WRITE FROM THE HEART

I must have Jesus in my whole life

2011-09-24T03:15:00.002-05:00

I wanted to share this, but can't pull it off of blogger, so I can't put it on my new blog or on Facebook except to link it here.

Anyway, in 2009 our daughter Alivia, then 8, sang in our old church. She was so nervous and we prayed about it the whole week.
The words she sang are

"I must have Jesus in my whole life.
I must have Jesus in my life.
In my walking, in my talking, in my sleeping, in my waking, I must have Him in my life."

I hope He is in your whole life.
Better yet, I hope He's your life.

Blessings,

I'm MOVING!

2011-07-05T18:29:00.002-05:00

Guess what?

After almost 4 years, I'm moving!

Write from the Heart has come to an end so

go visit me at my new blog here.

See you soon!

Just Ask

2011-06-14T17:09:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago the Lincoln Public Schools district office burned down.

Completely destroyed.

Today, I had to call the temporary office to ask some questions.

In the midst of sorrow and loss, Jean, who answers the phone has made a deliberate choice to rise above.

She answered the phone with one question:

"How may I serve you?"

Usually when you call an office you're asked how they can help you, but serve you?
It took me off guard and got me thinking.

Sometimes when I talk to God I just ask.

Days can go by when I may not even praise, just ask.

Ask for help, guidance or relief for my husband who is in chronic pain.

Ask for interference in a friend or one of my kids' life who is seeking anything but You.

Ask for peace, wisdom, insight and energy.

Salvation has been given from asking.

Forgiveness has been granted from my asking.

Grace has been poured over my undeserving self from asking.

I ask. Sometimes He answers. Sometimes He tells me to be still and just know.

Know that He is God. That He is able.

But I can honestly tell you in all my asking with hopeful gain I have never simply asked Him

"How may I serve You?"

So today...

I praise.

And I humbly ask,

"Lord, how may I serve You?"

Like Charlie Sheen says...WINNING!

2011-06-05T16:30:00.004-05:00

My sister Michelle said something the other day while we were in the car together that stayed put in my mind.

"I wonder if God ever looks at us and says, you're too much."

We live in a world that we can dismember a baby while God's in the midst of forming him or her.

We can break every vow we took on our wedding day and make walking out on our family
look like an exercise.

We live in a world that

a woman can go out on the town with no plan and the next morning a pharmacist can hand her Plan B over the counter and erase her night of irresponsibility before she leaves the store.

We can fill our arteries with heart stopping fast food made by a teenager that just returned from a smoke break.

We can go broke living beyond our means no matter the cost to keep up with the Jones', the Smith's and the Johnson's trying to portray what we want others to see and yet be a mess within the walls of our heart.

We live in a world that

has low morals and and high teen pregnancy and crime.
Where morons are trying to take God out of the school, the state and get Him off of our radios.

Being a Christian in today's world is not easy.

But He never said it would be.

When the media didn't have something meaningful like Alabama or Joplin to focus on,
they gave us hours of Charlie Sheen and his ridiculous lifestyle while he yelled "Winning".

Such a clear picture of what Satan must think and do.

When a Daddy confesses to secrets he thought he could hide from his wife and kids all while attending church because God is just a religion...Winning!

When a woman overturns her belief in abortion so her life won't be inconvenienced...Winning!
When a teen turns to drugs instead of the Jesus inside of them...Winning!

And yet in the midst of crazy, our God doesn't look down and say "you're too much" but instead says
"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you".

He sees us for who we are and wants relationship with us in spite of ourselves.

He endured the beatings, the torture and the cross for us.
He stuck to God's Plan A and was carried into that grave dead to walk out alive
with the hope that we would accept His sacrifice and choose to spend eternity with Him.

And when we do choose Him all the angels shout...

WINNING!

And through the tears of my grateful heart all I can manage to whisper is...
What an amazing Savior.

Blessings,

Legacy...What kind will be left?

