Thursday, June 26, 2008

A King's Daughter

If I took my kids to the zoo and a lion escaped his cage and was prowling around the zoo grounds looking for someone to devour there is no way I'd just point out the lion to the kids and say "Oh look kids, there's a hungry lion." The mother in me who knows what the hungry lion is after would fight to protect the life of my children. I would do whatever it took to make sure my kids left the zoo in one piece instead of the meal for the animal.

1 Peter 5:8
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Last night the lion feasted on my teenage daughter and so I'm doing whatever it takes to save the life of my child. I'm praying. At 3:30 in the morning not knowing the location of her I was changing the diaper of her sleeping 2 month old and literally hit my knees. I was against the changing table with my hands reaching up and lying on Amiyah's tummy and as she slept I was kneeling and crying out to God. The only One who can truly see into my heart.

Without going into too much detail I am asking for prayer. Prayer for this teen mom who I have no doubt adores and loves her precious 2 month old Amiyah. A teen mom who wants it to work with the absent dad. A teen mom who can't see the blessing of his voluntary absence because of his lack of love for this baby and herself. A teen mom who is hurting because he is paying attention to the baby girl born to him 3 months before Amiyah entered the world. A teen mom who doesn't get that she is living with a woman who has been in her shoes before.

My heart aches so much for her. So much emotion has poured through me throughout the night, morning hours and today. I hurt for her. I want to fix it and make it all better and yet I feel so strongly that I need to step back and allow God to let her get to the bottom.

Lelia, how can she reach up to Me if you're always picking her up?
But Lord she's my daughter and I want to rescue her from this mess.
She's my daughter too Lelia and I want to be her Hero.

So much pain and yet I feel so much hope. How? Because I believe that I serve a God that is looking down in Lincoln, Nebraska at a teen mom that is desperate for affection and love and He is just waiting for her to give Him the green light. Waiting for His prodigal daughter to utter the words that her heart aches to express "Father I need You" so He can give her the welcome back party of her life.

A control freak by nature I have decided that I am giving this to God and not crawling back up to the foot of the cross when I think He's not looking to take it back. I get in His way so often that I need to give Him the room to be noticed by her.

Rock bottom of a pit is the worst place to be. I know. I've lived there. It's full of despair and offers such hopeless feelings. I know that is where my daughter is and all I can do is walk away from the pit. What's hard is I am within earshot and can see the pain in her face and tears. I can hear the desperation in her voice. So on my knees I fight against this hungry lion.

I pray she begs God to help her. My heart wants to run over to the pit, lay on my stomach and extend my arms to her and with all my might pull her up out of it. But I can't. I'm not saying there won't be any discipline, but I will not fix this.

If anyone is going to pull my daughter out of this pit, her hands will be grasping the scarred hands of her Savior. Her Hero.

Jesus, I step back out of your way.
Do your thing within in my daughter.
Your daughter.

Throughout Alyssa's pregnancy I have asked God to show me and teach me how to pour grace over her head. Click here to read that story. I am showing grace in this situation by letting God be in control, then if she misses what He has for her it won't be because of my interference.

She won't answer her phone, but she texted me not long ago and asked, "What's going to happen to me?" I have not answered her because I have no idea what God is going to do. I know she's not talking about that but I once heard a speaker read

Psalm 68:1
May God arise, may his enemies be scattered

After she read it, she said what that is saying is:
God is about to get up!

Arise Lord! ARISE!

A few days after returning from She Speaks where God just filled me up, it was no surprise to Him what I'd be coming home to. I feel prepared for this battle that my dear friend Kelley, who is going through her own stuff reminded me of is that the battle is not mine, but God's. Between Lysa and Renee's talks at the conference I feel God has prepared my heart. Saturday night Renee shared about standing in the shadow of the cross and how sometimes God allows us to get to painful places. We were given cards with verses and a word on it.
Mine was ABLE with the verse Habakkuk 3:19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer he enables me to go on the heights. With God, I am able to get through this and shower my daughter with the grace she needs right now. What timing God has, doesn't He?
Another friend I met at the conference, Amy, is also going through a battle and is also determined to stay focused on the King. This enemy we have ladies is real. Let's be alert as we are warned to be.
Did I mention today is my anniversary? I wouldn't want to be on this journey chasing God with any other man. I love you Gene. Let's have Blessed Anniversary! xoxo



Jenny said...

