Thursday, May 29, 2008

Thick Truth

Normally I don't post back to back, but some things are just too good to not share.

Back in "the day", you know like 20 years ago, I strutted my athletic frame down the halls of my high school, never having a thought that one day my many hours spent pumping iron and doing aerobic videos led by Jane Fonda would be hidden.
Never did I think that once a year at my annual physical exam I'd leave my doctor's office with a sheet of paper with the words "slightly obese" scribbled on it attached to a pamphlet of healthy tips.
When I voice my "I can't believe I let myself get like this" woes, my sweet friends try their best to comfort me with words like, "well, you have had three kids Lelia"; only to hear me desperately trying to remind them of the nice shape I had after I gave birth to Alyssa and Aaron.
And what is up with slightly obese...I'm either tipping the scale in the wrong direction or I'm not...there's no 'slight' about it.

It wasn't until before I got pregnant with Alivia in 2000 that I began to gain weight and only a few times over the last 6 years have I lost more than just water weight where people actually noticed. Over the years though I have not had long term success and have only "slightly" kept the weight off for a season.

I recently took a poll to prove to my husband that I'm not alone when it comes to doing things like eating frosting out of a can, indulging in raw cookie dough and pouring Hershey's syrup into my mouth. I suppose I do have some habits that send my husband into disgust mode and may just contribute to my weight problem. Gene can scarf down a whole bag of Chilli Cheese Fritos between commercials, but the man would never think of getting a spoon and eating Pillsbury Creamy Supreme Milk Chocolate frosting out of the can. Never. This is not a habit I do a lot, but when I do, he is quick to let me know that in the future my complaints about having to shop in the plus size department will be falling on his deaf ears.

Anyway, at the beginning of May I remembered this annual running clinic, but I was unable to find any information on it. Recently I was in a boutique when the sales girl started telling me about an upcoming clinic called Beginner's Luck. Just so happened that it is the same clinic I had been searching for. So,on Mother's Day after eating a waffle cone filled with peanut butter ice cream from Cold Stone, I took myself downtown to the Running Company store and picked up my registration form. Last week I filled out my form in hope of a better future and mailed it in along with my 20 buck commitment.

So, starting Wednesday, June 4th I will be in a beginner's running club that will meet for 8 weeks for an hour each evening. I will be taught the how to's of running properly so people driving by me don't slow down and ask if I'm okay.
I'll be taught how to put a whole can of frosting on a cake instead of in my mouth and choose to eat fruit instead.
I will be taught what running shoes are best for my feet instead of which shoes I think are the prettiest.
Then at the end of the 8 weeks we're encouraged to enter a 5K (3 mile) race in the Cornhusker State Games in July.

Just this past weekend the doubt was sinking in and the excuses started invading my mind as I was thinking of my new adventure.
Thoughts such as...
How I hate running,
How it might be hot and I'll sweat. A lot.
How I love frosting.
How I really want the body I had when I walked to my locker to get my Algebra books in the 80's.
Is it too late to get refunded my twenty dollar registration fee...

But just as I started to allow the excuses to snag my focus, God sent me a little reminder that this healthy lifestyle change is just the boost I need.
I need this weekly accountability group that has no desire to become like Bruce Jenner who I stared at every morning while eating my bowl of Wheaties when I was a teen athlete.God knows I need to be a part of this group of people who do not have the goal of running a marathon, but instead work their way up to running 3 miles by the end of the summer. People who want to run for pleasure and health.
So in typical God fashion, He sent me this last night...

Since tomorrow is the last day of school, my 6 year old daughter Alivia is cleaning out her desk and brought home her writing journal. I love reading what she writes and my face lit up like a Christmas tree when I saw the journal entry from May 6th titled
"My Mom".
Let me share...

My mom's name is Lelia. She is 37. My mom is white.

She is thick. My mom has brown and red hair.

My mom is THICK?
Not only am I white, but I am thick??
I lovingly smiled at the sweet child before me who just made herself a present-less birthday girl this July and I continued to read...

My mom and I like to read and go to the park. My mom and I like to ride our bikes and play at the library. We like to go the movies and the zoo to spend time together. She likes to write on her blog. She likes to talk on the phone. I love my mom she is very pretty. I love spending time with her. I hope you have learned alot about my mom.

On the way to church last night my 13 year old son Aaron was reading this touching journal entry out loud while laughing. He was quick to point out that he can't remember the last time he even saw me on a bike.
I guess Alivia's fantasy "in-shape mom" got mixed up with the real thing as she told her brother that some of it is "pretend".
I just said, "But Aaron, look how active she made me look to her teacher ....I go to the park and I play at the library!"

"Yeah, but you're thick." said the not so smart son with a birthday only two weeks away.