2011-05-14T17:36:00.052-05:00

My friend & neighbor Mary Beth has taken care of her Dad, Dell, in their home for the last 10 years.
Last Saturday afternoon she told Gene that he was now on hospice so we should say our goodbyes.
Alivia was at my sister's house and came home right away so she could go see him. Her and Grandpa Dell as he was called, were very close. 86 years apart and they had such a special bond. Click here to read their story.

He had a stroke about a week before and wasn't able to talk so along with Mary Beth, Gene and Alivia and I stood next to him and held his hands. As Gene prayed over him, I had my arm around Alivia and tears slid off her pretty nose. When I told him I loved him there was no response, but when Alivia did, he kissed her cheek twice, it was so sweet. Sunday afternoon Alivia went to see him again and came home and said he gave her a kiss again. Hours later at 9:39pm, surrounded by his entire family, Grandpa Dell's eternity began.
Exactly what he had wanted.

Thursday we went to his celebration of life.
His son-in-law Keith, Mary Beth's husband who is a pastor, spoke and did a beautiful job.
I sat there listening to all the funny stories shared and memories each family member had wanted said about their Dad and Grandpa.
The consistency within in each memory was Jesus.

I learned that Dell's desire to be with Jesus wasn't just in his latter years, but that he wanted to go from the time he invited Jesus to be his Savior.

I learned how he and his bride Ruth would pass out Bibles and how he'd leave a big tip for a waitress or waiter in a Bible saying "they're going to have to open their Bible to get their tip".

They joked about the hitchhikers he would pick up and how the passenger probably "couldn't wait to get out of the car away from this crazy man talking about end times". We laughed when Keith said how whenever someone died and they told Dell, he'd accuse them of "cutting in line before him".

But most of all, I heard of his love for Jesus Christ.
I heard his legacy.
And being his neighbor, I was blessed to see it first hand too.

Clearly, Grandpa Dell was all about Jesus.
He wanted the rapture to happen the minute he accepted Christ as his Savior
Family or friend, neighbor or stranger, son or daughter, in-law or grandchild was going to hear of Jesus whether you wanted to or not.
Keith shared how the grand kids remember seeing him in God's Word all of the time.
How his meal time prayers would go on so long the food would get cold.
And how he was generous beyond the imagination.

I have been to many funerals, but I can honestly say it was the first one that I left feeling a little jealous of the deceased because he sincerely wanted death so he could live with Jesus.

I love Jesus Christ, but have never expressed a desire to want to die to be with Him. "Die to self" I've said before but I've never wished for my physical death.
Sitting there listening to the stories about my neighbor, I realized that I didn't have the same zeal for Jesus that Dell had. I want to be with Jesus, but not to the point of leaving this earth right now.
And this man did.
He wanted to give up everything here to be with Jesus there.

Now, don't miss the point here.
Grandpa Dell loved his family deeply and he loved being with his family. But he loved God more.
He knew God is the Author of life and He is the One to write our final chapter and so his death would happen on God's timing. Knowing that though didn't stop his prayers urging God to pen the words THE END.
He didn't obsess with death, instead, he just desired for his eternal life to start.
He lived the life God gave him well and without a doubt heard the welcome words of his Father, Well done good and faithful servant.

At other funerals, I have been so saddened by the loss that celebration was far from my mind.
But as I sat in the pew Thursday and laughed at the family stories, I felt no guilt from being happy for him. Tears filled my eyes at the beautiful Chris Tomlin song, "I Will Rise" that was sung and I came to the conclusion that it was easier to celebrate his passing because he really wanted to go.

Since Thursday, I've been thinking about the legacy I'm leaving my children and grandchildren.
The thing is that we all might not stick around until we're 95 like Grandpa Dell did...against his will, I might add. :)

We may not have years to get it right.

So as of today...

What kind of legacy will you leave?

