Friday, September 5, 2008

Whole Trust

Do I REALLY trust God or is it just what the Christian girl in me is supposed to say? I mean, I give Him issues in my life, but then if they aren't resolved in my time zone then I snatch them back like a toddler grabs a toy from her playmate.

I wonder if He gets as tired of me as I do of trying to do life my way. This past weekend most of my family and I went to family camp. We had a beautiful and refreshing weekend together.

Ready for the water...

Aaron taking Alivia on her 1st canoe ride...

Aaron saw a big mouth bass in the water and was determined to catch him...

Closer look of his pride on a hook...

Forget being led around on a pony at the zoo...

I have a few more pictures to share with you later. It truly was an incredible weekend and we can't wait to go again. One thing that I really learned this weekend is that I have to trust God. Period. He is not interested in my lukewarm trust, He wants my trust in Him to be hot.

I've talked alot of our teen mom because I've never walked this road before and so I have shared this journey of the unknown with you. I'm so glad I did because your words and prayers are so encouraging. So why do I get anxious at times and when I think others have God distracted run and pick up what I've once placed in faith at the foot of the cross?

Do I not think He's bigger than what is before me? Do I not think He can handle it or that He knows what He's doing? Do I not think He knows His creation more than I know her? When I think I know her better because I've had her for 18 years, that's when He reminds me that He's known her before she was in my womb. He had thoughts of her life dancing before Him back in the days of Moses. So what is my problem?

I want to fix it. To the outsider my family looks messed up, so why would any mother in her right mind want what I have? If this is what serving Jesus will bring a family, why on earth would they want to join this eternal family? That's what the flesh in me cries out, but then as the tears flow and the grief hits the bottom of my heart, this lover of Jesus rises up and kneels before her Savior and begs for His help.

In my heart I know this rebel child of mine does not have Him bawling His eyes out as He prepares the table for me to sit at in the presence of my enemies when I seek Him. He can see into her heart closer than that telescope NASA has in space can see the earth. His feathers are not ruffled because she is choosing to live life her way and forget she's ever known Him. Her Father, the One who formed this child from head to toe knows her better than I will ever be able to know her. He already knows the day that she is going to be running back to Him asking Him to forgive her. He knows her and so to Him I give her back.

This past weekend God really let me either trust Me or you don't. I do. I will. I have to. Not just with Alyssa, but with Aaron, Alivia, Amiyah, my marriage, our finances, my writing desires, this blog. Even my husband's back that isn't healing correctly from his April surgery. Everything has to be trusted to HIM, not Lelia Chealey. She's a mess maker, He's the mess' Maker. So last weekend I gave back to the true parent of these children. I will be guided by Him. I will trust what He tells me. I will listen and not take back what isn't mine.

May I encourage you today that WHATEVER you are not giving to God, whether it is your children, your hurts, your desires, your finances, your job, your singleness, your past choices and mistakes...whatever is in your life that you are still holding on to, give it up. Give it up to the God that wants to have your complete heart and trust.

Leaving camp last week this is what I saw...

In His hands...there's no other way.

Have a blessed weekend!

Love you,


Lisa said...

This post rocked my socks off! Girl, there's some serious truth in these words. Loved it and needed it. Good, good stuff.

God is using you, sister! I love to get to watch it happen.
Lisa :)

tiggerdaisy said...


This is such a great post! Your raw honesty is evident...that's what I love about you! :)

Prayers and blessings,

p.s. I need to go fishing! I want a big mouth bass like Aaron's!

Jill said...

I could relate to so many of the questions you were asking and yes, we do need to trust. And I need to remember it's not about my terms, but His, not my desires, His, not my plans, but His. I appreciate reading the words from your heart and they encourage me, remind me others struggle too, but God provides a Way, along with peace and comfort for the journey. Blessings to you, Jill

Christy said...


You have shared some deep truths here. Rest in knowing who God is. Keep believing Him! I'm so thankful that He meets us where we are. He knows our struggles, fears, and disappointments as well as our successes and victories. We can trust Him with everything. He is good and He is faithful, and His love is steadfast.

I am going to be a part of the study that begins on the 23rd. I'm really looking forward to getting to know you better through your blog as well as how God is going to use this study in my life.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Regina said...