I know and can feel your pain! I will be praying for her.

Your right God is looking at her just waiting for her to reach out to him. One thing I will be praying for her is that God will put someone in her path like my Elosie, that can bless her and point her to Jesus. I don't know why, but it seems like sometimes Moms/daughters take time to grow together.

Leila, you are precious and I'm praying that God will be very present to you today!

Love ya!

Susan said...

Lord I come to you now in behalf of my precious friend Lelia and her daughter Alyssa.

I pray that you would give Lelia wisdom as she holds on to you and let's go of her daughter.

Father please turn Alyssa's heart toward you now. Draw her back into your loving arms where she will find the love and acceptance she desperately needs now. Be a shelter and refuge she can run to.

Watch over her and protect her during this lonely time. Be all that she needs and more, In Jesus name I pray Amen.

Lelia, I'll continue to pray. You're not alone my friend. We are in a battle for our children's souls. Praise God we know the VICTORY is His and so is the battle. Keep standing, I'm right here with you. LOVE YOU♥

Amy Wyatt said...

Thank you for your words of encouragement and prayers in the midst of your own battles. I will be lifting you and Alyssa up in prayer. You are so right... we have an enemy and he is fighting mad at how much we received this past weekend. But we have everything we need to defeat him and while we may temporarily lose some battles, we know who wins the war. May God comfort you with His peace as you go through this. I pray that Alyssa will realize He is standing waiting with open arms and when she decides, He will not only arise but will coming running to her.

tiggerdaisy said...

We definitely have an enemy, and he is not a friendly sort. He doesn't play by the rules, and he certainly doesn't care if he hurts us. But God is greater. God is more able. God can comfort our hurts and heal our wounds. God is the victor.

I will be praying for you my sweet sister. Do not despair, the Lord is near. He will make a way for you, Gene, Aaron, Alivia, Alyssa and Amiyah.

Love you,

Lisa said...

I know this post is much more than a post to is your life and you are pouring out your heart. Please know that a friend in North Carolina hears you and will be praying for you TODAY! I never commit to pray for someone I don't pray for, and I don't take it lightly. So...know that you and you daughter and baby granddaughter are being lifted up by me, and many others, I'm sure.

I especially loved this part in your post... (dialouge from God)
Lelia, how can she reach up to Me if you're always picking her up?
That meant something to me. It's familiar. I love to get in the way of what God wants to do in the life of people I care about. So even despite your pain in all this, God used your words to speak to my heart. Thank you.

One of the things that God has been teaching me lately is to shut up and pray. I love to talk and give my input, especially to my husband. But things don't change this way. Lelia, we can't control anything. I am reminded of this every day.

The best thing I can do for you is pray. And I will.

Love you!
Lisa :)

Carol said...

Praying for you sweet friend.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lord,

Please hear my friend's cry,
Her babygirl needs you and she is running from you. Please call out to her. Please grab hold of her. Let her see the love that only you can provide. Let her realize that the choice is hers but you want her to be your child.

And God please give Lelia and Gene a peace that passes all understanding. They love this girl but realize that they can no longer fix things--it is up to her and YOU.

Thank you God because we know that you are good and you are a part of this story and we will wait on you.

Pamela (MrsJoeB) said...

When I received your short text to pray for her I senced something was worng and immediately went to my knees for her and for you. Satan hit here hard today also...what is with him? After I went through my "emotions" I said the same thing you did.."God I give it to you. You be in control." That's what we have to do. I have prayed though out the day for your daughter and will continue to!!

In His Graces~Pamela

Yolanda said...