I want to get to the point of being so deep with Jesus that my desire to be with Him out weighs my desire to get things done on earth or get my ducks in a row.

Just like Grandpa Dell.

Last Monday, the day after Grandpa Dell died, I received an e-mail from Proverbs 31 Ministries updating me on my scholarship for She Speaks. On this update they list each gift giver's name.
As I scrolled down the page, I praised the Lord for such generous souls with tear filled eyes.
I burst into tears when I read the last name on the list: Dell Sand. Our sweet neighbor, Grandpa Dell.
Later that evening in conversation with his daughter, I thanked her for the gift in his memory.
She said, "Oh no, I sent that in for him a week and a half before he died".

What a gift.
What a man.
What a life.
What a legacy.

Thank you Grandpa Dell for believing in me. Have fun with Jesus and your beloved Ruthie.
And thank you for the friendship you and Alivia shared; she will miss you forever and never forget you.

Alivia and Grandpa Dell, a week before his homecoming unable to flash that handsome smile due to the stroke.

Love,

Come follow Me, He said.

2011-05-04T18:58:00.012-05:00

I really love the Bible.
I was reading John 1 the other day and keep thinking about a few verses.

In verse 43 it tells us how Jesus was walking along and He had just told Philip, "Come, follow me."

The next verse doesn't mention anything else than the name of his hometown.
But in verse 45 it says that Philip went to look for Nathanel and he told him about Jesus.

Philip went to look for Nathanel and told him, We have found

the very person Moses and the prophets wrote about! His name is Jesus, the son of Joseph from Nazareth."

Nathanael was unsure of all Philip said and in his words...

"Nazareth!" exclaimed Nathanel. "Can anything good come from Nazareth?"

"Come and see for yourself," Philip replied.

I love that. He simply invited Nathanael to see Jesus for himself.

My commentary says this: Nathanael couldn't fathom that such a significant person as the Messiah could come from such an insignificant place as Nazareth.

But this is the part that is getting to me.

Verses 47-48

When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, He said of him, "Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false."

"How do You know me?" Nathanael asked.

Jesus answered, "I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you."

I know my past. I know what I've done and where I've been.

And so does Jesus.
How do you know me?

Before He called my name He knew me and He saw me while I lived my life away from Him.

And still He said, "Come, follow me Lelia."

I have no idea of what your past is like, but Jesus does.

He knew you while you were still______________________and He loves you anyway.

No matter what your past looks like, He wants you to follow Him.

Because He knows when we do, He can take all the ugliness of our choices and use them for His glory.
And He also knows that just like Philip, we won't want to keep Him to ourselves.
We'll seek people out and extend a gentle invitation for them to "come and see for yourself" just how great He is.

Blessings & Hugs,

Finally some wisdom sets in

2011-04-28T09:03:00.008-05:00

This Sunday is the Lincoln Marathon.

We live very close to the route of the marathon and after 12 years you think we'd learn where not to go. One Sunday a few years ago, the kids and I were at church waiting for Gene to show up. I waited and waited alone in the sanctuary and no husband. At that time Gene didn't believe in cell phones so I had no idea what had happened to him.

We returned home after service to find out that he had only made it 3 blocks from our home and spent over an hour just sitting in traffic unable to go through the intersection due to so many runners. The wait was so long he turned off his truck and just sat there in frustration watching the runners pass by him.

This week I received an e-mail warning us of the traffic delays caused by the marathon. Here is the first paragraph: The goal of this e-mail is to make people aware that ingress/egress to

downtown is best from the east on Vine, Q, P, or O Street once the
runners clear 16th at the start. Also that motorists can avoid long
delays trying to cross Capitol Parkway by actually looping around it.

The words you find consistent throughout the rest of the e-mail are: busy, delay, divert, congestion, very difficult.

So often in life, I have found myself in a place that I have wondered, how did I get here? Places that have caused me frustration. Just like this e-mail warning us to not go certain places, God warns us in the Bible of places that aren't good for us.

