Tuesday, October 7, 2008

YES to GOD study: Chapter 3

I am so glad you have come by for

Oh what a time it has been since we last met to discuss this awesome book by Lisa Whittle called "Behind Those Eyes" .

I apologize for being so late.

This morning I had to accompany my husband to meet with his surgeon in Omaha which is an hour drive away. Then this afternoon when we finally got home I had to go pick up our son. Then, when I finally was able to get on the computer to post, the computer problem I thought was fixed is still a problem. So, I came over to my parents' home to use my Dad's computer.

Whew! Was that enough excuses? If not, did I mention that my teenage daughter is pregnant..again???

Oh, yes, I did already tell you that last Thursday. Oh well, I tried.

Ms. Perfection is in the bathroom having a meltdown blubbering something about "I wanted to have the YES to GOD post up and running by 12:01am so the early birds could link their blogs..." while Ms. Confidence is at the door trying to reassure her that blog world did not fall apart because she is posting at 5pm instead. I should've read ahead to chapter 5 so Ms. Spirituality could be praying over the two of them.

Anyway...I'm glad you're here. Shoot, I'm glad I'm here.

Let's get started.

Remember, anything in blue is a quote from the book.


I really enjoyed the story of the woman that Lisa and her friend met with and how the story ended. It would've been so easy for Lisa and her friend to just walk away from this woman, but their response to her was so Jesus. This woman displayed confidence from head to toe. She did it for as long as she could stand, then crumbled in a mess of tears and showed the side of her that needed these women to embrace her and pray for her and these two women of God did just that.

What do we expect a confident woman to do? Wear a big neon sign that says, I Need People?

Ms. Confidence, and those under her tutelage, would not get caught dead wearing a sign like that for fear of blowing their confident cover.

We choose to portray a confident woman with it all together in order to save ourselves the pain that might come with people seeing our vulnerabilities.

I got a lot out of the section titled "TRUE CONFIDENCE".

Confidence is not something merely worn.

Confidence can't be layered on with our clothes for the day, and it can't be taken off or removed by anyone else when it is truly present.

Lisa pointed out to us that we were not created to live in a completely self-reliant state.
We need to be completely attached to Jesus to make it day by day in this life.

We have to be.

True confidence come from only one Source-and it cannot be bought, sold, put on, or manufactured.

I loved the poem she included, especially this section:

A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face...

But a woman of strength wears grace.

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey...

But a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.

Oh,that's what I'm believing in this journey me and my family are on at the present moment. I believe that the grace I choose to extend to my daughter and the faith I have in every step of this journey will make me stronger. My confidence, faith and focus has got to be on Him and Him alone.

Jesus gives us the answers to every spiritual dilemma, and confidence is no different.

Last Thursday when I shared with you how our teenage daughter Alyssa is pregnant again, I had included a a verse in 2 Corinthians that I had never read before in this particular version (The Message). Sunday when I was reading my chapter, out loud, I said "wow" when Lisa had the same version of the verse on page 54...

My grace is enough; it's all you need.

My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

I always think when I read something back to back or hear a message over and over God is trying to tell me something.

I got it.

I need to stay out of His way, put my confidence in Him, because in my weakness His strength will come into its own!

Oh, I just love that promise!

I loved how Lisa closed out the chapter with what she termed new definitions for the buzzwords for Ms. Confidence. I'll just share my favorite one...

Emotionally Healthy: The desire to please only one source--that is, Jesus Christ; the opinion of anyone else pales in comparison to what He thinks of us.

You know what ladies? This past few days my emotions have been really up and they have been really down. I have felt proud of my daughter for not even considering an abortion to really embarrassed that she wasn't using birth or self control. I have cried then laughed, yelled then unable to speak and have felt joy turn to deep sorrow. I have been angry with her, myself, my husband, the guy, God, but especially Satan. I have asked forgiveness of God, my husband and myself. I have wanted to tear her apart and love on her all in the same day. I have felt compassion and fury back to back. So much that I just feel like walking away. I don't want this. Then I read about Ms. Confidence. I feel none of her right now. Our family looks like a mess. What do I have to be confident about?


I have God to be confident in and about.

Despite all the craziness swirling about me I can be confident in God.

When Pfizer tells us after November 10th you won't get another check from us until March 2009 I can rest in the confidence that GOD not Pfizer is our Provider!

When my daughter's impersonated confidence crumbles and fades away, which it will, I put my confidence in the God who is her Savior and instead of kicking her when she's down, I remind her how much He loves her and is crazy for her.

Confidence in a King is amazing.

Last night I wanted to just leave. Too much pressure for me, but then Lisa's words of not being made to be self-reliant came back to me.

