Monday, March 24, 2008

What IF I say YES?

The day I walked down the aisle to marry my best friend was so incredible. Even though we had done life totally opposite of God's plan for us, it was when we re-dedicated our lives to Christ that we began to grow individually and as a couple. Young and in love life together seemed beyond what we deserved.

So why didn't I see what was coming? How could this seemingly perfect marriage to my best friend on earth be dissolving right in front of me? More importantly, how could I not care?

Then five years ago I asked Gene a question that I knew the answer would be "no" to. He surprised me and said, "Sure, I'll go." I had asked him if we could attend the Family Life Weekend to Remember marriage conference. We went and we learned so much that weekend. For the first time in our marriage I felt some hope. For the next few years we made attending the conference our annual get away. We were actually applying things we learned and our marriage was feeling connected again.

Then one morning everything for me changed for even better as my walk with God took a path I had never walked before. The two older kids were at school, the youngest was asleep and Gene was at work. I went to our basement and put in an instrumental worship music, turned the lights off and began to praise God.

Even though things were looking good, there was still the reasons I had not shared with Gene of why I had emotionally checked myself out of our marriage 3 years before. What I had to tell him filled my heart with the intense fear of the possible answers to so many "what if" questions. I knew Satan wanted me to stay in the same place in my walk with God with all of my secrets. I had confessed to God and was forgiven, but felt I really needed to come clean with Gene. But at what cost? My family, my marriage, respect from others? I had so much to lose and yet I knew because God had put it on my heart, that if I decided to say Yes to God, what I would gain in my relationship with God would outweigh any loss.

Alone in my basement, I knelt and eventually ended up face down before my King. I remember raising up on my knees and with hands held high in worship, my face wet with tears as I said Yes. I remember telling Him out loud, that no matter what happened when I told Gene, even if I lost my him and our kids, I was going to be okay because I'd still have Him...God.

Please don't waste your time trying to figure out what I did or let your imagination run wild. God hasn't given me the okay to share it in this format yet and really, my sin rap sheet is not important. What God did in my life resulting in the Yes I gave Him that morning is what is important here.

Before I talked to Gene, Jesus had gone ahead of me and filled my husband's heart with much grace, forgiveness and love. By saying Yes to my Savior, I showed Him that I believed He was bigger than my circumstance. I took my mind off the "what ifs" and focused completely on God and He rewarded the obedience of my heart in a huge way.

Saying Yes to God saved my marriage and my life. So often I say "no" and I can't imagine what I've missed out on. I have no idea what you have in front of you or behind you. I just want to encourage you to say YES to God today.

The day my husband proposed to me is one I'll never forget as I said yes as he slipped the ring on my finger. As much as I love that day, it can't even come close to how it is when I say yes to God!

Join me and other women right here every Tuesday as I am hosting the Blog Bible study of the incredible book, "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God?" by Lysa TerKeurst!

Lysa has written this incredible guide to learning how to be a woman that says yes to God all of the time.

It starts here tomorrow, Tuesday March 25th. Even if you don't have the book, join us and see what God is doing in the lives of different women around the country and even in Canada as we will have the opportunity to link their blog so you can read their story!

Get more details of the study here !


1 more thing...

Spring Giveaway!

Leave a comment here for a chance to win a copy of Lysa's book!

I will announce the winner on Thursday!

Looking forward tomorrow to discussing chapter 1 of the book and also the short Bible study at the end of the chapter!

~Many Blessings~



valerie said...

That is a beautiful testimony of delighting in the Lord. When He is what matters most, when we truly delight to do His will....and say "yes" He will give us the desires of our heart.
I just got back Fri. night from my trip and haven't had a chance to get the book yet, but I promise I will. I'll wait 'till after Thurs.
Maybe I'll be the winner! :)
It sounds like a great book that has really ministered to you and I think it's wonderful to have the Tues. share time.
We had a GREAT time in NYC. God's favor, protection and blessings were all over our trip. I'm blogging about it a day at a time. You'll have to check it out.
Thanks for sharing this awesome testimony of what God did for you and Gene.
Love ya,

MaryLu said...