I am so thankful to be a small part of your life, praying as I only know how to for your precious child......BELIEVING THAT GOD IS CALLING HER NAME. Believing His Promises, BELIEVING that you, as well as Kelley, and many others are an enemy of satan and he is hungry to chomp you all up because YOU ALL ARE DAUGHTER'S OF THE MOST HIGH GOD! THE VERY ONE THAT KICKED him RIGHT OUT OF HEAVEN TO THE GATES OF HELL. AND he ISN'T HAPPY.

Praise God, we will NOT let him steal our JOY. So take that satan....The ONE True God is able, and ready and He isn't one to be messed with.

Lord Jesus, come to Alyssa's rescue, her KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR. Lord, show her YOUR stuff! Amen.

Alyssa if you are reading are LOVED.

Love ya are so loved also!


Paula (SweetPea) said...

As I listen to the storm outside about to brew, I think of this storm of life you are painfully enduring. As Christians, I believe it is a part of our call to follow God...storms, treacherous storms. My heart breaks for you and I have already lifted my petitions to the Father, the One and Only who can change this situation and transform your daughter's heart.

You are exactly right that it is only when WE let go, He can begin to work. I believe it is at that point that we let go and we genuinely don't try to secretly crawl back up to the Cross and take it back. When we come to this point, as you stated you have, it is so liberating. THAT is exactly where the peace is. Without sidetracking onto me, I indeed did experience this on Memorial weekday. As I type this I can see the "irony" of why my incident happened on that weekend, a weekend to remember the dead...for me a time to release a dead relationship into the Hands of the Heavenly Father. I was totally freed. Ironically, it was through the very mean and so painful words of my beloved that I was able to so "I see God. I understand now. You were waiting on me. I surrender. I let go." And indeed I have. I still have the emotional roller coaster. I still have the ups and downs. I still have the questions. I still have the wondering and waiting and what ifs. But there's something that is resting within my soul that says: God's taking care of it. You just wait on Him.

Those are the words I give to you. God is taking care of it. You just wait on Him, Lelia.

I too love the conversation you had with God. Doesn't it just change our whole perspective we we realize they are not ours...they are not our children, they are not our husbands, they are not our loved ones. Your God loves your daughter more than you ever could. What better Hands to trust her with than the Precious Lord.

I love you, my dear sweet friend.
Email me anytime with such a request or any updated requests.

Julie said...

Lelia, Though the circumstances are different I've been in a place like that with a child of mine. She strayed off the path for a season.... It hurt like hell to see her off the path. Nothing I said or did would bring her back to where she needed to be. I had to let go..

It was one of the hardest seasons of my life. I felt so helpless. So I asked God to go after that hunt them down with His love..... He did..... The bottom fell out of her life and she found Him standing there with open arms, waiting.. Her life turned around....she just returned from a 5 month's missions trip. God redeems and restores all.... EVERYTHING is covered by His grace....even when we run away from Him.

Just one more story. There is a young man in our small group. He was not raised in the faith. In fact he spent years trying to prove God was wrong. What He didn't realize that in all the things He was doing to prove God wrong, God was using it to reveal...pursue and hunt him down.

He's going after your sweet one...He will NEVER give up...He is hotly pursuing her even now.

I have felt your pain.....


Jamie said...

Oh, my heart aches too, for you, your precious daughter, and that beautiful grandbaby! My eyes are filled with tears, but I know God is mighty. I'm committing to pray for you and your family!!! Thanks for sharing your heart.

LynnSC said...

My New Friend,
My heart is aching for you... but I can certainly see the Lord working in your heart. What a blessing it is to be able to pour out our hearts to Him and know that He cares about our concerns... more than we do. You are such a great mother. You are giving your daughter what is best for her, room for God to work. I can rest many times knowing that God loves my children even more than I do... which is quite a hard thing to believe considering how much I love them.

Your heart is so sweet and tender. You are in such deep love with the Savior. AND... He is in such deep love with you and your sweet daughter.

Thanks so much for being real. When we are real... God can use us to minister to others.

I will be praying for you and your precious family. Praise to you Father!!

Sita said...

