Wednesday, January 2, 2008

The Real Deal

I'm touched to hear that you and Gene gave up your bedroom!! How touching. Please don't be discouraged by everything that you are doing. You are teaching Alyssa how to take care of your child no matter what. You are showing her the sacrifice that it sometimes takes as a parent for our children!! She will remember that, she will pass that on to her child. You are a wonderful mother and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise!!
I'm so proud of you.
That was an e-mail I received from my dear friend Melissa who I go to church with. She read my last post where in the 1st paragraph I shared how Gene & I gave our pregnant teenager our bedroom while we took the basement room.
Now for the ugly truth...
We got home from church and immediately changed into working clothes. Alyssa and her friend Courtney went to the basement and began bringing her belongings upstairs while Gene and I moved our stuff to the basement. Before I could even get my thoughts organized, my living room was filled with dresser drawers. My couch was covered with my bedding & our 6 year old daughter's bedroom was taken over with clothes, shoes and keepsakes belonging to Alyssa.
Feeling overwhelmed with all of the piles surrounding me I asked Alyssa to do the dishes hoping a clean kitchen would lower my rising blood pressure.
Then I go downstairs and begin to cry & converse with myself.
I like my upstairs bedroom.
I don't think I'm going to like my basement bedroom.
I love the warm glow of gold color painted on my walls.
My walls are now cold, white paint-chipped wood paneled walls.
I love how my feet feel on my wood floors.
I now stand on rough, stained carpet.
I love my ceiling fan/light.
My drop ceiling has a fluorescent light/no fan and holes in it.
Years ago our son wanted to see if his pool cue could make holes in the ceiling by pushing really hard-mission accomplished.
I love my recently organized closet.
My closet's now a rod hanging in the furnace room.
I love feeling the warmth from the furnace blow out of the vent above my side of the bed.
How much space does a space heater heat?
I love to close the door and escape behind the four walls of my room.
I have no door and my oak headboard is also a room divider.
I love the elegance of our huge, oak dresser with a mirror, a wedding present from my parents.
My elegant mirror's now in storage as it's too tall for my low,
hole-filled drop ceiling.
After my pathetic pity party came anger. I stomped upstairs, glared at my husband and let loose on anyone in sight. I believe Alyssa's words through tears as she did the dishes were, "You're the one who's pouting. Mom, I'm sorry you had to give up your room, but I'm trying to save up money because I know you don't want me here."
Oh Lord, all the grace I've tried so hard to show my pregnant teenager over the last 6 months was just thrown out the window by feeling sorry for myself. By throwing a major temper tantrum in front of her friend. Let's just call it like it is---by being a spoiled brat. I'm sure my Heavenly Father was disgusted with me as my daughter's interpretation of my tears mixed with anger was that I didn't want her in my house, instead of just my room.
Far from the truth, but don't our actions speak louder than our words?
So, my dear friend Melissa, thank you for your kind words straight from your heart, but I had to be honest with you. I didn't want to switch rooms with her and unfortunately, I let her know it. I asked her and
God both for forgiveness for my ugly heart and attitude and I did my best to assure her that I do want her and Baby Girl in our home.
Last night I peeked in on her and her room looked beautiful .
She looked beautiful and I whispered a prayer of thanks to my Father that she's in our home as I headed to my basement bedroom.
~Many Blessings~


Anonymous said...

now u know the living condtions I was in! its nice an cozy up here:) thanks momma

love ur daughter

Susan said...

Dearest Lelia,

Oh, your post was great. You are so honest, and yes, you are a great mom.

Who would not complain?

Looks like you already have a very happy and "grateful daughter".

You will remember and cherish these times always.

Blessings to you my friend!

Amy Shay said...

ok so i'm super late with this post. but i currently haven't had a computer so it took me awhile to catch up on your blogs. I love your writing Lelia. Like my mom has already said, we switched rooms too. As i watched her take her things downstairs, i felt so bad that because of my decisions she had to feel cold, and uncomfortable (considering we found huge spiders in our basement). I know that Alyssa is definitely relieved knowing that her baby girl won't have to live in those conditions. I also know that she most likely felt the same way i did as she watched you and Gene load up and move downstairs. Thanks for sticking with her and helping her Lelia. She tells me a lot of things and i can see how much she appreciates you and your family all just being there for her.


p.s. i just finally got Addie's room all together (minus the bags of clothes for Alyssa) and i found a spot for the poem you wrote for us. Thanks again, Lelia.