In Proverbs 5:7-8 He tells us to stay away from adultery: Now then, my sons, listen to me; do not turn aside from what I say. Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house.

And yet affairs happen every day.

In 1 Peter 5:8 we're strongly warned of the devil: Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

And yet we're in shock when we are under attack.

Throughout God's Word, we have warnings of what can happen to us if we go places we aren't supposed to be whether in person or in our mind. And yet, we let go of God's hand and wander off on our own path of destruction.

Over and over again.

When we do this we get very busy with meaningless things.

We divert others from getting to know our Jesus.

We get caught in the congestion of sin and the consequences of it.

And when we part from God, our life is very difficult.

We have to take our Father's words to heart and learn from our bad choices instead of repeating them.

So many times we are repeat offenders for years before we realize that this just isn't working for us. As the

e-mail above suggests, let's loop around the plans that Satan has for us and stay on course with God's plans for our lives.

After 12 years of getting stuck in traffic and either missing church or being late, we have finally caught on. We'll be at church at 6pm on Saturday night this year. And on Sunday you'll find us 3 blocks from our home in lawn chairs cheering on our brave friends running in front of frustrated motorists.

Blessings,

*Also...those that have contributed to helping me get to the Proverbs 31 Ministries writer/speaker conference this summer whether by prayer or finances...I am humbled, blessed and have been brought to many tears. Thank you so much for believing in this woman in Nebraska.

May God bless you in ways you can't imagine like He has me.

Love,

Lelia

Two Miles

2011-04-21T20:49:00.005-05:00

Last night I watched American Idol and Jacob sang a song by Luther Vandross called "Dance with my Father Again". Before singing, he shared how when he was 12 years old his Dad died.
At the end of the song, judge Steven Tyler made the comment, "Your Daddy was up there listening to you."

I don't know if it's manners or what, but I hear this kind of thing often said about people that have died. People just assume that the person that passed away went to heaven, that they're "up there".
And we can't blame them. It would have been absurd for Steven Tyler to say, "You're Daddy was down there listening to you." So in our attempt to say the right thing and ease the pain, we paint this picture that when you die, you are heaven bound.

But let's put our manners aside for a second and get real with one another.

The only way to heaven is through Jesus Christ.

We cannot wish our way to heaven.

We cannot be good enough and get to heaven.

Heaven is our eternal dwelling because of our choice of Jesus.

It's not a prize we get after we exhale our last breath.

Those in heaven are there because of the choice they made to believe that Jesus Christ is more than just a nice guy. They confessed to being a sinner and accepted the free gift of salvation from God.

Twenty years ago on December 16th, after throwing a successful surprise birthday party for her Mom Carol, my beautiful friend Jennifer left the party. Two short miles from her childhood home, her car was struck by a drunk driver and she was killed at 18 years old. A week before Christmas, tragedy rocked our world.

I just talked to Carol on Jen's 40th birthday, April 6th. We always talk about Jen and wonder what she is up to and we can say with confidence that she is looking down on us.
It's not just something said that makes Carol feel good. It's a truth that fills Carol with hope because she knows without a doubt in her heart, she'll see her girl again.
All because Jennifer accepted Jesus Christ and the gift of His life on the cross. A choice that changed where she'd spend eternity. She didn't put off asking Jesus to be hers. And because of her choice, there has not been one time in the last 20 years that we've wondered where Jennifer is.

We have to confess our sins, ask Jesus to forgive us and choose Jesus and if we don't, heaven is not where we'll go. Many wait on this decision because they think they have to "get cleaned up first" and be perfect before they make this choice. But Jesus wants us as is now not later.

The next time you leave your house,
what if your life ends just 2 miles down the road?

Where will you spend eternity?

I'd be a fool to assume everyone who reads this blog has a relationship with Jesus Christ.
If you have never invited Him into your life, I want to encourage you not to wait.
He is worth getting to know.
My girlfriends over at Proverbs 31 Ministries have an incredible page on their website that walks you through responding to the free gift from God. Click HERE if you want to learn how to make a decision that will change where you spend eternity.

