Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Take me deeper Lord

John 15:16
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last.
Does it ever just blow your mind that you've been chosen by Jesus? Handpicked by the Creator of everything to do His work for Him? To serve and love others for His glory? Does mine.
Takes away my breath to know that while He was walking the dusty roads with the Disciples that we were on His mind. I cannot tell you how much I think of Him. It seems like especially lately that my thoughts are just all about Him.

Since this past summer, my love for Him has grown beyond what I've ever known it before and I want more of Him. Sometimes when I'm in the Word I get so overwhelmed because I want Him to know how much I adore Him. I want Him to know that when my actions don't reflect Him, my heart is crying out for Him. I want Him to trust me. I want Him to know...this girl has my best interest at heart.

A few years ago when my heart was hardened, I'd go over to my parents house and see my Mom always reading her Bible. It was like she couldn't get enough of it and when I didn't want to hear it, she'd share it with me anyway. Of all the things about my Mom, that's the one thing that sticks out in my mind about her. She'd have no idea I'd be stopping by so it's not like it was anything staged. I'd just drop by and there she'd be-whether it was on her porch in her swing or in her glider in her living room-she was in the Word. What a Godly example~what a legacy. Thanks Mom.
When I gave my heart back to Christ, I wanted what my Mom had unknowingly impressed upon my heart. Then I heard Beth Moore speak in Believing God and she said, what you lack, pray for and see if God doesn't give it to you. So, I began to pray for a passion for His Word and boy did He answer! There have been nights that I wake up with my Bible on my chest. What a way to fall asleep!
I just share my heart with you today to tell you that I have no idea where you are with Jesus. What I do know though is that Jesus Christ has chosen me and if you've invited Him into your life, then He has chosen you too. If you knew my past you too would ask why her? I used to be so ashamed of my past that I allowed the enemy to keep me in the mindset of my past. I now base my past failures on Philippians 1:12 Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel.
If my ugly past brings just one person to know Jesus Christ as their Saviour, it was all worth it.
To Him be all the glory!
A very ugly, shameful past full of stupid, selfish, hurtful choices. Choices that I wouldn't trade for anything though because of the testimony I now have. A testimony that opens the hearts of the girls in jail here in town...that allows me to share about Jesus with them. Girls in jail that walk into Bible study looking and acting tough....and yet by the end of the hour are hugging me and in tears wanting to know more about Jesus Christ. That is what this is all about.
Time on earth is short-just ask my friends Carol or Dena. Carol buried her 18 year old daughter Jennifer 18 years ago this past December and Dena her little Matthew 6 years ago, who would have turned 15 this spring. I want to make the most of the time He's given me. I want to be used by my Father to enhance His Kingdom. I want other women to know that it doesn't matter what your past is full just give it to Him and let Him deal with it. See where He takes you, you won't be sorry. You will no longer carry the shame that bad choices have left you with. When you surrender your heart and life to Jesus there is nothing like it when He lifts your chin off the ground to gaze into His eyes.
I thank God that over the years I've had people in my life that covered me in prayer while I was out living my life. People besides my parents that just wouldn't throw in the towel on me. My uncle Chris and Aunt Brenda in Alabama, along with my parents never gave up on me. My uncle would make me so mad sometimes because I had already given up hope, so to have an uncle riding the waves with me was just unbelievable. Without prayer coverage, I can't imagine the life I'd be living.
The song playing just speaks my heart. When I think about you Lord, how you saved me...I am so undeserving of You Jesus, but yet I need and want You! I love You! Tears flow at the thought of what You've done in my life because You didn't have to do any of it. You are truly the Love of my life. Thanks for never throwing the towel in on me.
Thank You Jesus.
Take me deeper with You Lord.
~Many Blessings~


Robin said...

Hi Lelia,

What a beautiful post. I struggle daily with putting my past behind much so that at times I feel as if I am still there. I am so grateful for the the Love and forgiveness of Christ and for others like yourself who bear witness to that Love! Thank you for your honesty and sincerity. Thank you for sharing! And thank you Jesus for loving me despite my faults and my past.


MrsProverbs31 said...

Well, hi Lelia,

I followed you from Renee's blog. I love your comment there. It lifted me up. "You are not perfect Renee, but you do have Perfection in you." And I love that suggestion. And I like this song you have on your blog too. I just recently experienced those critical voices. I began to doubt myself. Thankfully, God came to my rescue. Whew!

And, your blog, wow! I just recently had one of those moments. I pray that verse almost everyday. God bless you and your ministry.

kmom3 said...

kmom3 said...
Hey, Lelia!
Oh, how I loved your post from yesterday. It goes right along with how I have been feeling. I couldn't even make it through the whole thing without breaking down and crying. Oh, how I love Him! Thank you for sharing your heart. And thank you for putting on that song! It is one of my favorites!
Hope you have a wonderful day!
Love and Blessings,
Kimberly (you know, from Lysa's place) :)

MrsJoeB said...

Lelia-hello again! What a wonderful ministry you have. I love Phil 1:12 because He does use the most unlikely people-me being one. I firmly beleive that it is in brokenness that we come to hunger and thirst after Him more. My heart is like yours-I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF HIM!!! And I want to help others who find they are in a pit, whether that pit was self-induced or inflicted by others. Keep serving Him as you are-'press for the goal He has set before you'! You are an encouragment.
In His Graces~Pamela
P.S. Your mom should read this posting-it would be such a blessing for her!

Susan said...

Dear Lelia,

I can not begin to tell you how much I enjoy coming to your blog! Your love for the Lord, your writing, transparency and your hungry heart is so refreshing, so real, so uplifting, and so ANOINTED, what can I say? (whew, talk about a run on sentence!)

I just looked down at your links for the first time. You had mentioned your Uncle Chris and Aunt Brenda and how God used them in your life.

So...I clicked on the link to their church. OH MY....

This is a small world indeed. Your Uncle used to go to the church I attend now! Pastor Larry Stockstill at Bethany is our pastor.

Your Uncle came and preached an AWESOME message one Sunday and I ran and bought at least 5 copies of it and gave it out to my family and friends immediately. He is just incredible. I can see why God is using him in a mighty way there in AL. Now, he did sit under one of the best ministers ever! (He He...)

I don't even know your testimony, but I do know God is using you in such a mighty way!

Blessings to you as you continue to pursue hard after the Lord!

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:19

PS Love the song you have playing!