Family Camp was such a refreshing weekend and I can hardly wait to share it with you starting tomorrow. It was really hard to leave this...
If this is your first visit, we are discussing the book "What Happens When Women Walk in Faith" by our dear friend, Lysa TerKeurst every Tuesday right here. A time of growing closer to God by reading this incredible book and Bible study and then sharing what God has shown us through it.
We have 2 more weeks of this study and then on September 23rd we'll be starting our new one by my dear friend, Lisa Whittle called "Behind Those Eyes". If you want to read more then please click here. I really believe that God is just lining up the studies He wants us to do. So as we wrap up this current in a few weeks may we approach "Behind Those Eyes" with much anticipation of Jesus leading us into a new place with Him. A place we didn't even know existed!
Okay...keep in mind that anything in blue is a quote from the book.
CHAPTER 16: God's Portion, Position and Promise
Many of you know the life we've had as of late with our daughter Alyssa, who is the teen mom of our bundle of sweetness, Amiyah Elizabeth. I was woke up this morning with text messages from her that were very unpleasant. My heart aches for her because the rebellion within her has just squeezed out any beat of her heart that once thumped for her Savior.
At least that's what I see. God may see differently since he can see inside her heart, but right now this mother hurts for her "mini me" that just refuses to get it.
With being out of town this weekend I didn't get to read my two chapters until this morning, after the not so nice text messages. She wasn't being mean, she is just really frustrated right now and was venting. I feel her pain, but I need to trust God in this. All of this.
With that being my choice after getting Alivia off to school, I sat down to read my chapters. I just have to say, our God...He is so good! I say this because this first part of this chapter was exactly what I'm going through.
Where have I gone wrong as a mother?
This question has pounced on my thoughts and caused many tears to flow in the last few months more than I can count. Just this weekend though I re-released Alyssa to her Savior because emotionally and physically I just can't take it anymore. He can though.
It was a weekend of peace. Peace I hadn't felt in a long while. Actually, I can't re-count if I've ever felt this way before. I'm not sure if I cause the angels to drop their head in sadness or shake it in frustration when they see me making my way back up to the cross to take my daughter back with the false confidence that I can handle this girl on my own. So, no more...I give her back to God and just trust. He does not need my assistance. As Lysa shared with much wisdom about herself and her own daughter...
She is a sinner. She is infected with the same sin nature the rest of God's children are infected with---myself included. Without God, she would be left to her own bad decisions and faulty thinking. But with God, she has hope for a different kind of life.
My girl who has gone astray, I am praying will eventually find herself completely in awe of Him like she did back in '99. The pages of a journal she kept are splashed with the words God is cool all over it. I pray that sooner than later her hardened heart will soften up a bit and realize just how cool He is and the desire she once had for Him will be refreshed. Doesn't mean she'll stop sinning. Lord knows, I haven't, but it means she'll have hope for a different life.
Lysa walks us through the life of the children of Israel. Oh, how many of us have been there? The first glimpse she gives us is God's Portion. How many of us have experienced the portion part of this chapter where we are praising God for His provision and then moments later complaining that it's not enough or not what we want? I especially loved this paragraph because I can really relate: Though they didn't deserve His provision, God still had mercy on them and provided. The way He provided required them to pursue a relationship with Him on a daily basis, receiving their portion every day.
I loved the end of that: The WAY He provided required them...Oh thank God He is full of mercy and that His ways are not our ways!
Then Lysa moves us to God's Position in our lives. Bottom line is: He wants to be above everything and everybody in our life. Numero uno. Head Honcho. Above all. First Place.
Then our last part of this chapter Lysa talked about God's Promise. It is so good to know that Lysa can also relate to getting tired of constant battles in her life. Amen sista! Seems like when one thing get straightened out, it seems there is something else crooked and it sometimes just wears me down.
God is interested in my character, not my comfort.