Easter is upon us and many will hear about Jesus for the first time
and how He died on the cross for our sins.
And rose 3 days later.

Will they choose Him today or save Salvation for another day?

I hope they choose Him today,

for we never know when we're traveling the last 2 miles of our life on earth.

~Many Blessings~

No connection at this time

2011-04-19T22:31:00.007-05:00

My Dad, Acey used to be on Facebook.
Until he got annoyed with all the posts that notified him every time someone made a move or drove through a Starbucks.

Still thinking he was MIA on FB, imagine my shock when I saw this on my sister Michelle's Facebook page...

Acey Jane
I love ya, kid, Dad

Excited, I remembered that I had requested to be friends a long time ago, but since he had stopped any interaction on FB I thought my request got lost.
So I looked and I put my request for friendship in again and I waited.
And waited.
Then I was on my high school friends' page and saw he is my Dad's friend.
Then I saw Dad recently became friends with this kid at our church.

So I did what any confused daughter would do.
I clicked on the ADD FRIEND button to re-request my dear Dad to be my friend.
Only to get this instant rejection message...

Isn't it good to know that when we pray and try to connect to God we don't have to worry about getting this kind of message?

Jeremiah 29:12-13 tells us that when we pray to God, He will listen and when seek Him with ALL of our heart, He WILL be found. We may have to quiet ourselves enough to hear from Him and it may not be the answer we were hoping for, but one thing we know for sure is there won't be a delay in connection. He will be found for those who seek. We won't get a message back that says You have already sent a request to connect.

As of today, April 19, 2011 my Dad and I are still Facebook strangers.
Michelle's profile picture of the 3 of us mocks me every time she visits my page.
Ignoring my friend request is not a smart move 2 months before Father's Day!
Hopefully his FB BFF/daughter Michelle will take over my tradition and take him Key Lime pie!

Thank You Lord, that You are a Father that connects to His children!

Blessings,

P.S. Michelle, send Dad a FB message that I love him. :)

UPDATE: As of 3:10pm my Dad & I are now Facebook Friends!
The threat of no pie must have got the best of him. :) Love you Dad!

Missing out...for nothing

2011-04-14T14:57:00.001-05:00

As a Mom, I want my kids to grow up to be respectful adults.
And in order to not have spoiled kids, parents must discipline their children.
Give them consequences that sink in deep enough that there won't be a next time.

This weekend is my son's first prom and he isn't able to go.
And honestly, it's killing me.
When I think of all the fun he'll be missing out on it breaks my heart.
I want to put the consequences on hold and just tell him to go and make good memories and choices this time, but I know this season of discipline is best for him.

He's my only son and I have thought of the day where he'd be dressed in a tux looking handsome. And then I'd make him mad at me because I want just one more picture of him and his beautiful date. But because of his choices I'm stuck with heartache instead of pictures and probably a teenager that will try his best to be unpleasant.

This has me thinking of all the choices I've made as an adult and I wonder...

what have I missed out on from my Father?

What plans has God had for me that I sabatoged for nothing and had miserable consequences instead of blessing?

Oh Lord...forgive me, nothing is worth choosing sin over You.

If Aaron is rude this weekend, perhaps I'll try squeezing into my prom dress from the 80's and ask him to dance with me.

That should adjust his attitude.

Me...write a book and speak? Are you crazy????

2011-04-13T09:45:00.038-05:00

UPDATE (6/20/11) Thank you so much those who contributed financially and also for all the prayers in getting me to She Speaks. God is so amazing! I am heading to She Speaks because my scholarship was fully funded with enough that I am blessed to be able to go the day before to get settled and prepared for the conference that starts on Friday, July 21st. And a blog friend/sister in Christ asked me to be her roommate so I'm able to stay at the conference hotel. THANK YOU & may God bless you above and beyond!

