Jesus is what's Real

John 8:12

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said,
"I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

On my last post that I wrote, the comment I recieved most was "thank you for being so real". I have to tell you that before I share anything about me, whether it's on my blog, on the phone, or in person, I run it through my Redeemer first. A few years ago I sat in my bed listening to a teaching and literally cried my heart out to God.

2am and I was just hoping He was listening to my desperate cry for help as I asked Him to take every inch of my past, present and future. He was all ears and open arms as He took it all. He took every bit of it and promised me that what the enemy meant for evil, He would use for good. The enemy used my past to shame me for years and now I was handing it over to a Prince who promised to use if for His glory.

I was tired and just wanted a different tomorrow than what my yesterday had given me.

So when I share bits and pieces of my testimony, it's been pre-approved by my King. There are things that just don't need to be shared and honestly I hope He never asks me to share them. BUT if He does lay it on my heart to share something, like the embarrassing 4 tickets in one night story, so be it...To my God be the glory.

When my son Aaron was younger he played soccer. Basketball is now his passion, but soccer used to be his favorite sport to play. He was very quick and a great passer, dribbler, just an all around great player. Well, all of a sudden he'd get the ball and start going the opposite way of his team's goal. All the parents would be standing up and screaming hysterically, "You're going the wrong way Aaron!!". Even the coaches would be running the sidelines trying to divert him the other direction.

Ignoring our pleas, he'd get back far enough on the field, stand for a moment, look quickly at the field and just take off. By backing up some, he saw where all of his teammates were or where the open holes were and he'd go for it. He'd either pass it or take it in himself for the goal. His team always managed to score off of his plan of attack and the panic turned to cheering. He didn't do this every time, but after a few times of the parents freaking out, they caught on to what he was doing. Luckily, the other team didn't and would let him go the opposite way, sometimes laughing, but Aaron always had the last laugh right into their goalie.

Sometimes through God's refining of this mess of a life, I don't understand where He takes me. Sometimes I just want to yell at him, "you're going the wrong way God!" Especially when He asks me to revisit my past. Sometimes I just want to keep going forward and look like my life is all together. God steps back and looks for who needs to hear my testimony and He just goes for it and somehow He always scores as He is glorified.

I don't want to go down to the jail and sit with the inmates and share my story. To them I look perfect~their words, not mine, so who wants to blow that image of themselves? My testimony manages to blows it every time though as it shows that my God is the Perfect One, not me.

When I talk with the single mom's group at church, I don't want them to know that before I met Gene, I too was a young single mom with a baby girl. I want them to keep thinking I'm a woman who did things in the right order. Virgin bride, house, kids, dog, NOT single mom, met Gene, pregnant, house, married... My testimony shows them of God's grace and mercy and He gives them hope when they see I've been in the same boat.

Following God may not be easy, but I am one to tell you that this is worth every step of the way. I can't imagine where I'd be right now if I hadn't been heard the night I sat in my bed at 2 am and cried my heart out to my Savior.

Finally this hard headed girl was giving up what control she thought she had. I'm sure the angels broke out in "Oh Happy Day" as I reached the point of complete surrender of everything I could to my Redeemer. Poor Guy, I was just giving Him stuff right and left...here take this, oh and you can have this too.

I filled up His scarred hands with everything in me and He took it all.

Bottom line is I love Jesus and I will tell anyone who will listen of how He's taken this broken girl and put her back together piece by piece...for His glory.

Hallelujah!

Love ya,

Lelia