I found your blog from LynnSC "Somewhere in the Middle".

I really needed to hear what you had to say about trusting Him.

Thanks for sharing.

mom said...

I wish I would have done this when you were young..loved the post keep trusting in Him mom

nothingcanseparateme said...

It looks like family camp was GREAT fun!! My Jordan & your Aaron would get along great--he loves to fish too!!!

This post was perfect for me!! My Lord must get exhausted watching me try to "fix" my children. I "give" them back to Him over and over and over again. It is a constant battle within--I am so glad that he is patient with us and our children.

Can't wait to see how he works these kiddos out for his kingdom!!

love ya!

***your Mom's comment above made me sniffle:)

Runner Mom said...

Hey, girl! I, too, appreciate your openness in these posts. I think I've said that before. But we grow right along with you! I want to fix it all myslf as well. I need to let go of some stuff and simply trust Him. But I wonder is it important enough to bother Him with it? That's another struggle. I know that I have to be obedient and trust Him in my faith walk, but I KNOW He has more important things to attend to! Anyway...just stuff on my heart today! Have a wonderful weekend, sweetie!

***Just ship Aaron over here for a while--he can hang with my boys and fish to his heart's content:).

Love ya,

Angie said...

What an amazing post! I sit here feeling what the LORD is speaking into my own soul.
I will be back here!

Paula said...

Wow! Amazing! Thank you for an awesome post!

We, as humans, are so caught up in how it feels to us and how it appears on the outside, as opposed to how it actually is as far as God is concerned. He will never let us down, despite what is going on at the time, but we certainly let Him down in our thinking and lukewarm trust.

I love how He uses us, the cracked pots of the world, to show how, despite all the craziness of our lives, that He is the Master, He is the Almighty, and He has it all under control.

Thank you again my friend! Just awesome! Paula :-)

LynnSC said...

Lelia, It sounds like you had a great time with your family and with God. He is so amazingly patient with us... always wanting what is best for us. His shoulders are so much stronger than ours. We are the ones worn out by our continual taking things back. I am learning to trust Him right along with you.

I love your honesty and your heart.

Can't wait for our new study. I received my book yesterday... and I had to force myself to put it down.

Julie said...

Sure is hard to trust... well at least it is for me...

Thanks for sharing your heart.


Mindy said...

Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting on my "poo" story! Your family is lovely and I can tell by your writing and stories that I'll be back here!

Anita said...

I have been doing a lot of praying and putting everything that has been placed in my life to care for back into the hands of God--where it belongs in the first place. I must put my trust in him and not myself--that is when the problems really start.
Thank you for just reinforcing what deep down I already knew.

valerie said...

I'm so glad y'all had a good time at camp. I love the pictures. You have the cutest kids!
I am reminded often to just trust God. It's strange how I can trust Him with certain things and then there are things that I just keep worrying about. It's then that I pray hard and get in the Word.
I will keep praying for your daughter. I know it's tough. Just keep pouring your heart out to our huge God. He's got a plan.
Ps. 139 is a great passage that I was just reading a couple of days ago.
Love ya,

Amy L Brooke said...

Looks very fun!

How is Amiyah?

Amy said...

Lelia, that was awesome....I need that sign in my yard!:)

Thank you for sharing your heart so openly....God will honor your faithfulness every step of the way.

I'm sorry to hear about your husband's back...I understand that all too well, I am afraid. I will pray for him. It is so frustrating to go through so much physically and emotionally, only to find yourself still hurting.

We are still holding on to hope that the stretches that Shannon has to do to me twice a day will fix my problem since we have a few more weeks to go for the doctor's prescribe "2" months period.

Please keep me posted on your husband. I will be praying for you and your family.

God Bless,

AnooCre8ion said...

I have just come from spending a long time down on my knees bawling before God, asking Him to forgive me for not giving everything over to Him. He has been so gentle and patient with me. My heart has felt so heavy and I had to repent because I was holding on to the heaviness instead of giving it to Him.

I cleaned myself up and decided to come online, followed your link from TSMS now to find myself crying all over again.

It's a privilege to give everything in prayer to God. There's no one who can ever handle it like He does.

Praying for you.


Carol said...

That was great! Still praying for you!