She Falls, He Gets Her Up, She Writes, SHE SPEAKS

"Lelia, I didn't know you were a Christian!"

This is what my friend and co-worker Deb told me at my wedding reception in the summer of '99. Basing her revelation on what was sung and said in my wedding, she was excited to discover I was her quiet sister in Christ. I was equally shocked for I've been a Christian since second grade when I asked Jesus into my life on the playground led in prayer by Miss E'Lise Christensen. Twenty-two years saved so what part of Jesus didn't Deb see in my life?

Deb's comment didn't leave my mind anytime soon. I had worked 40 hours a week with this woman for a year. I was aware of what she believed about Jesus. I knew that all of her activities centered on Him. I knew that she loved Him passionately and I knew of her reputation of being a woman of God. So what if I lived with Gene before we got married and had two kids out of wedlock ? So I never told any of my co-workers about Him. I would've invited them to church like Deb did if I faithfully attended one. I still loved Jesus.


When life settled back into place after our honeymoon, I thought more about Deb's words spoken in shock to find out I loved Jesus. It really bothered me and so I opened my Bible and read

1 John 1:5-7

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

God's own words changed my heart and my life. I now try to live a life that daily speaks love for Jesus. A life that's on fire to share about the One that saved me from the pits of hell. My walk with Jesus isn't something I take for granted anymore. My life now tries to reflect what I believe and in Who I believe. I crave Him and want others to have Him too.

In God's own timing He's taken me from writing in the comfort of my home to the jailhouse downtown to share with women what He's done and is doing in my life. He's wiped my tears when I've seen tough acting women behind bars with rap sheets as long as their tattoo-covered arms break down in tears after reading something I've written and ask me to tell them more about the Saviour I write and talk about.

In His own timing, He has graduated me from writing in my journal to writing poems to stories, from stories to blogging and daily sharing about His awesome ways with old friends and new blogging buddies. I point to Him when I'm told I should get published and accept the desire He has placed in my heart to write a book. He knows that whatever I do, say or write to Him be all the glory. I have tried writing solo and all I end up with is a lot of frustration and a blank computer screen.

So daily I have to acknowledge that the gift of writing He has blessed me with is just that...HIS gift. I have humbly laid this gift at the foot of His cross and promised Him that I will use it to glorify Him. It blows me off the top of Calvary as I kneel, soaked in tears of thanksgiving trying to grasp that He actually wants to use a woman with a past like mine to draw others to Him. I am so unusable, but yet by the hands of my Redeemer I am a new creation ready, willing and able to be used by her King. A creation that wants to encourage other woman to seek Him, love Him and never turn away from their True Love. A woman that when she speaks it's not Lelia Chealey they hear, but God's grace, mercy and hope that fill their ears and hearts instead.

By faith, I keep walking through the doors only He can kick open. I walk over His holy threshold with trust, amazement and obedience not having any idea what lies before me. This year alone through the world's eyes, I should have thrown the towel in on Him. Pregnant teen daughter, teen son in trouble with the law, financial strain, one thing after the other, but yet, I trust. I follow, I cry, I yell, I love Him and I lean on Him. I write and talk about Him and I watch as He throws the towel in for me on my enemy, who by God's grace cannot take me down.

I'm sharing all of this because I believe the next door opening for me is to attend the Proverbs 31 Ministries She Speaks conference in June in North Carolina and learn more about the direction God is pointing me in. This is a conference that is led by godly women ready to share with other women the gifts that God has entrusted to them. Gifts of speaking, writing, blogging and how to lead a women's ministry. Gifts to raise up young girls ages 12-17 years old that desire to serve the Lord. This teachable, hungry, heart wants to learn from the ones God has chosen to put this conference together.

"I am very passionate about this conference for speakers, writers and women’s ministry leaders because I’ve experienced first hand the amazing things God does with the ladies that attend. "

~Lysa TerKeurst~

President/Founder of Proverbs 31 Ministries

Financially there's no way possible I can attend this conference. I can barely afford the gas to drive to work so asking my husband to buy a plane ticket to NC would make him laugh. My van in the shop as I type, bills that need to be paid and diapers to buy for a granddaughter due to arrive in the Spring are just a few of what is before me. If you've read my blog you know the story about my couch from God so you know I have no doubt in my Saviour's ability to provide for the desires of my heart. Even though finances can be tough, He always provides for our needs.

There is a scholarship opportunity that if it is God's will, I will be chosen to receive it and will praise Him. If He has someone else chosen to receive it then I will praise Him. I believe in my heart that He wants me to attend this conference and I'm excited about the moment He clues me in on how He's going to get me from Nebraska to North Carolina this summer.

So unknown to me of the details of my travel, I await my trip to North Carolina willing to look beyond an empty checking account and say "yes" to a God who has His best interest for me at heart. A God who is looking out for me. A God who loves me, forgives me and even slaps me upside my head when I need it. A God who never forsakes this girl who in the past has chosen to forget Him. Oh how I love and need Him!

Thank you sweet Jesus!

If you have an interest in writing, speaking, women's ministry or even leading a Bible study, this conference is for you. Click here for more details from Lysa TerKeurst of how you too can apply for the scholarship.

~Many Blessings~

Lelia