I've just finished doing Beth's study on self-control and broken walls through which Satan freely sweeps in to trample.
I pray that God will quicken Alyssa's heart and mind, that with sudden insight she will grasp what her true need is and where it can be found. I pray that that she will know without any doubt that she will find no satisfaction where she is seeking it, and in fact will be repulsed by it. I pray that you, Lelia and Gene, will be filled with His wisdom to release what you cannot control and so may you be filled with His peace.
How painful it is to watch someone you love hurt themselves, but like Joseph, just remember, what Satan means for destruction will be for Alyssa's salvation...just keep on praying and trusting...
Love, Sita

karamy3sons said...

Know that you are loved and I am praying for you and your family.

Kara-John 3:30

PS. I pray that the following verses will encourage you, The Lord is in control, do not fear!

Isaiah 43:1-5 (Amplified Bible)

1-BUT NOW [in spite of past judgments for Israel's sins], thus says the Lord, He Who created you, O Jacob, and He Who formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you [ransomed you by paying a price instead of leaving you captives]; I have called you by your name; you are Mine.
2-When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned or scorched, nor will the flame kindle upon you.

3-For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt [to the Babylonians] for your ransom, Ethiopia and Seba [a province of Ethiopia] in exchange [for your release].

4-Because you are precious in My sight and honored, and because I love you, I will give men in return for you and peoples in exchange for your life.

5-Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east [where they are dispersed] and gather you from the west.(A)

Sheryl said...

Wow, is she blessed to you have you for a mom. A mom who listens to the words her Father says and heeds them. I love what you said about getting out of the way so God could reach her. Don't we just want to fix it for them?

The enemy is on the prowl more and more these days. He is attacking at our home with great force. But I will learn from you to let God fight the battle.

Praying for all you (and I mean that)


Lisa said...

Prayed for you tonight.

And girl...I am so excited about you doing the study in the fall. Truly, I'm thrilled and humbled and honored! I will be teaching it to our home church during those fall months, as well, and I will pray, pray, pray for your group doing it at the same time. Maybe I can get in on some of the online discussions! That would be such fun.

So thankful this blog thing brought us together! And to think -- I didn't want to even have a blog. But God knew better, and now I get the privalege of praying for you, my friend. Wow.

Love ya tons!
Lisa :)

Tracy said...

It breaks my heart to read your post. Please know your daughter, your grandaughter, and the rest of your family are in my prayers. I'm so grateful God prepared you for this last weekend. You are such a wise Momma to pass this to our Lord and step back, as hard as that is. That decision can be excrutiating at times. Within my own family, I've seen a number of prodigals whose parents have been unable to do that. They've continued to rescue, etc. and their kids are still struggling, some many years after the fact. May God continue to strengthen you as He pursues Alyssa.

...for I will fight those who fight you,and I will save your children. ~Isaiah 49:25 (NLT)

HisPrincess said...

My prayers are with you Lelia. I pray that Alyssa will open her heart and accept the Lords love. I pray that the Lord will speak and act through you to show you the right way to handle this.

Don't lose heart. It's hard but with God's help, you can be what she needs.

Runner Mom said...

Just read your blog. You all are in my prayers, girlfriend! I will be lifting you up throughout the day! Wish I could be there to give you a hug. Alyssa will see the Light--in His perfect timing. Thank you for trusting and obeying Him. Keep us posted.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lelia! I read your post this morning... I have been thinking about you and your girls throughout the day and sending up my prayers for you all. The things you have mentioned in your previous posts, well, it's obvious that you seek God with regards to your parenting, and this post demonstrates your sheer passion in doing so. It's so hard to step back and let our children "write their own story" when all we want to do is protect and provide. I think you're right in all that you believe God would be determining you do in this situation with Alyssa, in terms of letting Him "be her hero". I went through something very similar when I was younger, and even though it was at times hard listening to my mum, I think the hardest was when she stopped talking, stopped asking after me, stopped demanding to know what was going on. I think teenage rebellion and hardships are made so much more difficult because boundaries are let loose or disappear; and I'm certainly not saying that this is happening with you guys, but I simply want to encourage you to stay right where God has put you. You're not a Mum who is out of touch or who has no idea; with all that you've been through and all that you've learnt along the way, you'll be a Mum who understands, who shows concern with compassion and one who is not going to criticise or judge. My prayer is that Alyssa will take in all that she hears from you, even though it may seem like she is outwardly fighting you or God, and through all that will happen as she writes her own story, she will know the love, grace and strength from our Lord... Blessings to you, and to your Husband as you celebrate your anniversary...