So while it is nice to save money on my children's birthday's and according to my poll, prove to Gene that I'm not alone in eating this...

I am now convinced that God wants me to eat these instead...

And also so that when my little Princess writes about me next year in 2nd grade, the description of me won't have to be filled with fake activities and won't cause her teacher to wonder when she sees me at Parent/Teacher conferences...
if she's so active then why is she so thick?

So next Wednesday consider yourself warned that between 7 and 8pm central time you will not be feeling an earthquake. It will just be a washed up athlete trying to run off her thickness here in the Midwest.

Weird that seeing "slightly obese" for 6 years written by my Doctor didn't get me motivated, but seeing the description"thick" written out in 1st grade hand writing did the trick...

Here's to my soon-to-be-gone thickness,

Here are the poll results. Gene got such a kick out of this and I proved that his wife is not the only one out here that does these things...Thanks for participating!

Yes, I eat frosting out of a can...37 admitted to doing this

Yes, I have eaten Hershey's Syrup directly out of the can...19 of us!

Yes, I have eaten more raw cookie dough than I've baked...27 in-the-closet cookie dough eaters!

No, your husband is right, you are gross and need help...1 vote...Probably Gene. :)


Paula (SweetPea) said...

Lelia, you are an absolute HOOT! I laughed through this entire thing. I mean stuff like you saying you walked to your locker wondering if you could get a refund. You are just so funny. I really enjoyed reading this post.

I loved YOUR reaction and dramatization to your daughter's description of you as thick. BUT did you notice she said you are pretty!

I'm sounds like a huge commitment every night, even weekends? But you will be so pleased at how and what your 'temple' will become with exercise and laying low on those frosting cans...that stuffs good, though. I just don't buy it or I'd eat several spoons at a time.

I look forward to you possibly sharing some of the many things you learned about eating, shoes, etc.

Oh, your exageration about the earthquake at 7pm was a hoot too!

You just really brightened my day today!


Sandra said...

I'll be cheering you on from my couch here in Texas ;-). Just kidding! I'm with ya in that "slighly" obese category. I used to love running the 5K's back before I had my three boys. You not only got a bunch of freebies after the run, but you got some exercise and helped a charitable organization in the process. Two of my three boys are a bit on the chubby side so we will definitely be doing a lot of outside activities this summer so that we can shed some of this weight because Lord only knows how much we love to eat!


Amy L Brooke said...

You are too funny! I'm probably thick as well!

I'm trying to see how much I can lose before She Speaks even though I know it won't be enough!

You can tell your children you spent their birthday money on the running clinic and give them a picture in your running atire....

HisPrincess said...

Good luck with your new commitment! You will be able to afford a gym membership now that you don't have to buy birthday presents anymore! You crack me up - in the morning even! And let me tell you that's no easy task!

Tracy said...

Laughing out loud as I read your post! I too am an honorary member of the "thick" girls club and feel its long past time to "do something about it." You've challenged and inspired me! (Not that I plan to run like you, but at least to get serious about my eating habits and begin a CONSISTENT exercise routine.) In fact, hubby and I had salad for dinner tonight! ; ) Now if I could just find some fruit that tastes like Dove chocolate or brown sugar cinnamon pop-tarts (my two greatest weaknesses), I'd be well on my way. Since that scenario is highly unlikely, looks like it may be time to reprogram my taste buds! ; ) Thanks for the kick in the pants I've been in need of...cheering you from here!

Love & blessings,

Amy L Brooke said...

I have my first Linky up. Come see!

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness Lelia--you just crack me up!!

Just last week my 19 year old told me that my arms were as big as his (he is a HUGE guy!) I could have cried--I think he meant it as a compliment because I am very muscular but I just couldn't take it that way. My husband assured me that my arms are no where as big as our sons--I just don't believe him.

I guess I will have to stop eating frosting from the can, hershey syrup from the bottle and all that cookie dough too!!! Kids--they are just so darn honest aren't they??

thanks for the laugh and good luck with the running club!

tiggerdaisy said...

Girl, you are too funny!!!! I can read the headlines next week..."No, America, that was not an earthquake you just felt, but rather an out of shape woman in Nebraska trying to survive the first leg of a run. Expect to feel an aftershock as this woman will be collapsing to the ground any minute now..." Just kidding girl-- as I think this would be my headline except mine would have a tsunami warning issued along with it!

Just remember, you sweet little daughter might have called you thick, but she said you were beautiful...and that wasn't a pretend part!

Lots of love to you girlie!

Laura said...

Ooooh! I missed the survey! I can tell you one thing I used to do when I was nursing the boys: pour chocolate chips into my mouth directly from the bag! I think I'm detecting a pattern here...Can you say "Chocolate is essential to a woman's emotional health"? Why, oh, why do we love the fatty high caloric tooth decaying stuff? I feel your pain, wonder woman. I love to run, though, but I've been doing it so long that it is no longer a viable weight loss option. Only a maintenance plan. Oh well:) good luck with the running!