I was never created to handle all of this on my own. Never. I don't have the shoulder's of a King. These burdens are His to handle, not mine and in Him I put my full confidence. It's going to be okay and right now He is forming my 2nd grandchild in my teenage daughter's womb. Breathtaking that He is creating as I type and breathtaking that she'll have two kids at age 19.

Oh Lord. Oh Lord.

Please answer this challenge question in the comments whether you are reading the book or not:

Is it hard for you to admit your vulnerabilities to others? To God?

Remember...if you have more to say on your own blog then sign up under Mr. Linky so we can visit you. HEATHER PRESSLEY: Your blog is set as private. E-mail me if you need help undoing this. We'd love to read what you post, but can't.

You all are such a blessing. I wish we could just have one big slumber party.

Oh, let's do it!!

Friday night at Lisa Whittle's house!!

Wear your PJ's and I'll bring the popcorn!

~Many Blessings~

Next week: Chapter 4: Ms. Happiness. Oh boy...


Cindy said...

I'll be there ~ let's see ~ I'll bring the bonbon's.

Great post Leila. I am praying for your family.

Lisa said...

hee hee -- Wouldn't that be fun? :) After these last three chapters, we sure would have a lot to talk about!!!

You "got it", Lelia. hit the nail on the head with this post. Loved it. Thank you for so beautifully reinforcing the message in this and every chapter. You are a great facilitator of a study -- one of the things I really like that you do is to apply what the book is talking about to your own life so women can relate. That is a very effective way to be a Bible Study leader, and I love that God gave you that special gift for such a time and study as this! What a neat ministry you have.

And...I got your voicemail. I am so sorry I have been out of pocket today, but I have been nursing my sick little Shae back to health. It's been quite a day. Not only did she stay home from school, vomiting and with fever, but I had to take her with me to go and give a deposition for a piece of land we own that is right in between two landowners who are suing each other! It's been a crazy day, needless to say.

Oh, I have my dukes up and ready to fight. God has a word for the women tomorrow night, our last night of BTE Bible Study, and Satan would just love for me to get sick so I can't show up and deliver it. Not gonna happen! Pray the sickness out with me, will ya? :)

Much love and GRACE to you tonight, Lelia! And did I mention I loved this post? :)
Lisa :)

Lisa said...

P.S. Oh, and I forgot to mention...Shae projectile vomited all over the lawyer's couch! How's THAT for discernment?! :) hee hee


Paula (SweetPea) said...

Well, as always you nailed it with this post. I just love your humor. The beginning pieces about Ms. Perfection balling in the bathroom, Ms. Confidence at the door reassuring, and Ms. Spirituality praying. That was a hoot.

You have such a well rounded character. Even in the midst of the unknown in your family and finances you still are resiliant.

I agree with everything Lisa said you know how to apply and lead.

I took my post in a seeminly different direction. For whatever reason, I did better this time just sharing many of my answers to the questions. It seems there is where my juices get to flowing.

Are you sure about the four month gap in disability payment. It seems one of your readers who worked in that area believed different. I'm not doubting you as I'm sure you've checked and double checked but I'm just hoping in my physical realm that someone misinformed you. Nevertheless, God WILL provide.

There is a lady in my church is has nine kids. I believe seven of them are adopted. Her husband was/is a pastor. He has been out of work since March. She stays at home. So, their income I believe has been only church support. I don't know if they are getting any type of unemployment. I don't know all the details except God is providing for TEN people. He will provide for you!

I love ya, girlfriend.

Love and prayers,

Anonymous said...

Oh Lelia,
I am praying for you and yours...

thank you so much for being so open about what is going on.

And would I LOVE a slumber party... I haven't had one of those in YEARS!!! count me in!

As far as admitting my vulerabilities to others, well, I have found it is getting easier adn easier. It used to be so hard. As I wrote in my post, sometimes people don't take me at face value when I am being honest. But then again, I have found a small group of people that I am able to be honest with... and vulnerable with.

As far as God, why would it be so hard to admit stuff to Him? He knows it all already. Yet, sometimes it is harder to be honest with Him. Maybe it is because I have to figure out and then admit what is really going on inside. I have to acknowledge it to myself before I can talk to God about. Once I do talk to Him, it is better, because no one else can get me through anything but Him. It always gets better once I talk to Him. Hmmm, you think???

Anyway... I felt like my post was all over the place... my comment here and my post at my site. but it all tied in with my counseling yesterday.
Maybe that will be a post in and of itself...
Love you,

Amy L Brooke said...


Thanks for sharing and being so vulnerable. I am praying for Alyssa and for you to have wisdom and divine guidance.