Since November 2007 I've written here on my blog.
I'm amazed at all God has taught me.

Being a writer and speaker wasn't my childhood dream.
Over the last 20 years of writing God has showed me as I grow up in Him that speaking and writing is exactly what He has in mind for me.

Shortly after starting my blog, God would allow our family to go through uncharted territories. Unfamiliar paths to us, but no surprise to Him.
On this blog He has prompted me to share things that I wanted to keep secret to my grave.
He has loved on me and my family though fellow bloggers and readers and used them to teach me much.
He has connected me to wonderful people through this blog.
People that have given me unconditional love, support and prayers and have been a huge encouragement in my life.
Some people I know and many I have never met.
I am so thankful for each of you.

Although the last 3 years have been tough, God has used the trials to teach us how to trust Him and rely fully on Him. We have experienced not only heartache, but much joy as we learned how to praise Him in the storm. The blessings He has poured down on us have been amazing.

Over and over again God has proven to be our
Provider, Great Physician, Comforter, Wonderful Counselor and the great
I AM.
Honestly, I wouldn't trade where I'm at with God for an easier path.
He has been worth every step and He is so worth trusting.
As He has grown me spiritually, He has given me growth in my writing.
Doors have opened that should never be opened to a woman with my history.
And yet, my Doorman Who has been holding open the doors, is the only One capable of washing me white as snow as I walk through them.

One thing I've been asked over time is "when are you going to write a book?" and in the last 2 years I've been asked if I speak at women's retreats. A few years ago, I was invited to lead a class at a retreat on writing and I invited a friend to help me. Looking back, I see how God was giving me a taste of where He wants to take me.

Which brings me to where I'm at today. I feel strongly God is moving me in the direction of more writing and to start speaking. To learn more in this area of ministry, the Lord has laid it on my heart to attend the She Speaks Conference in July 2011.

She Speaks is a life-changing conference held in North Carolina for women seeking to step out in the passion God has placed in their heart.

Hosted by Proverbs 31 Ministries, She Speaks encourages and equips women to make the most of their messages, communicating God's Word to others. It is a conference led by Christian women and each track is designed to fan the flame of what God has burning inside me.

She Writes: (Writers Track) From basic writing guidelines to preparing an article or manuscript for submission and everything in between. In addition, the opportunity to meet one-on-one with some of the top editors, publishers, and literary agents in the Christian market.

She Speaks: (Speakers Track) Whether speaking in a large arena or leading Bible studies in church, participants will be equipped with the tools needed to effectively share the Word of God, create a bio sheet, market her ministry, and give successful presentations.

My first step is to raise funds which I am in the process of doing now.
*Gulp*
Will you prayerfully consider helping me through a financial contribution towards a scholarship? If you feel led to join me in this exciting call, there are two ways to participate.

Call Proverbs 31 Ministries at 877-731-4663 to contribute by credit card; or send a check payable to Proverbs 31 Ministries to:

Proverbs 31 Ministries

She Speaks Scholarship/Lelia Chealey

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

Please be sure to designate the scholarship in my name in order to credit my scholarship fund.

You will be receipted for your tax-deductible donation.

For more information you can visit the She Speaks website by clicking HERE.

Whether or not you can help financially, most importantly please keep me in your prayers as I step forward in faith. Thank you!

Excited. Scared. Humbled. Thankful. READY.
If I wait until I think I have it "all together", I'll never follow His lead.

Many Blessings,

*If you have a room at the conference hotel and need a roommate, please let me know. The hotel is all sold out, but I'm on the waiting list. Thank you!

My new Un-comfort level

2011-04-06T12:01:00.007-05:00

This morning Gene and I were talking about us. And Jesus.
Right now our church is doing a 21 Days of Prayer and Fasting.
But we're not. We haven't.
We never have. And so we started talking about it. Trying to justify our "why" of not doing it. Why we are choosing to not model sacrifice to get closer to God to our kids.