Unfortunately I know this to be true. This last year with our teen mom has been a real shaping of character. Even at family camp this weekend, I"ll be honest with you, it was hard to share with strangers that my teenager just had a baby. It's just not a comfortable phrase to say out loud. Now hear me out here, I am not ashamed of my daughter or my grandbaby, but it is uncomfortable because it's not natural, it's not the plan of God. This is where God has re-shaped my character and not my level of comfort. I have, along with my husband, son, parents, sister and many friends, including you, chosen to shower this child with grace instead of shame. When the sinner inside of me wants to cuss this girl out for her choices I have to choose God's way.
Yes I'm uncomfortable...so what! The moments I collapse into my Savior's arms in uncomfortable situations is where my true comfort can be found. THIS. IS. Worth it!
God allows the heating and pounding, the abrasive rubs and polishing in my life for a reason. They are purifying and smoothing me so I will reflect Him.
HALLELUJAH!! Thank you sweet Jesus! Oh how cleansing is just the thought of Him seeing Himself in ME??? Only because of having Him in my life is that possible!
PHASE 5: RESURRECTION
CHAPTER 17: God's Dream, God's Way
This chapter Lysa teaches us that we have to experience death before we can experience this next phase of resurrection.
God's dream for us must come to life God's way.
Right now Alyssa wants the car back that we took the keys to in June because of her behavior. Her Dad is not budging and so her frustration level is very high. I really needed to read this part of the chapter this morning as I find myself getting very upset with my husband. Lysa shared about a child throwing a tantrum in Barnes & Noble over wanting something. "I want it! I want it now! I want it, I want it, I want it!"
That is so similiar to the text messages I was woken up to this morning after Gene told Alyssa "no" to her question of "Do I get my car back?" This next part really helped me ask God to forgive me for targeting Gene with my fire lit arrows.
If that mom gives in and lets the child have whatever she wants right now, she'll stop screaming, but she'll never appreciate what she's been given. If, however, this mom perseveres, the child stands to learn some very valuable lessons.
It would be so easy for me to rescue my rebellious teen mom right now, but she would remain in her Egypt. As hard as it is , I have to trust Jesus enough to let her go and let her Savior capture her heart. If I continue to get in His way, her time in her desert will be prolonged.
God could take the people out of Egypt, but He had to discipline the Egypt out of them.
The last part I found to be very touched by is in the Bible study part of the book. Lysa talked of waiting on God and how when we want action it's not easy to wait. Here are 10 tips she gave during the waiting section of life's clock:
I will be putting these on a note card and permanently filing them into my mind under "What to do while waiting".
Please leave a comment letting us know what touched you in these chapters and if you have more to share on your own blog, please leave the link to your blog under Mr. Linky. God bless you!
Chapters 18 & 19 will be next week and don't forget to get your copy of "Behind Those Eyes" by Lisa Whittle for the next Yes to God study beginning Tuesday, September 23rd and don't forget to invite a friend!
16 comments:
Hello, my friend, and welcome home. I'm sorry you had a difficult morning, but my, did He speak to you, or what? Your post today just touched my heart at how He reassures His children. I'm still praying for you and your precious family. I think you're pretty gutsy, you know that? You are a strong woman, and I am proud of you.
Love,
Laura
Enjoyed reading your words and the reminders of His reassurance. We've had a few tough days around here, but I'm holding onto the words from Lysa's last chapter - God isn't surprised by death. I hope to catch up with the reading soon.
We walk a similar line you and I. I have a rebellious teen who I give in to way too often. I know when I've made the wrong decision because I feel sick.
I pray the Lord can make me stronger to guide my daughter with love and wisdom.
Lelia:
Thank you again for sharing your struggle with your daughter. I am so sorry that she has turned away. That seems to be the enemy's tactic when God has called the parents. Hold firm girl. God's in control. It will go His way in His time.
I've posted those things that touched me on my blog. I will say though that I too was drawn to the 'waiting" list. That is awesome!
