My reasons are there is ugly stuff in my past. So ugly sometimes I can't believe I lived that life. Ugliness I just want to take to the grave with me. Looking at someone you just can't tell what is going on inside of them. We may have a teenager that comes from the best family, goes to youth group, excels in sports and has the brightest future within her grasp, but inside where only God has a bird's eye view is an absolute mess.
She may feel empty, so she looks to whatever is willing to fill her up. She thinks her emptiness is the longing for attention from a guy and so begins a life of momentary satisfaction. A life that longs to be saved from herself. A self that allows her morals and beliefs to be shoved to the side to get what she thinks she needs and wants only to be left with much remorse to deal with.
So in order to not reveal this ugly side about her, she masters how to make things look good on the outside. She smiles and laughs. The Christian girl in her has been trained to carry her Bible into the church and listen to the message and if she doesn't have a hangover, take notes.
When she becomes an adult, she attends conferences with other believers and lifts her hands in worship like they do. Her own thoughts keep her from trusting anyone she is surrounded by because she is convinced that if they really knew her they too would feel disgust like she does for the woman she sees in the mirror.
A life filled with choices that are followed by consequences that want to literally kill, steal and destroy her and at times she wished they would. She wants to live right, but there is such a strong pull to the other side that eventually she just gave in. Over and over again. When will the madness end?
As she grows closer to God she knows He is more powerful than her enemy. She learns how to stay in God's Word every day. She now watches the enemy go after her own kids as a fierceness rises within her that she didn't know she had. She is sick and tired of what the enemy has stolen from her even though sometimes she handed herself to him without a fight. She is regretful of what the enemy has killed in her life. And she is fed up with what he is destroying in this present day.
So does she keep pretending and working hard on making things in her life appear to be real or does she surrender in defeat of herself to the Almighty One? I want to be real before God all the time. Every day and every second of my life. I can't fool Him, for He sees me for what I am and undeniably still loves me. I know I'm not worthy of the sacrifice of any one's child, but for some crazy reason God thinks differently. I know that day on Calvary my face and name crossed the heart of Jesus Christ and He let me know of my worth by hanging there until the finish.
Instead of being used for satisfaction I am being used for the Kingdom.
Instead of labeling myself as a slut I call myself His Princess.
Instead of feeling ashamed I feel His glory wrap around me.
So this year alone God has taught me that He wants me to say YES to Him with no hesitation. He gave me Lysa TerKeurst's book "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God" as my guide. Then He wanted me to learn about having faith in Him all of the time and gave me another of Lysa's incredible writings, "What Happens When Women Walk in Faith" to show me the steps to take to live that faith filled life He wants me to live.
Perhaps this is why my friend Amy Brooke's blog is titled "God's Work in Progress", because He isn't done with me. Now He wants me to learn how to be real with Him and so He gave me "Behind Those Eyes" by Lisa Whittle.
Years ago I was in severe pain. Two of my wisdom teeth were impacted which means my teeth were completely covered with swollen gum tissue something that required the dentist to cut my gums away in order to pull my teeth out. I was out on my own and didn't have insurance at the time so I took the pain as long as I could handle it. My Mom took me to her dentist and within a few days I was back to normal and my mouth felt great. The thing is that on the outside, I looked fine. Glancing at me, you couldn't make a correct assessment of why I was in pain. Even if I opened my mouth, you couldn't tell because the gums covered my teeth completely.
On the outside all looked well and healthy, but on the inside I was experiencing excruciating pain. It took coming to the reality that I couldn't handle the pain anymore and allowing the dentist to do oral surgery.
Sometimes ladies, we just need to be real with ourselves and surrender to the Great Physician. Don't tell Him how to do it, just trust in Him and let Him do what He does best to fix the mess within.
Let's learn to become real with Him and live the life He wants us to live. A faith-filled, no hesitation, real life that is all about Him.
Click here to visit the author, Lisa Whittle. I haven't read her post yet, but she said she had something God gave her for the Yes to God study girls. Go visit her even if you aren't doing the study for God just may have a Word for you too.
You know I love you.
Have a great weekend.