Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I'm so in Love

Today I'm going to a doctor appointment with my daughter Alyssa for an ultrasound. She's in her 8th month of pregnancy and thinks the doctor is going to change her due date from April 5th further into the month. Lord please no.
I'm so ready for her to have this baby.
The reason I don't want the due date changed is because I'm already crazy in love with this little girl. The new love of my life is the same baby I didn't want my daughter to be pregnant with last August. Now I can't imagine life without her and we haven't even met yet.
The day we found out of Alyssa's pregnancy, August 16th, Thursday at 5pm to be exact was the coolest day ever. Not at the moment, but 8 months later I can honestly mark that day in my '07 planner with hearts.
Around 5pm that evening Gene and I received a call from our friend asking if Alyssa was okay. As far as we knew she was at volleyball practice and was fine. He asked because when he dropped off his daughter at practice he saw Alyssa leaving the school in tears. Concerned I called her to see if she was okay. She said practice was hard and she was heading to the gas station to get a Red Bull when our friend had seen her, but she was fine. Gene called our friend back and thanked him for his concern and told him all was well.
Minutes passed and another call came from him. His daughter said Alyssa wasn't in practice at all. So again, we called Alyssa who said she was at practice. She said since she's was on Varsity and the other girl played on JV that maybe she hadn't seen her since the two teams practiced in different gyms. We again thanked our friend for his concern.
A few minutes later another call. His daughter practiced with Varsity that day and Alyssa was not at practice. Called Alyssa back and no answer. Getting her voice mail clued these clueless parents into the fact that she knew we were on to her. We just weren't sure as to what we were on to.
She mentioned earlier she was going to my sisters house after practice, so I called my sister and told her of the mystery of Alyssa's whereabouts during practice and asked her to get me an answer.
The next call changed my life and within moments I was an emotional wreck as my sister's words were, "She's pregnant."
"NO!" I screamed...she's not pregnant,
A 17 year old Senior in high school.
A starter on her Varsity volleyball team.
A College-bound girl with dreams to achieve.
A know it all teenager that knows nothing about raising a baby.
Me. Oh my God, she's me.
I took this so personal because ever since her pre teen years I had tried to prevent her from becoming "me" as I shared my testimony of being a young single mom. Although having her was the one of the best things that has happened to me, I wanted her to choose differently. Were my words of wisdom wasted on my daughter over the years? Having a baby at 18 was just not a desire I ever had for her. Nor did she.
So this is where it gets really cool. Our friend who kept calling us that day was over at the house not too long ago and we got to talking about that day. He wouldn't give up on uncovering the truth with Alyssa. He didn't know why, but he knew something was just not right and was persistent. He kept bothering us. Why?
Years ago, before meeting his wife our friend was in a relationship that resulted in a pregnancy that was aborted. A decision he knows God has forgiven him for, but he himself calls it his "gorilla on his back" as he wishes he could go back and change the decision. Who knew God would use his past in my daughter's present.
Alyssa only had a few hours to keep this "secret" before God revealed it. She herself has said that she was so relieved she had gotten "caught" because she doesn't know if she would've had an abortion or not. Even though she doesn't believe in abortion, she doesn't know if she would've swayed in that direction to keep her life the same. God knew if she would've ended her babies life her life would've never been the same.
I'm so thankful for our friend listening to God that day to keep calling us even though at the time he didn't realize what he was doing. I'm thankful he noticed her tears and cared enough to ask her if she was okay, but not believe her answer. To believe his daughter was telling the truth about Alyssa's absence. To keep calling her "content with her answer" parents until they were discontent.
I really believe that God squashed any plans Satan had of convincing Alyssa that abortion is her solution. God has plans for this baby girl and He has plans for Alyssa and no enemy was going to get in His way that day. This is not the end of Alyssa's life, only life as she knew it. If she had aborted this baby girls life, that would've been a gorilla on her back that she would've never gotten over. Gotten through perhaps, but not over.
We've shared this with our friend since then and together we praised God. Shaking his head with tears falling to the ground he said, "I was hoping some good would come of this." It did my friend, on God's timing.
So see, my sweet sisters, I await the birth of this precious baby girl chosen by God to be born to my young teenage daughter with much excitement and love. Wasn't God's plan for Alyssa's life as she clearly took a different path, but she didn't shake her Creator up a bit with her choices. He just has different plans now. For two.
We never know when the gorillas on our back will be used by the King in a mighty way.
Give Him your past.
Be prepared to say Yes to God.
Be usable.
Be available.
Be trusted enough to let God say, "Come here girl and let me use YOUR past for MY glory."
You never know whose life He will save when you cooperate.
On August 16, 2007 it was Amiyah Elizabeth's life God chose to save that day as He spoke these words from the book of Jeremiah over my sweet granddaughter's life...
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.
I can't wait to meet you my little Princess!
I love you!
~Many Blessings~
UPDATE: At the appointment today Little Girl is 5lbs 12oz so far--they guessed her to be in the 7's when born. And the due date stayed April 5th! Everything looked good, but the baby's heart is beating out of rhythm. Doc says these kinds of things usually works its way out, but he wants to watch her. So, next Wednesday another ultrasound. So ladies, please pray.
OH, and she"lots of hair" :)
Thank you. Love, Lelia


tiggerdaisy said...

What a touching story. Thanks for sharing an emotional story that has caused you and your family much pain and sacrifice, but yet is causing so much joy and anticipation now.

I can't wait to hear what happened at the doctor's office! I just LOVED hearing my baby's heartbeat every time I went! Oh, the sweet gentle rhythym that captivated my soul still lingers in my mind. :)

Yolanda said...