Jill said...

Thanks for sharing Lelia, and I am still praying. What a wonderful chapter once again - just stay confident in Him and trust!

HIS Daughter said...


I'm praying for GOD'S strength to persevere and to endure to fall all over you as you "stand". After doing all else - you "stand firmly".

Satan would love nothing better than to take you out of there to a place of freedom from responsibilities. I know because he took me 5 years ago.

At first the trip looks freeing - riding in a convertible with the top down. It's not long before you realize that you aren't driving any longer and the brakes aren't working.

I'm praying for you! GOD, give her your strength to stand for that family.


Liz said...

Continued prayers for your family. You are such an encouragement to God's strength. Thank you for your continued commitment to this study as you walk through this...and your being so REAL with us...God's timing is never off!
I am in on the slumber party! Fun stuff!
To answer the question -
Is it hard for me to admit vulnerability to others? You bet. Some of them are kind of easy at times and with certain people. But some of them make my skin get hot, my palms get shaky and wet, and I really, really don't want others to know. Why? Because I am afraid. Afraid they will reject me. Afraid they will hurt me. Sometimes they will. But most of the time, they won't. And am I afraid to admit them to God? Hilariously, yes! Even though I know He knows, I am afraid that if I admit my vulnerabilities, He will ask me to change...sometimes that is scary, sometimes that is difficult, and sometimes I just want to stay comfortably where I am.
Love and prayers,

rusty'swife said...


Isn't God good, that our lives and studies seem to just walk hand in hand.

If you don't mind, can the slumber party wait till after the first of the year? I am running short on days off, and I want plenty of time to love on you and all these other wonderful ladies..5 weeks might just be enough..think Gene would give up the basement for that long?

I am praying that Jesus will take all the seemingly ugly stuff you are laying at His feet, plant it, water it, and grow a garden that will minister to others.


HisPrincess said...

I love your transparency, I love your insights, I love the way you relate your life and mine to living in God's image.

What a blessing you are. You ARE a woman of strength.

We are all here praying for you.

Paula said...

Hi Lelia,

A wonderful post, as usual, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. I've just popped in to say that I will be posting in the next couple of days, so please don't be alarmed if you don't see me on Mr Linky yet.

Check out my page for the goss. No dramas, and all is good.

Love you, Paula :-0 xo

Anonymous said...

You seem to have what it takes to acheive anything. You know in what direction you need to go, what path to take when there is a split. Ms. Confidence could be bad for us, but you, you are Ms. Confidence in our Father-you have placed your confidence in Him for the healings needed in you family. Keep praying.

I want to leave you with a message that was on a local church's sign:
"He who kneels before God, can stand before anyone."

God Bless you and Your family

Anonymous said...

I have my jammies at the ready, I just need the time and ticket and a stand-in on the home front. But if I manage all that (!!!) count me in for the sleepover. Oh, wouldn't that be a blast!!!

You are such a delight and such a mighty witness and I just want you to know that I'm grateful for the time you take to share with us.

This chapter has moved a little mountain in me. All I can say is "thank you". I truly feel such gratitude that the prayer I prayed a few months ago about making some changes in me has been answered in the neatest of ways through this Bible study and because of the willingness of the participants to share...

Are you close to posting more pictures of your sweet Grand Baby??? I delight in seeing her dear little face...

Have a beautiful day.

Jenny said...

Great post and I'm not even reading the book!


Karen said...


My prayers are with you and your family! And I am glad that you are finding refuge in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10! I also was moved by The Message translation of verse 10: "Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become."

And like you, I was struck by the poem Lisa included in this chapter that compared "a strong woman and a woman of strength." I borrowed it and used it as a devotion for the Bible Study I am involved in at my church.

I don't have a blog and so I don't post my thoughts on Mr. Linky, but this chapter spoke to me a lot. I am Ms. Confident a lot! I am not "fuzzy" and I am a type A personality. It is hard for me to need anyone, or to confess my vulnerabilities. I am too self-sufficient. I even have a hard time confessing my vulnerabilities to God. I really have to be still and let the insecurities and hurts flow from my heart when I pray. If I pray too much from my mind, I have all kinds of justifications for my feelings, and also I partition them into "things I can take care of myself" and things I might need some help on, but if help doesn't come, I'll figure out a way to deal with it. Not too long ago, God taught me a good lesson by allowing me to go through some very tough times; to see my weaknesses, and to turn to Him for help.

Now I am also carrying around 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, as well as Psalm 121: " 1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore."

Be blessed,

- Karen

Darlene said...

Lelia, this was a wonderful post. To be strong is to surrender... God's crazy but beautiful logic. Thanks for reminding me...


