Where every Tuesday we will begin discussing the newest book written by the beloved
If you have done a blog study with me before then you know what we do, but if you haven't then you just need to get a copy of this book and join right in at your own pace!
Here are some FYI's of the YES to GOD studies.
This morning I got off work and we had to leave town by 7:30 to meet with Gene's surgeon in Omaha. I will have an update later this week, but there is more back surgery coming very soon. Three major surgeries in one year.
Job back on the market.
Disability pays 60% of his pay.
No paychecks for the next 3 weeks from his job.
Another 6-9 months of recovery coming his way.
We got home and Gene asked if we could pray together and pray we did.
We are choosing to keep our focus on Jesus and Jesus alone.
None of the stuff above.
Not easy, but it is a must that we keep Jesus Christ as our main visual target.
Because really, He is the only One Who is in control.
I'll be back later in the week to share more about our incredible God.
Okay...let's get to it.
IN MY HEART
CHAPTER 1: TRYING TO BE GOOD ENOUGH
Anything in blue is a quote from the book.
People label and categorize so they can define who fits where and with whom, but I had neither the spiritual depth nor the mental maturity to break free.
So, trying to become more acceptable, more worthy, more lovable became my pattern, and worrying about what others thought of me a consuming, often condemning way of doing life. Their opinions were my measuring stick by which to answer the question, "Who am I?"
I have done this in my own life. I have changed who I was to become what I thought I was supposed to be and lost myself in the process. Letting others dictate who you are is such a dangerous game to play.
Throughout the first pages of this chapter, Lysa shares her story with us.
Her very absent yet present Dad.
Her 3 year sexual abuse from someone close.
Her parents' divorce.
Her Mom's remarriage.
Her new siblings.
The loss of her little sister.
Her loss causing her to feel forgotten by God.
With my fist raised toward heaven, I vowed I would never love God, serve God, or believe in God again.
The thought that I wasn't good enough was more than just a feeling. It had become the filter through which I processed life.
Letting go of saving herself for marriage.
Looking for love in all the wrong places.
Life became a wild party full of temporary moments of happiness. The deeper I sank into this lifestyle, the more desperate I felt.
Walking into an abortion clinic as a mother.
Walking out of it with an empty womb.
I went home that day horrified at who I'd become.
Paraphrasing Lysa's story so much of my own life passed before me.
I never had a Dad who didn't love me...I have an incredible Dad.
But trying to fill my life with the wrong kind of love...been there, done that.
That is such an empty lifestyle and the ironic part is that you just want to be loved,
accepted and wanted.
Life outside of God's plan for my life is by far, the biggest risk I have ever taken.
A risk that had horrible consequences and have left terrible scars on my heart.
Lysa goes on to share much more with us, but I really got this part of the chapter when she talked about
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Seeking with all your heart requires more than just the routine Christian good girl checklist:
Read the Bible.
Do a Bible study.
Go to church.
I can't count how many times I have filled myself up with all that stuff and yet still feel empty.
I need those things in my life, but that can't be it.
My life has to be filled with Jesus.
I can tell when I'm distant from God, by choice and I have to reel myself in and re-focus.
In this world it is too easy to become distracted.
True fulfillment is never found in seeking to do enough, be enough, have enough, know enough, or accomplish enough.
I have a feeling God is going to use this book to take me to a new place in our relationship. I'm so willing Lord...
Next Tuesday~chapter 2.
Also, please take the poll about this study on the sidebar. Your input is very important. It's underneath the picture of Lysa's book on the sidebar.
If you have something posted on your blog about this chapter, please sign up below so we can visit you.
Check out the encouraging word Lysa left you in the comments.