God is MIGHTY and what a true blessing that you are TODAY for your daughter and your Grand-daughter.

The KING is in enthralled by your beauty!

Love ya

heather said...

Thank you! This has me in tears. Thank you for sharing... for the reminder that God can use the gorilla on our back, our past mistakes and pains, to help save someone else... even someone we don't know we ever helped.
I needed to hear that today.

I had a very difficult conversation with my husband today. Please pray that he will stay safe on the way to and from work tonight. And that we will get a further chance to talk. We need God to heal us.

I pray that He will use our pasts to help others someday, but that for now we can give our past, present and future to Him... and allow him to heal us.
God bless you,

Amy L Brooke said...

Very cool.... I will keep praying for everyone!

Cindy said...

Wow - thanks for sharing your heart with us. It's amazing how God uses people in our lives. I hope and pray your little granddaughter arrives safe and healthy, and for your daughter as she prepares for this new chapter in her life.


MrsJoeB said...

Lelia-I beleive this was God's plan all along-He knows everything before we think-speak-or act!! I am a cardiac nurse not an OB nurse but since I teach nursing at a local college I have connections! Let me ask. I wouldn't worry about it. These little ones do outgrow alot of things either before they are born or shortly thereafter. If she has four chambers in her heart and great functioning valves-no are on the right path! I am praying for this little one. What is her name going to be-did I miss that?
You are a blessing!
In His Graces~Pamela

Anonymous said...

thank you so much for sharing the brings back so many memories of my own story 10years ago and of one of my best friends stories when she was a senior in highschool, also 10 years ago...i can so relate to her feelings of being scared and not knowing how to tell her mom!!! I can't wait to see how your story progresses and can't wait to see pictures of the little girl :0) What a blessing!!!

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

Can't wait to celebrate with you and Alyssa.

Beautiful reminder of God's intricate workings in our lives. Blessings!

Kelley at Aroma of Joy said...

You never cease to amaze me! You are so right out there and using all of it to bring God glory! Thank you for being so open and honest, it makes me wish I knew you more. I can't wait to meet you in person and I would love to meet your daughter and new grandbaby as well!

Love, Kelley

kmom3 said...

I will be praying!
I love how God is SO true to His Word. I love how He can work all things together for good! I love how He already has a wonderful plan for this precious baby girl's life. And I love that He is not anywhere near done with His plans for your daughter's life. He is worthy to be trusted.
Love you,

Heather@Mommymonk said...

Wow - God is in all those details. He had His hand on some great women's lives that day in August. Yours, Alyssa's and Amiyah's! Thanks for sharing this!

Susan said...

Hey Lelia,

Once again, a heartfelt post, God is glorified and we all have come to love you more. Thanks for beings so transparent.

Please know you can count on me to be praying for baby girl, please keep us updated~

I could not help but think of a story I once read years ago when I read this post. I love the way God uses everything in our lives to bring HIM glory.

I know this is long, I guess I could email you this, but I'll go ahead and post it here.

As you know I have a son with a brain tumor, but that wasn't the first disappointing news we heard. When he was only 4 we were told he was mentally handicapped. I'll never forget the shock, the questions, and disbelief.

Not sure if you'd read this already but in some ways it applies:

Welcome To Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

We would not trade Holland for anything in this world, it's been wonderful.

Blessings to you my sweet friend♥

Emily said...

awwww, that was sweet. You're a grammy already!

Heather said...

Very wonderful story, thanks for sharing! You're all in my prayers, this is such an exciting time of anticipation!

Sita Henderson said...

Lelia, Ive been doing some study on generational legacies that keeps getting passed on, some good, some not. As I look at myself, I am horrified to see some of the strongholds come to life. I have determined, it stops with me, and I will pray to that end.

What I find so wonderful about this story is that you are making a new legacy and this entire blog is a testament that will be passed on to your daughter and grandaughter. Wow, that granddaughter is so blessed to have you. You remind me of David, you have a heart for God. All of your pain has been and will be used for the redemption of many others.
Your sis-in-Christ,

Anonymous said...

I've added your request and praying for Baby girl...Our 1st son was also found to have an irregular heart beat late in my pregnancy...It scared us to death (Hubby and I weren't married until T was 2 weeks old-but that's a whole other story). All these years later we finally had his heart checked again and it's perfectly fine...T is now 10...I will pray that the heart grows together, that Baby Girl is born healthy, and mom and grandma have complete peace...

Lizerd said...

Wow! Beautiful story and what a fabulous testimony as to how God works so mysteriously for His glory! I will be praying for all of you and waiting to hear about the day of her birth. I am sure that there is something really cool coming to all of you! Blessings!

Rhonda said...

Just found your blog and read your story. Wow! Your daughter is blessed. And so is your granddaughter.

Thanks for sharing your story. What a testimony to Christ-like parenting.

Bless you!!

Anonymous said...

Twenty years ago last August I found out that I was pregnant. But I was too afraid to tell me parents. I was engaged to my now husband, but we were not getting married for another year. As much as I had been brought up in church and new right from wrong, I made the decision to have an abortion. It still amazes me how easy that decision was. I felt as though there were no options.

My baby would have been turning 20 this April had she been born.

I admire you for embracing your daughter and her child.

Your daughter will not have to live with the pain of regret.

(Please know that I have been healed and walk in wholeness now.)

Blessings to your family. May you celebrate this new life.

Lelia Chealey said...

Dear Anonymous,
Thank you so much for sharing this. What a beautiful testimony you have! I would love to talk with you. Email me if you'd like:
I'm so glad that you allowed God to heal you. He seems to always use what the enemy tries to hold over us for such beauty. There's just no shame when we are on Jesus' team that's for sure. You have blessed me more than I know.