And I began to share with my husband. Things I had just said inside my heart to Jesus. The tears fell and the lump in my throat got in the way of the words I tried speaking.

Putting aside our weak justifications we began to get real with one another. Why we didn't start a fast on Sunday is because honestly, we don't want discomfort.
We want Jesus to use us at our comfort level.

This past summer my mom's 63 year old brother committed a crime. His first one. One that the judge sentenced him last month to 30-40 years. Don't let your mind jump to wondering what he did that would give him such a lengthy sentence. If you go there, just leave my blog now because you'll miss the whole point of this post.

My uncle has a family that he loves. Adult kids, grandkids and a beautiful wife that remains faithful to her vows and his BFF. He loves fishing with my Grandpa. He loves cooking and hunting with his grandson. He loves telling jokes. He had a new truck that he bought last spring with all of the bells and whistles. When he bought something it was the best of the best.
Now, all of his personal belongings, including his shoes, must fit into a space of 4 cubic feet in a small cell.

He made fun of the faith my Mom boldly shared all the years she was the saved minority in her family. He rolled his eyes at any mention of God at family gatherings. He didn't believe in "organized religion" he would daily tell me. He refused to acknowledge that his own Mom is a miracle when every organ doctor she had signed off on her life and gave her 3-24 hours to live in the summer of 2002. She's still alive. He considered Jesus to be the head of the "organized religion" he wanted no part of.

Until the summer of 2010 when caught in his crime he turned to Jesus.
I didn't believe his conversion at first.
Most people behind bars stumble upon God.
But this was different.
He wasn't behind bars yet when he turned to his Savior.
He still had his freedom and he chose to accept the gift of salvation.
He repented, truly repented and was forgiven.
And he went from not reading even the newspaper to being in his new crisp paged Bible for hours. He started going to church. He got baptized with his wife and Mom last fall. He'd cry talking about Jesus. At the begining he'd talk about choosing suicide over prison. But even as thoughts of ending his life he kept reading the his Bible. He welcomed his pastor over to lead a Bible study with his 80 year old parents every Tuesday.
And Jesus stood triumphantly over his enemy.

I received a letter from him on Monday. A letter addressed to me on the outside of the envelope but solely written to Aaron, our teenage son that Satan is having his way with to put it bluntly. Aaron has been in trouble with the law and here is part of the letter from my uncle:

"Aaron, Please-Please don't go down the wrong path.
I'm sitting here trying to write this to you crying like a little baby.
I thank God every minute for my family and all the love they have shown me and I know they show the same for you.
Don't turn your back on God or your family.
I am sitting in a cell just crying and wishing I could be with my family.
Don't throw away what you have.
It's hard becoming a man---
But with God's help and the people that love you,
you will be a fine young man.

Please keep your act together.
You would never want to come to a place like this,
it is the closest thing to hell on earth there is.
Stop and thank the Lord you have a family that loves you so much.

Don't give up on God."

That's just a piece of this hand written 2 page letter sent to our son.

I look at how my uncle is living today compared to how he lived the first 63 years of life and he has more freedom now in a small cell than he did when he was camping, fishing and hunting when and where he wanted to.

He may never see his name on another fishing license again, but because of his choice to accept Jesus, he will see his name written in the Book of Life.
Freedom only God can give.

I told Gene this morning that I want to be Uncomfortable for Jesus.

If Jesus took on the flesh again and walked up to my front door, knocked and said, "Follow Me" like he did to the disciples, I want to go WITHOUT hesitation.
Gene shared too and we agreed that we both want this new un-comfort level.
I have never been in this place of complete and I stress complete desire for surrender until now. To the point that it hurts.

This life on earth....

Temporary

A mist

Here today, gone tomorrow

Too comfortable.

I don't want to waste another minute.

I want my life to be just about Him.

To go where He says to go.

