Whole Trust

Do I REALLY trust God or is it just what the Christian girl in me is supposed to say? I mean, I give Him issues in my life, but then if they aren't resolved in my time zone then I snatch them back like a toddler grabs a toy from her playmate.

I wonder if He gets as tired of me as I do of trying to do life my way. This past weekend most of my family and I went to family camp. We had a beautiful and refreshing weekend together.

Ready for the water...

Aaron taking Alivia on her 1st canoe ride...

Aaron saw a big mouth bass in the water and was determined to catch him...

Closer look of his pride on a hook...

Forget being led around on a pony at the zoo...

I have a few more pictures to share with you later. It truly was an incredible weekend and we can't wait to go again. One thing that I really learned this weekend is that I have to trust God. Period. He is not interested in my lukewarm trust, He wants my trust in Him to be hot.

I've talked alot of our teen mom because I've never walked this road before and so I have shared this journey of the unknown with you. I'm so glad I did because your words and prayers are so encouraging. So why do I get anxious at times and when I think others have God distracted run and pick up what I've once placed in faith at the foot of the cross?

Do I not think He's bigger than what is before me? Do I not think He can handle it or that He knows what He's doing? Do I not think He knows His creation more than I know her? When I think I know her better because I've had her for 18 years, that's when He reminds me that He's known her before she was in my womb. He had thoughts of her life dancing before Him back in the days of Moses. So what is my problem?

I want to fix it. To the outsider my family looks messed up, so why would any mother in her right mind want what I have? If this is what serving Jesus will bring a family, why on earth would they want to join this eternal family? That's what the flesh in me cries out, but then as the tears flow and the grief hits the bottom of my heart, this lover of Jesus rises up and kneels before her Savior and begs for His help.

In my heart I know this rebel child of mine does not have Him bawling His eyes out as He prepares the table for me to sit at in the presence of my enemies when I seek Him. He can see into her heart closer than that telescope NASA has in space can see the earth. His feathers are not ruffled because she is choosing to live life her way and forget she's ever known Him. Her Father, the One who formed this child from head to toe knows her better than I will ever be able to know her. He already knows the day that she is going to be running back to Him asking Him to forgive her. He knows her and so to Him I give her back.

This past weekend God really let me know....you either trust Me or you don't. I do. I will. I have to. Not just with Alyssa, but with Aaron, Alivia, Amiyah, my marriage, our finances, my writing desires, this blog. Even my husband's back that isn't healing correctly from his April surgery. Everything has to be trusted to HIM, not Lelia Chealey. She's a mess maker, He's the mess' Maker. So last weekend I gave back to the true parent of these children. I will be guided by Him. I will trust what He tells me. I will listen and not take back what isn't mine.

May I encourage you today that WHATEVER you are not giving to God, whether it is your children, your hurts, your desires, your finances, your job, your singleness, your past choices and mistakes...whatever is in your life that you are still holding on to, give it up. Give it up to the God that wants to have your complete heart and trust.

Leaving camp last week this is what I saw...

In His hands...there's no other way.

Have a blessed weekend!

Love you,