Wednesday, June 4, 2008

6 year old for sale

Tonight at 7pm I will officially become reinstated as an athlete. I will lace up my tennis shoes and will attempt to learn how to run properly instead of looking like I'm running in pain or from something.

I have had many "what the heck am I doing" moments over this last week. I mean c'mon, running?
When I was in high school and Spring would roll around I dreaded when the bell would ring at 3:30 and I had to go dress for track. Volleyball...loved it, basketball...played it, track...hated it. Our school was out in the country and we didn't have a track so we had to run telephone poles for our practice...oh my goodness I was so happy when the doctor told me I had a hip pointer and couldn't participate anymore.
Here's the definition of a hip pointer in case you don't know:
The hip pointer is a contusion or deep bruise to the bone called the iliac crest. This is the bone you feel at the top of your hips on either side. The athlete with a hip pointer experiences instant pain and disability.

Rejoicing with an ice pack on my hip over the diagnosis of a hip pointer goes to show just how much I despised the sport of running. Just seemed so pointless as I ran from telephone pole to telephone pole only to end up back in the school parking lot completely exhausted.
So I just have to ask myself twenty years after being a track drop out:
Self, what are you doing?

I need your prayers sisters. At 7pm tonight I need to be given the ability to soar on wings like eagles and run and not grow weary, and of course walk and not be faint. So if you could just pray Isaiah 40:31 over me tonight that would be fantastic.

As you may have read in my post Thick Truth, my 6 year old Alivia motivated me even after I read her entry to her 1st grade teacher and she described me as being white and thick. My husband has dark skin and so my kids who are bi-racial have the advantage of an instant tan. All year. It's just so unfair in the summer because no matter how much color I think I've added to my skin tone, according to my roommates, I'm still pale.

Just as my confidence starts to rise it plummeted a little after yesterday. I had Alivia here at work with me since summer vacation has begun. Suddenly she came running into my office and picked up the phone off the other desk. She had a note pad with a phone number she had written on it. I of course asked her who she was calling as she began to dial. With much excitement and as serious as she could be she hung up the phone and just like her Daddy started talking with her hands as she said:

"Mom, I just saw this on TV and I want to buy it for you. It's a super shaver and you can shave your arms, legs (she's pointing to every body part), your underarms, your lip and your chin. I want to get this for you. It's only $19.99."
Trying to comprehend all she just told me, I tried to tell her I was fine, paranoid now, but fine with my 2 dollar tweezers at home, but she was insistent. Later while I was trying to balance the company check book I was unaware she had come back in my office and got back on the phone until I heard her say, "Oh man, I only have 10 minutes to order this!" I assume the infomercial told her if she ordered the Tweeze within 10 minutes she could get it for $9.99! 6 year old has innocently given me a complex. I don't know if a beginner's running clinic can help me at all now because apparently being thick is the least of my problems.

If we have to do introductions tonight how does this sound...

"Hello, my name is Lelia. I am 37. I am white, thick and I have a hairy chin and I sport a mustache. I'm glad to be here."

I'm sure I'll have many begging to be my running partner.
Anyway, every Thursday starting tomorrow, I'll share with you what I learn on Wednesday night and will give you the homework they give us. Yes, I'll actually be given running assignments to do in between our meeting times each Wednesday. Remember, this is for beginner's so they teach us how to work up to a mile, two miles, etc.
Those who want to join me this summer...we can do this!

Oh, and did I mention there is a 6 year old for sale on e-bay?

She's a life coach that will tell you like it is and motivate the heck out of you or make you feel like hiding. You can find her right next to the Tweeze she thinks I need...

~Many Blessings~


Runner Mom said...

I just found your blog--it's awesome! I am so proud that you are going to run tonight! You go, girl! Enjoy that heat and humidity! I am still "glistening" from this morning's run! Just put one foot in front of the other and take off! You will have so much fun! I can't wait to hear about your run.

Laura said...

You are so hilarious! what's the going price on that cute little six year old, anyway?

Michelle said...

Too funny! I can relate to being the only pale member of the family. Although she's adorable, I won't bid on the six-year-old. I don't think I could handle her and my four-year-old, who lets me know when my hair looks "crazy". Best of luck tonight. You can do it!!!!