Tracy said...

If you have a moment, stop by and read my entry for today. I shared it with you and a couple of others in mind...

Blessings, sweet friend.

Sandra said...


I humbly offer you my hugs and prayer.

Your Sister in Christ,

Yolanda said...


GOOD MORNING! Have you by chance, read Day 2 of Week 2 in the workbook for NOG's yet?

It is hitting me right in the face, Girlfriend, and as I'm allowing Him to deal with me, I'm also thinking about this particular post of yours.

Love ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Laurie Ann said...

Lelia, please know I'm lifting your daughter up in prayer, as well as your granddaughter, you and your family. Your wisdom and grace in dealing with this situation is encouraging. I pray God will give you peace and give your precious daughter a sense of direction and hope for the future. He is definitely able.

Tammy R said...

As I read your post today, my heart became heavy.I will be praying for you and your daughter.

I too,had a prodigal child, my son. Many nights I would wake up praying for his protection. Eveyday my heart was broken.Everyday he struggled with life and was running from God.
I was always trying to ease his pain.I was always looking in the other direction.The burden got heavier as I blame myself for his actions.I knew that I was in God's way but I couldn't let go,he was MY child.

At the age of 18 he was spinning out of control.I was tired and afraid for his life.I knew I needed to let God take over,so I told him that he had to move out.I prayed for God to show him that satan was real and he was out to destory him.
God did just that and my son received Christ.
He is now 26 and doing well. He still has many struggles and is working out his salvation with the Lord.But I am trusting God.
Here is a passage that helps me during my moments of doubt:Luke7:11-16. God showed me that He does care and it will only take a touch from Him to bring spiritual life to the ones we love.
I can see that you are a woman of faith through your writing so,
believe,trust and do your battle on your knees!

Kelley said...

Oh my friend, I am in this with you. In some ways I have lived Alyssa's story too and my heart aches for her. My heart aches for you and Amiyah and Gene and everyone who loves this girl who is so confused and hurting. The good news is that there is a lion waiting to rescue her. The Lion of Judah is just waiting to hear the word and come in and destroy all of her enemies (loneliness, fear, insecurity...). I am praying for you and I am so grateful that our lives have crossed paths.

Much love,

Heather said...

Thank you for sharing your heart today, and as a result, you have many friends praying for you and Alyssa and your family. I will be praying for peace for you, protection for Alyssa, for revelation and assurance of God's love for her.

I pray that she constantly feels His presence, for as David wrote,

"Is there anyplace I can go to avoid Your Spirit? to be out of Your sight? If I climb to the sky, You're there! If I go underground, You're there! If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon - You'd find me in a minute - You're already there waiting! Then I said to myself, "Oh, He even sees me in the dark! At night I'm immersed in the light! It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to You; night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to You" (Ps. 139:7-12).

Also, congratulations to you & Gene on your anniversary! What a blessing you have in each other and in our God Who brought you together!

"Just Me - NC Beth" said...

Lelia, as I read this, my heart hurts for all of you....

You are all in my prayers.


Kristen Schiffman said...

I am praying for your daughter and her heart. My best friend went through a situation so similiar to this it is stirring in me the memories of how her heart was so torn...

God WILL arise. I pray the gates will be lifted up as the King of Glory, strong and mighty, enters in.

<3, Kristen

Kimberly said...

Oh, sweet, sweet Leila,

I was coming by to catch up as my computer is now fixed, and I saw that something was up with your precious family. I did some searching and found this post. I am so sincerely sorry, and I will be praying for you, for your daughter, for your granddaughter.

I am so glad He is such a loving and perfect Father. I will be praying. I truly will.

Love you, and so wish that we could meet up for lunch. I would give you the biggest hug ever.

Love you,