Sita said...

You're thick? crack me up totally!...
I was at my son's high school last night for a concert, couldn't find them after..but my son explained why see, the parents and kids are mostly Dutch background..(and did you know that the Dutch are deemed to be the "tallest" people as a nation)..
"Mom, who could SEE're so short!" Hey kiddo, you were short once too!
Ooh, I love to laugh...keep on keeping on, girl..or should I say, run on!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Here's supporting you! I'm 42 and run three times a week. I'm still thick in places, but I wouldn't trade the discipline and the feeling I get every time I hit the pavement.

Fill the Ipod with your favorite praise music and let it be a time when you worship our Father amidst the strenuous and sometimes mundance routine of exercise.

I look forward to hearing about your progress. Don't live in the shadow of others' successes. Just press on to take hold of God's best for your life.

I'll be thinking and praying for you the next time I hit the road.


MrsProverbs31 said...

That was awesome! I laughed all the way down. I have some thickness myself. I don't bake often so I don't have that problem, but I eat lots of oily food. I like to sit longer than I should at the dinner table-picking on left-overs. It's easy to lick my finger but hard to walk a few miles. God bless us thick moms.

Joyful said...

Lelia this is so funny! I've never heard anyone described as "thick" before - unless it was refering to someone who had difficulty understanding things.

I think we women all feel the "thick" crunch about now - warmer weather coming (at least I hope it's coming - here in Canada it's still pretty cool), the thoughts of shorts and bathing suits etc...

Just this past weekend a bloggy friend of mine who also was hoping to begin a healthier life-style, committed to helping me stay accountable, via daily food/exercise reports as we encourage one another to stay on track.

Looking forward to hearing your updates. You go girl!!!

Through thick and thin,

Linda said...

I'm part of the "thick girls" club, too, Lelia! I am so proud of you for signing up, and I wish I had something like that here. It sounds like they have really reasonable goals. I know you can do it. And I have always thought you are pretty, for whatever that's worth!

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

Oh, ouch.

It reminds me of when my son pointed to my tummy and asked, "You got a baby in der?" Ouch. He's since been disowned. He's four, but, there must be a penalty for that kind of dishonor. I am only being biblical.

Like you, I never had trouble until Kid 3. Maybe all those moms of 2 got a memo we missed.

By the way, I am going to be at She Speaks, so hi!!

Pamela (MrsJoeB) said...

Lelia-I am with you on this one! I can feel this weight gain in my joints now....aughhh. I am praying for you. I'm sure your daughter was imping your are spiritually thick...surely....

in His Graces~Pamela

Pamela (MrsJoeB) said...

My book "What Happens When Women Walk in Faith"came today! I'm ready to start this new Bible study!! It looks and reads great!!! Thanks for hosting this new blog Bible stydy Lelia!!

In His Graces~Pamela

Paula (SweetPea) said...

My "What Happens" book came today. I was so excited to see it. I hope to read the intro tomorrow.

When we start on July 1st, will we be doing just one chapter? Or will it be a whole "phase"? I want to make sure I'm following correctly. Looks like I'll need to get me one of them there noter-books.

You can just click "email me" on my blog or you should be able to just hit reply to this comment in your email.

Thanks for hosting. I'm excited to be a part of it.

Rachelle said...

Love it, Love it!!! Good luck with the running! You can do it!!
"if she's so active, then why is she so thick" funny stuff! Oh, BTW, the more you run....the more frosting you will be able to eat : )

Karen said...

Lelia, you are too funny. I missed the poll, but I too am a closet cookie-dough eater, though I don't indulge nearly as much as I used to -- it was one of those things my best friend/college roommate and I would do together back in the day when my metabolism could handle it better. Now frosting... that's another matter. :)

Kelley said...

Hi Lelia,
I can't wait to hear how it goes tomorrow. You are so cool to be doing this running clinic and I am certain God will bless you through it.

I got your phone message on Sat. night as I was headed to church but then I came down with a migraine that lasted most of the weekend and is still lingering. I'm not sure what caused it (probably that I tried to run on Sat. afternoon). Anyway, I am sorry I missed you and I can't wait to chat about our trip. Although I am so nervous I am shaking!!

Have a great day and let's talk very soon!


Bonita said...

Too funny! I'm proud of you for joining the running club and if you're still thick at the end of the summer it will be all muscle.

I shudder to think what at 6 year old would write about me. I doubt that I'd fall in the thick category, but I bet I'd be called a jiggler. Obviously, I was never an athlete even as a teenager and I have the dangly cellulite to prove it!