That is lots of good stuff, friend. I really needed to hear this. I so appreciate you sharing how God is working in your heart during these tough times.
Can't wait to hear more about your time at family camp. I'm so glad it was a refreshing time.
So glad you had a good, refreshing time at camp. Just so wonderful to read your post tonight. The words "Let go. Let God" keep repeating in my head. I'm going to write out that list too - it's a good one... Hey, I prayed for rain today - it's just been so dry for too long, and now I'm listening to rain bucketting down on my old tin roof... Love it! Love God!... Much love to you!
It's hard...He is able..
((HUGS)) Sita
I can't help but think of Jonah as we put these two chapters under our belts from Lysa's book.
God told Jonah, just like He tells us, but are we willing to let go and obey? Sometimes it is as simple as letting go...yet that letting go is the hardest of them all, because we do think, MYSELF INCLUDED, if I just....but N-O, get my hands off, so God can!
Love,
Yolanda
I so know your pain. I have shared mine a little more friend in my blog response to these chapters.
Thank you for the prayers!!
In His Graces~Pamela
Lelia, thank you so much for all the wonderful comments you left on my posts. But thanks especially for the prayers, I can sense them and know I need them. Blessings and my prayers to you in your struggles as well. Thanks, Jill
Hi Lelia,
I printed off that list of ten things to do while waiting from Laura's blog, and I posted it on my refrigerator. I need the constant visual reminder, much like the plastic frogs that I placed around my home to constantly remind me to "Fully Rely on God." :)
Following God and trusting God are so difficult at times. I loved when you talked about the constant battles that we face, like it seems when one thing gets straightened out, something else is crooked.......As you know, humor is how I deal with everything....if I did not have humor, I would be in the corner crying and sucking my thumb. Obviously, laughing is more fun, so I "try" to focus on the humor of the situation...Sometimes I'm successful, and sometimes I'm not. But anyway, your statement reminded me of a quote from one of my favorite "humor" books, "Bridget Jones' Diary." Here is what she says about her life....
"It is a truth universally acknowledged that as soon as one part of your life starts looking up, another falls to pieces." Helen Fielding, "Bridget Jones Diary" ;)
God Bless,
Amy:)
Lelia~
I just found your blog (from Aroma of Joy) and have really enjoyed reading through parts of it. I appreciate your honesty and just being real about your struggles and victories.
I saw the book "Behind Those Eyes" several weeks ago at the bookstore. Sometimes I'm just drawn to a book, especially when it has a pretty cover! Yes I do judge a book by it's cover:) Anyway, I didn't buy it then, but now I am. I've never done a bible study through a blog but sounds interesting and fun. I may be joining you in this study!
Lelia---hey,girlfriend! I am glad that you experienced that "peace that surpasses all understanding" at camp last weekend. I hear your struggles in your post and bless your heart for sharing them with us. Your post can truly bless others walking this same path. I'll continue to pray for you and your precious family.
Love ya,
Susan
Lelia,
I love your heart.... it is so beautiful....
Thank you for stopping by to check on my girl.
Yep, we heard from her. She's safe and sound in India. She and the family she is staying with will be traveling back to the town they are in in the days ahead. There's been some unrest there, though there has not been any danger to Americans. It's a territory issue. So sometimes I wonder how it will be when they get back and are there to pack up their things and head back to the US. For now they are in a different area and doing really well.
Thanks for asking!
Hugs,
Julie
Thank you so much for your comment today on my blog--I have been touched by so many people through blogging--including you! Thank you.
Sarah
Lelia! Thank you for your kind comment on our Sisters of Faith Blog. What a blessing it was to read something from Wanda's post!
I also have this book--got it when I went to the INCREDIBLE She Speaks in NC this year! I think I also have the one by Lysa Terkeurst as well (I bought several books----but haven't read them all yet!)
You blessed me today. Thanks so much! I absolutely have enjoyed my visit here!
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