant them...He has done miracles in my life. He is still repaying me for the years of "locusts" in my life.

And this promise is for you too.
And for your daughter.
Write these words down and claim them.
God will keep His promise to you too.

In Christ,

Anonymous said...

Your an incredible mother & grand-hot-mother! Keep trusting in God's plan for Alyssa. He's got her in His loving palms. What better place for all of us to be?! Love to you from our home. I'm praying for you all.
Heather T

Tracy said...

Continuing to uphold you and Alyssa (and your family) in my prayers...keep clinging to the Lord for strength!


Kelly said...

Leila...I found your blog through Kelley's..I just want you to know you write beautifully and from the heart...I am praying for you and for Alyssa..praying that she will come home and that God will protect her and that Satan's plans will be thwarted. Prayer is powerful, and there are a lot of people praying right now for her safe return home and to Jesus...I will continue to pray..

tiggerdaisy said...

Glory Hallelujah! May God do a good work in her life through Mark! Lord, you ROCK! :)

Prayers and Blessings,

Runner Mom said...

Praise Him for your precious cousin, Mark! I just pray that all is going well at this very moment. Keep the faith! Oh, thank you for allowing God to work in you! Your faith is so strong.

Looking forward to tomorrow's study.

Will continue to lift up those prayers :)
Love ya,

Luanne said...

Your pain has touched so many hearts and we are all praying for a sweet resolve to all the suffering.

Your blog is so aptly titled as you have been pouring out your gut wrenching feelings in such a powerful way.

I haven't had a chance to read all the comments so I hope I am not repeating something already said, but the scripture that keeps running thru my head comes from Paul's letter to Philemon regarding Onesimus. In verse 15 Paul says:

"Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back for good-no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother."

I'm praying that Alyssa will return to you soon no longer just your child but a stonger more joyful sister in Christ.

May God provide a hedge of protection around both of you as you begin leading us toward a stronger walk of faith.


Sandra said...

Hi Lelia,

I read your post this afternoon and all I can say is Praise God!!!

Lisa said...


You were on my heart last night, especially, and I prayed for you. I hadn't been to your blog since last week, so I didn't know of what was going on. Now that I do, I will pray even more!

I hear Him drawing you close with this situation, Lelia. You write from a heart that is in need of the kind of comfort only He can provide. I hear you, and I offer my prayers. Please feel free to email me if you need to "talk" more. I agree with you that now is the time to focus on God and hearing Him speak to your heart by communing only with Him.

I read the update and rejoice with you at this new turn of events. Praise God! Even though you don't know exactly what is up ahead, you won't be abandoned by your Creator.

He sees you...He knows are His beloved.

Much love!
Lisa :)

Julie said...

I am not one to tell people they need to read what I have written. It just doesn't fit me. So, that's not the intent here. Saturday I was dealing with my own Isaac that God was asking me to surrender to Him. He had me in the story of Abraham and Isaac and the altar of sacrifice. It was burning in me so I wrote about it on my blog. I know you can imagine the heaviness of the footsteps that Abraham felt as he walked that mountain. All he knew was that God would provide...he just didn't know how.

As my heart is hurting for you I am praying that in the midst of your surrender of your girl, that you will see the presence of God in a beautiful, transforming way.

I wish I could give you a hug!


Anonymous said...

still praying for your family and now especially for your cousin mark. may God use him in a mighty way!


Laura said...

I'm praying so hard for you, girl! He who is within us is greater than he who is in the world. Hang on to that. He will take care of her!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

continuing prayers for your peace this day.


HisPrincess said...

Lelia, after reading your post last night and praying for you you have remained on my mind and in my heart.

And then this morning I log on to read this wonderful news!

I pray now that Alyssa will turn to the Lord for everything she needs, that she will know that he can fix everything. I pray that your relationship with your daughter can be mended, and filled with joy and love.

Amy L Brooke said...

I'm glad Alyssa is safe. I will pray that her heart will be embraced with His love.

Mari said...


I met you briefly at She Speaks through Pam. My heart is breaking for you. I pray that God will give you His peace and His strength to walk through this trial. You know He loves you and your daughter. I pray that she begins to feel what true love really is, God's love for her. I have two daughters just entering their teenage years. Your story helps me realize how much more I need to be in prayer for them and their friends. Hold tight to the Lord, He will bring you through. I'll be in prayer for you, Alyssa and Amiyah

Jenny said...

Hey Lelia,
I'm so glad that she is talking with someone who has her best interest at heart! I'm praying for you all.


Kim said...

What an amazing post sweet Lelia!!! Remember, although you may not know everything your sweet daughter is going through...Jesus does....nad no matter what she's done/or where she's been, he is ALWAYS waiting...with open arms, ready to receive her, and LOVE her...forever and always.


Lizerd said...

Oh, Lelia! I have been away on my vacation (where Satan attacked me viciously...what is up with him?? Don't read my blog right now, I have struggled so the last few days!) and read about your week. I immediately began to pray and will continue to do so.
Dear God, be mighty in this situation. Fill Alyssa with your love and peace. Keep her safe. Surround this family with your faithfulness. You are the Almighty God, healer of all things. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Anonymous said...

Oh Lelia,
I am so thankful for your cousin Mark, and that you at least have a word about where Alyssa is and how she is doing. We praise You God for bringing her to Mark!
I will continue to pray.
I love you,

Samantha said...

I tried posting a comment earlier, but I guess it didn't stick!

Like so many others, I'll be praying for you and your family. May the Lord continue to watch over your family (it's wonderful that her cousin reached out to her!).

You are a strong, brave woman of God. I pray that your faith stays strong, and for your daughter's wellness.

Speaking Thru Me Ministries said...

hey girlie - Hope you are doing well!! I have a giveaway on my blog you might want to check out!!

Love, Leigh

lisalyn said...

Hi...I am new to your blog. I happened to link to it from another blog. Anyway, I want you to know that you have impressed me with your words. I missed your study "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God.", but I've read through some of your study notes. Wow, thank you for sharing. I see you are doing a new study and I may join you.
Also, I want to tell you that I prayed last night for your Daughter. We serve a God who cares so much for her and He wants to take care of her. May you continue to trust in Him as He works out things for your Daughter.
God Bless.

valerie said...

I wrote a really long comment and don't see it on here & don't know what happened to it???
Just know I'm praying!
Love ya,