Continuing our on line study together of Lysa TerKeurst's book,"What Happens When Women Say Yes to God?" If you missed the Q&A with Lysa...click here as she really blessed us.
February 3rd on Super Bowl Sunday my husband's back went out when he helped me move a sectional couch to the basement. He had back problems for 2 years, but he felt he was okay to help me. Wrong.
Finally, after dealing with a local doctor and getting no progress, we headed to Omaha at the suggestion of the company nurse where he works. I have to admit when I'm inconvenienced, I tend to display probably the ugliest side of me that I have. I'm sure God just wants to sit me in time out when I behave the way I do.
Well, on March 4th He did just that. I took off work to take my in pain 24/7 man up to Omaha to meet with his new doctor. Now, keep in mind leading up to this appointment, I did not even attempt to make Gene's life easy. The man could not bend, lift, really do anything and yet I had him scared to ask me for a glass of water. Poor thing was probably dehydrated.
See, while my husband was injured and couldn't even breathe without being in pain, couldn't drive let alone barely walk, I was busy attending the pity party I was throwing for myself. With no success, I tried inviting others to join me by doing everything except scream, "Forget Gene, look at poor me doing all that I am!" I was so pathetic just because I was having to do more than my usual list of doing everything for everybody, and honestly, I didn't like it. As I was looking like Superwoman to others in public, in my heart I knew the private hell I was putting my husband through. Looking back on how I acted like a spoiled toddler, I am very ashamed of me.
So, here we are sitting in the waiting room of the Nebraska Spine Center and I open my book to read chapter 6. Before starting the on line study, I had read the book so I had an idea of what I'd be leading and am now re-reading it and doing the study. So anyway, I'm reading and suddenly my eyes are so filled with tears I can barely see the pages.
My husband is a big guy, not fat by any means...muscular. I've always felt so safe next to him and not that I've ever been in harms way, but if I was I know I'd be okay. He just gives me that sense of protection a woman longs for. My Gene was a football player out of Orlando recruited on a full scholarship back in '83 by the Nebraska Cornhuskers. So the athlete within him was very frustrated that his body was not cooperating with him and not to mention dealing with a wife focused on herself. This is what I read sitting next to my injured athletic husband...
Lysa shared with us how her husband Art's knee had gone out and how God didn't answer their prayers that it would be minor. Instead, he needed major surgery...
A real sign of spiritual maturity is looking to God not for comfort and convenience but for purpose and perspective.
Our changed perspective helps us see God in everything. I am convinced that Satan wants to keep my perspective in a place where my heart is discouraged and my mind is questioning God. Yet God's Word calls me to a different action:
We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.
This is the part that filled my eyes with tears because I couldn't see past my own selfishness to ask any of these questions Lysa asked herself...
What do we do with the fact that my very athletic husband is out of commission for several months? What does he do about missing many weeks of work and having his life totally interrupted? What do I do with my feelings of being overwhelmed and frustrated because I need his help? What do I do with the fact that he can't drive, is in extreme pain, and needs my unconditional love and support---even on the day when I'm too tired to give it?
Okay, God, where are You?
I tell you I about lost myself in the waiting room that morning.
God knew what I would be reading that morning and strategically had me reading it while in the midst of my inconvenience, sitting right next to his injured child that I failed to treat with dignity and love.
While in time out, God got my attention that morning.
Lysa goes on to tell us about Provision, Protection and Process.
Provision: How can He be our Ultimate Provider if we aren't ever lacking and in need?
Protection: As I look back and reflect on our difficult times, I can see how He protected us.
Process: We want to live the totally sold-out life for Christ, yet there are things pulling at us, enticing us, calling out to us----causing our indecision.
In times where the road diverges in front of us, we can either fall away from God or fall toward Him.
There was so much more in this chapter I just had to re-read, underline, star and highlight, but I'll let you share too. Let me close with this line from Lysa...
Obedience stops being a dutiful obligation and starts becoming a delight you crave.
When a woman says yes to God,
she discovers a thrilling way to live.
If only I had said Yes to God instead of attending my pity party, how I would've had tears of joy that day in the waiting room instead of shame. God had something for me through Gene's injury and it wasn't inconvenience. WHAT did I miss? WHAT did my selfishness cause my family to miss out on? WHAT was my husband's heart response to my behavior---did he draw near to Jesus or shut down?
Gene drew near and was forgiving and sweet to me in the waiting room that day.
Something I honestly didn't deserve.
Please post a comment on what God is doing in your life as you say Yes to Him and sign up if you have more to share on your own blog then sign up below.
~Blessed to be walking this YES path with you~