Sita said...

Oh, I just love your family! I seriously think that my sons and your 6-yr-old are related..the things they say! I just met my 10-yr-old's Art teacher...she says she really likes him cuz he's so 'fresh'..I know what she means...everything that boy does or says has never been done or said is completely fresh...I love it that God has a sense of humour, don't you...
still laughing..
Your-beige-ish-sister, (my son's fresh description)

tiggerdaisy said...

hahahahahaha....Lelia, you crack me up!

I have prayed Isaiah 40:31 over you. Be blessed as you go run tonight! Remember, we want no earthquakes tonight...or aftershocks either! hehehe I'm sorry. I just couldn't resist bringing up the earthquake thing from one of your previous posts. :) Forgive me.

Love you, mean it, really I do!


Anonymous said...

THAT girl is a TRIP!!!

but, I would sell her on e-bay too!

Just kidding--may be just lock her in a closet for a few years.

I will be praying for you tonight and I can not wait to hear what kind of "homework" you will get from running club.....yuck!!

Kimberly said...

I am laughing so hard my husband is looking at me like I am crazy! I love how you look at life...and "compliments" from a six year old! :)
Have fun running! You are a better woman than I am! Right now, I am just running for another cup of coffee! :)
Love you,

Tori Shelton said...

thanks for a good laugh... it's funny how kids see us sometimes.

when i was pregnant, feeling pretty good about only gaining 18 pounds in my eighth month, my 4 year old son asked "why does your booty keep getting so big- the baby's in your belly, right?".

he was for sale for a day or two also... until i'm sure he made up for it with some sort of sweetness.

i'm glad you're writing this stuff down, and entertaining the rest of us. keep up the hard work, and just see those six year old comments as God's sense of humor!!

Anonymous said...

Ohhhh Lelia----are you still alive
????? Did you make it through your first night of running club? Should we call 911??

Lelia--are you there??

valerie said...

Hey Lelia!
That is the funniest story.
Kids are so honest though. I used
to teach kindergarten and if I wanted to know the truth about something I'd ask one of them.
It was back in 1999 and I was probably 15 pounds lighter than I am now and I had kids in high school and this little girl in my class would always say, "You're gonna have a baby!" and she'd look at my stomach. Little did she know I was about to have a hysterectomy. :)
Way back when I first started teaching I had a slightly crooked tooth in the front (before I got braces as an adult)and this little girl was in line right in front of me and looking up at my mouth...she said, "You've got a crooked tooth." I had been paranoid about it anyway...but, I looked into getting braces & did.
Yes, kids are pretty funny & VERY honest.
How's the baby? I bet she's really growing and changing.
Thanks for the comment on my blog.
The kitchen project is way overdue.
We decided not to use that one accent piece on the tile. It just doesn't match.
I leave for camp Sun. afternoon (me and my friend are the cooks) and camp is Mon. - Sat. so I'd appreciate your prayers as we take 40 teenagers.
You can check out the camp we go to on and click on Falls Creek. It's awesome!
I'll end my novel now, but it was great to read your story today and I'll be praying for you. I have a good 15 or 20 I'd love to lose.
I am doing good on my oatmeal (YUCK)and treadmill.
Have a good one!
Love ya,

Sandra said...

Hope all went well last night and that you are able to at least get out of bed this morning - no pain no gain ;-). I'll be praying for you!


Pamela (MrsJoeB) said...

Only out of the mouth of babes!! Too funny...really, you will laugh at this once the pain wears off. She really is a keeper that Alivia!!

Blessings to a wonderful mom!!

In His Graces~Pamela

Amy L Brooke said...

I'll take her? What's the bidding at? I need some motivation.

I'll walk with you at She Speaks. I'm not sure you could get me to run!

Yolanda said...

Oh man, I would love to have that clever 6 year old in my home! ;0)

Start small Girlfriend....with the Son in your eyes!

Love you,

KCAimee said...

I am just connecting with you tonight as I read through some of your older posts. My husband is Hispanic and I am also "white" and somewhat "thick". Today at the pool, my almost 6 year old told me that I'm not as skinny as our next door neighbor. I asked him if that mattered and he said, yes, he likes for me to be skinny. Hmmm, maybe I'll have to take up running too!