Stacy said...

What a great post. Maybe I need to get this book! I am so blessed each time I stop by. Yes, I often don't like others to see my weaknesses for fear of rejection. My own self centered insecurities rear their head full force..but what I have learned over the years is that none of us are Mrs. Perfect and when we let the walls fall down and we admit our selfish motives, desires and put down the flesh...then God is magnified in and through our whole being. We aren't plastic people walking through this world looking holy and spiritual, we are real! We are works in progress running toward the goal of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. But ohh, if I could just let go of the insecurities once and for all! Lord help me!

Leebird said...

Hi Lelia,

When I read the chapter and saw that same verse you mentioned in your blog, I just figured you had read it in the sweet of the Lord to give you reinforcement of what He is teaching you in your own quiet time. I love it when He does that!

Regarding the challenge question:

I want to take care of everyone else, so it's hard for me to admit that I need help. I have a handful of people who really know me, but most people just see the smiling, encouraging, God is good, Lee. God is breaking down those walls though. Thanks so much for what you are doing in my life by hosting this study. Love, Lee

Carol said...

Lelia, I'm praying for your family. Thank you for your continued blessing of leading us in this study. You have such a gift, appreciate so much how you are sharing how God is holding on to you and you are holding onto God through this time.

As for me God has been teaching me to be vulnarable. He brings me to a place where I have to be now, so that I can learn to lean on Him. I wrote about it more in my blog, but I believe that's a big part of why God lead me to this study.

Count me in on the sleep over, I'm sure I could get a cheap ticket. Wouldn't that be a blast. A Yes To God Women's Retreat! Woo Hoo!.

Love ya,

Paula said...

Finally, she posts! Yah! I thought it was going to take a couple more days to get my head together, but I had a good sleep last night and it's all good now.

So, in answer to the Challenge Questions, here is what I jotted down:

It is hard to admit my vulnerabilities with some things I suppose. I am usually very open about the fact that my bravado is an attempt to cover up my insecurity underneath. I'm a mixed bag in the confidence stakes. I don't always feel confident, but I am in alot of ways without realising it (as others tell me). I face the fear and do it anyway...with most things. I don't like to admit my vulnerabilities as a mother to God, although I know He sees it, as I feel like a failure if I do.

There goes...hehe. It's been an interesting couple of days contemplating my post while struggling with an underfunctioning brain! Thankfully I knew it was only temporary.

Love ya, Paula :-)

Amy said...

Sometimes it is hard to admit my vulnerabilities to others. It's not hard for me to admit them to God, because He already knows anyway, and He doesn't judge me. He just loves me. But "others" can be so harsh and judgmental that it is hard to always come "clean" with how I really feel about something.

Most of the time, I have found, that the people who judge me, are the people who have NEVER been in the situation that I may be struggling in at the time. Whereas, people who have been (or are in) in that same situation show compassion and love, because they truly know how I feel at the time.

So, in so many ways, it's a blessing to go through difficult times with God, because you are so much better able and equipped to love others the way God loves us, amen? ;)

Great post again, Lelia!
God shines through you.


Kristen Myers said...

Lelia, I found your blog through Lisa Whittle's link. Thank you so much for being so willing to facilitate such a heart-challenging Bible study. Along with Lisa's stories, your willingness to expose your own challenges in this makes me know I am not alone.

I am so grateful that God is working through you. He will do the same through your daughter too.

Thank you again.

AnooCre8ion said...

Lelia, I don't think God could have chosen anyone more appropriate at this present time to facilitate this study. He knew exactly where you and your family would be at this time in your life and you know what, in His wisdom, He planned on using your situation to help the many women who would sign up for this study.

Thank you for being vulnerable and transparent.

It's been a hard walk throughout my life to show that side of me. I will try to post my thoughts on my blog since I don't want to take up any more time here.


Shabby Olde Potting Shed said...

Hey Lelia,
Sorry I'm late ... in my case Friday's the new Tuesday and Brown's my new black.
Your YES TO GOD... Tuesdays' are ... a God send.... and I just want to thank you. I know you have alot your dealing with. God is with you and will work everything out for good. Honestly, I can only imagine all the many many people that you sharing about all of this on your blog ... is helping. I don't think you can imagine how your transparency about it... is helping others. One day you will see when you get to the New Jerusalem.
I for one, stand in faith with you but also, thank you. You are an incredible blessing to me.
Love lea

Runner Mom said...

Hey, Lelia!
Your post was great. I think that Vickie said it well with saying that God knew where and what would be happening in your life during this study. His timing and ways are perfect. Thank you again for hosting this, sweet friend!

Praying for your family.