I think that many of us naturally try and figure out what your sin was so that we can compare with the sin in our own lives. "If God made her do that and it was "x" then my sin, being (blank) on God's scale is worse/better/whatever so I must have to do that too.
Not that God works that way in our hearts, but our hearts often work that way.
Thank you for sharing your story, that is a scary place to be, weighing the "what if's"; what if he rejects me, what if I lose everything we have worked so hard to build up to this point, what if he can't overcome my sin, what if he never wants to see me again, what if, what if, what if.
THat takes some very strong faith my friend, faith that some of us just might not have yet, but maybe through your stories shared and Lysa's book, lives will be changed.
I'm not adding my name to the list yet, I'll be out of town at a conference for a few weeks, but I'll try and sign up when I get back.
Have a blessed day my friend.

Rhonda said...

Hello Leila

What a beautiful testimony of saying Yes to God and putting your trust in Him. It is amazing how when we follow God's leading as you did by talking to your husband. God has already prepared the way by softening your husband's heart.

We usually can't see beyond our own circumstances. But God wouldn't ask us to do anything that we couldn't handle.

Bless you friend,


Sita Henderson said...

My blogging psalmist...overflowing with His splendour as you continue to display His redemptive power in your life..thank you for your obedience...making oneself vulnerable is not an easy task..the price of obedience...but the rewards--the word that other women need to hear to obey...bless you, sister..
Love, Sita

Emily said...

I had such a clear vision of you on the floor in your basement. Lovely writing. Lovely words. AMazing God.

And I already have the book as some really cool person sent it to me. :)

Yolanda said...


THIS WAS INCREDIBLE and confirmation as the Lord has put something along these very lines on my heart this morning. I will put out Higher Grounds later today. But I love how He speaks to our hearts!

Let's you and I and others say, YES TO GOD! Oh, what a ride! I'm ready for class tomorrow. :0)

Love YOU!!!

Becoming Me said...

What a beautiful post. Thank you so much for your brutal and heart rendering honesty. We all have such issues. I have not gotten my book yet. Things have gotten crazy here, my wonderful husband lost his job last week and we've been a bit in a frenzy. I may have to unsubscribe to be fair and then join back in later, but I will definitely be checking the posts.

Jenny said...

That was just great! It is scary when we say yes to God, because Satan has us tricked!

Great testimony and wise words, I like you have plenty of sin that I share openly but somethings are meant for just God and our husbands. That was wonderful wisdom and a great example to follow!

I can't wait to see you at the conference and have a voice to go with your writings!

Laura said...

Hello, friend! I have been there too, Dear One! We have to be so deliberate in our marriages, don't we? And sometimes, it's just easier to let it go where the wind takes it. But the Lord has other plans, when we say yes. He wants our relationships to be deep and fulfilling. My hubbie and I are still learning. But it's been the best education I could ever receive. Read my valentine's post, and I think you will recognize some of these very thoughts and emotions!

Kelley at Aroma of Joy said...

Wonderful testimony Lelia, you are ministering to so many hearts! I love coming here and getting to know more of your heart each time I do. I already feel such a sisterhood with you, I can't wait till we can get together!

BTW--I am keeping your daughter and grandbaby in my prayers. I know the end of a pregnancy can feel like an eternity!

Love, Kelley

Michelle said...

Wonderful heartfelt words to lead up to the Bible study. I am focusing on hearing what God is speaking to me, in order to say yes to his will. I am not sure if I can join the study, but I will be checking back to see the results. I would LOVE to win the book. Thanks for the opportunity.

Beloved MaMa said...

what an awesome study you are doing!!! thanks for leading and for sharing your heart!!!

Heather said...

I would love to join in the study. Right now, I can't track down the book locally, I may have to do it on the internet, as any store around here has to order it!!! But please enter me in the contest!
God Bless you!

Amy said...

I'm excited about this study, Leila!
Thanks so much for opening your heart to share it.
In Christ,

Amy said...

I'm excited about this study, Leila!
Thanks so much for opening your heart to share it.
In Christ,

Julie said...

I love the opennes of your heart and your desire to follow Papa no matter the cost. It's beautiful.

Thanks for stopping by my blog. Yes, you had commented on my posts that I brought over from my last blog. And no, I couldn't bring the comments with me. Well, maybe I could but I didn't know how.

Anyways thanks for stopping by the new one. I have you linked to mine so that I can find you. I always enjoy reading what you write and am waiting to hear about the new grandbaby!

Have a blessed day,