Tuesday, July 27, 2010

YES to GOD Study: Surrendering the Secret/Week 2 & 3


of the book
 Surrendering the Secret

Last Tuesday, I was to post on session 2 and today on session 3. I have to be honest here and tell you, I'm having a hard time working through this book. 
I can blame it on being busy with work and family, but truth be told, what I thought at first was a great idea of hosting this study, has turned out to be a lot harder than I thought. 
And like Jillian Michaels says on her video, "when you begin to hurt, it's pain leaving the body". 

So, I'm late and I'm sorry for that, but here are a few things from sessions 2 & 3. 

SHARING THE SECRET: A Spring in the Desert
Remember, anything in blue is a quote from the book. 

In the journal entry from Pat's journal she is nudged by God to share her story with her BFF, Ann. 
She was so nervous and scared to do so and wrote these thoughts:
Although I am dreading it, I had to tell Ann about my abortion. The secret swelled so fiercely in my heart that I was about to burst! Yet turmoil and panic gripped my chest because I had no idea what Ann would say or how exposing this dark part of my past would affect our friendship. Ann and all my new friends at church seemed so godly and good. What would they think of me? What would they think about the awful thing I had done? It was time---to break the power of secrecy...

Isn't this so true to think no matter what our secrets hold? 
I've talked before about being at a women's conference and thinking, "if only she knew me". 
And surprisingly, when I've shared my past with my friends, they have shown me grace. 
And my sister Michelle. Oh my goodness, God knew exactly who I needed.
 I couldn't have designed a more perfect friend/sister. She has been so incredible. 

In this session, Pat talked of buying into lies. 
If Satan can keep us feeling worthless, keep us feeling guilty, or keep our minds and hearts under his influence, he can keep us out of the glory God intended us to live in and the intimacy God wants us to share with Him. That's why the deceiver continually whispers lies about who we are, who God is, God's heart toward us, and  intimacy with God. 

Continually whispers lies. 
And I continually believe my enemy. 
This cycle of destruction has come to an end. 

Session 3: WALK IN TRUTH

What if when you went to the clinic to get your abortion they took you into a room and told you what you would really feel afterward? 

On page 45, Pat talks about how after having an abortion, the first emotion most women have is immediate relief. Research indicates, however, that this relief is short-lived and is soon replaced by guilt, shame, secrecy, sadness and regret. This strong letdown experience is commonly referred to as Post-Abortion Trauma. 

On my way home from the clinic, I got a phone call asking to serve at church for Easter Sunday that year. I felt so much shame, but quickly regrouped. 
I had to remember that this was MY secret. 
My pregnancy was the result of an affair my husband didn't know of yet, so I had to be careful not to do anything out of the ordinary. Which meant walking around crying. 
So, I stuffed it and went on with my life. 
And tried my hardest not to EVER think about it. 

But after my husband knew and showed so much grace, the guilt and shame would really kick in. And wouldn't you know, Satan stayed around and had fun with this new emotion too. 
He just loves to keep us down and useless. 

This is one decision that we hope we are alone in, but the truth of it is, many many women have had an abortion. We are everywhere...women who have bought the enemy's lie that abortion was our only hope, our only choice, and what we "had to do". 

Okay, that's all I can do for now. 
I will be praying for all of you silently joining this study. 
We are not alone ladies, and our God. 
Our God loves us as is. 

Please visit my co-host, Jennifer on her blog 
for an amazing word. 


*Next Tuesday, August 3rd for Session 4: A Time for Anger: Tearing Down Roadblocks


Jennifer said...

I love you Lelia!! I know this is difficult but God wants you here. He wants you healed and whole and He wants you to lay this down to Him!! So proud of you. Keep going!! All of you ladies! Keep pressing on.....

Kelly said...

The devil is constantly feeding us lies, I think, to keep us from reaching our God given potential and greatness. Sharing and honesty helps us break free of that restraint, and helps others as well.

You're doing a great thing, Lelia, I admire you.

joven said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Suzanne - Daughter of the King said...

I've been reading your posts and praying. You wrote "What if when you went to the clinic to get your abortion they took you into a room and told you what you would really feel afterward?" That gave me such pause today...

But I don't know that I would have listened. Twice I blocked out what I now know was the Lord trying to minister to me to not walk down the very dark road this "free choice" led me into.

As I sit and read each post - I pray and seek the Lord for each of us! Thank you for sharing your heart.

HisPrincess said...

Thank you for sharing this Leila. You are giving me much to think about and pray on.


Michelle Reynold said...

"I can blame it on being busy with work and family, but truth be told, what I thought at first was a great idea of hosting this study, has turned out to be a lot harder than I thought." I can completely relate to that from personal experience.

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Pamela (His maidservant) said...

Lelia..."But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear sister, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain".~ 1 Cor 15:57-58

You have a ministry here and satan will play mind games with you (my most recent blog post-how ironic is that?). Don't listen to his lies and continue to lead these ladies to VICTORY in CHRIST!!

Believing Him~Pamela

Pat said...

You are precious. Your obedience and willingness to be transparent for the sake of others is such a reflection of the love of Christ.
I am praying you through this group.
You my sister, are a pioneer. You bless me and I don't even come close to how God's heart must be bursting with pride over you!!

Laura said...

Just dropping by to see how you are doing and give some love! I miss you! I'm glad you are staying determined with this study. It is a very important assignment, it seems. Resistance always comes when something powerful is going on!

Hugs to you.

Tracy Cavelli Trussell said...

Lelia- your blog is filled with lots of good little bites to chew on! I really like that! Another thing Satan uses is isolation ... if he can get us isolated and from other believers he can wreak havoc in our lives. We have been created to be in fellowship with other brothers and sisters in the Lord to uplift, encourage and exhort one another in the Lord. Thank you for being a servant and voice for our Lord Jesus Christ! Bless you!
Tracy :)

Peggy said...

Blessings Lelie... I love your new look but I have noticed that you stopped posting this journey...
"Yes to God" Surrendering the Secret. I'm sure that it is a difficult one to do...

I'm hoping & praying for you and for anyone walking through this.
I'll be checking out Jennifer's to see if she has pressed on in posting but I wanted to share this video I came across today that prompting me to check on you and how this is going, only to find out that it stopped, or you id at Session 3. I pray that you are not discouraged as you share this and that you are not receiving attacks from readers or th enemy.

Here's the YouTube:

Hopefully, you are just holding on to enjoying summer. I know it's painful to go back in our past. While I was home this year, I started with a small group from my church on "Life's Healing Choices" by John Baker (I had the words mixed around and liked that better healing life's choices...) EnJOY
your summer and mending the hurts will come...

Love & prayers
I was looking forward to Session 4
because it was on Anger... I don't have the book so I was just following along... between the 2 blogs.