To be obedient when He speaks through my pastor asking me to fast.

I want to be Uncomfortable for Jesus.

A Savior that is able to capture the hardened heart of my uncle and then use him in his uncomfortableness. A God who has His holy radar locked on my son from the walls of prison.

That's the Jesus I want to live for and be usable for.

You are seen

2011-04-04T11:00:00.008-05:00

Do you ever feel like one in a million in the Kingdom of God?

Like He isn't paying attention to you at all?

A few years ago, Gene was really struggling, unbeknown to me. He's a man of incredible faith and loves the Lord with all of his heart, soul, mind, strength and even bad back. But after being in months of constant pain and continuous back surgeries, he didn't want to pray anymore about his back. He felt like he was just bothering God and he even stopped reading his Bible.

Working a night job and a day job and having very busy mornings, I failed to notice that he was watching TV instead of reading his Bible first thing after waking like he had forever. I didn't notice how down he was due to me being in my own world.

But God did.

One Sunday morning we were getting ready for church and nothing was going right. It was just one of those mornings.We had our granddaughter Amiyah with us and when we arrived at church I realized we had no diapers. When I told Gene and Alivia to go ahead inside and I'd be back after making a trip to the store for diapers, Gene threw his hands up and said, "Let's just go home". I had noticed at home that he was in a different kind of mood, but him throwing his hands up was out of his character. The urge to go into church was strongly on me, so I decided to see if the nursery had diapers instead of leaving. So into the house of God we walked, frustrated husband in tow.

I sent Alivia to children's church and Gene sat in the back of the sanctuary waiting for me. I went to the nursery and wouldn't you know, the package of diapers on top of the changing table belonging to the church just happened to be Amiyah's size? I changed her quickly and left her in good hands. As I was walking toward the sanctuary I looked up at the big screen TV in the lobby as I heard a familiar voice ask if my husband was present.

I stopped and watched as Linda, a woman in the church stood at the microphone. She was about to sing a song, but before she did she felt the Lord wanted her to give Gene a message. Keep in mind, nobody but God knew what Gene was going through inside.

She said,

"Gene Chealey...I just wanted to encourage you.
You've been on my heart a lot lately.
I know you're a Dallas Cowboy fan and so am I, but I just want to tell you I feel like the Lord is speaking to me to tell you not to give up.
To keep on keeping on.
Don't give up hope.
Many are they that say of my soul there is no help for him in God, but thou oh Lord are my glory and the lifter up of my head. (Psalm 3:2-3).
And He wants you to know...He doesn't want you to give up.
Keep running the race man and don't give up.
Don't give up."

I stood there smiling thinking, how sweet when Gene came walking out of the sanctuary with tears covering his face and neck and a bewildered look on his face. He just fell into my arms and began to tell me of how he had been struggling. How he didn't even want to come to church that morning. How he hadn't opened his Bible in over a week.

That morning God let Gene know.
I see you.
I see the struggle you're having.
I see depression trying to wrap itself around you.
I see the pain you're in 24 hours of your day.
BUT.
Do. Not. Give. Up.
Seek Me.
Let Me lift your head.
Because I see you Gene Chealey.
And I love you so much that I'm going to give this woman a message straight from my heart to yours since I can't give it from a closed Bible.
I see you my son.

That moment changed the course of Gene's focus that morning and got him back in God's Word. Gave him a deeper love for his Savior. Took his level of belief to a height Gene had never known before.

WHATEVER you are going through that makes you feel forgotten by your Savior, know and believe that God sees you. He loves you and no matter what circumstance you face, He wants you to keep seeking Him. Keep walking with Him through it.

Gene would be the first to tell you He is worth anything He allows you to endure.

If anyone knows how to get a wpm file onto blogger, let me know. I have the clip of God's message through Linda, I just don't know how to get it on here & we'd love to share it with you.

I believe

2011-03-26T11:39:00.004-05:00

This morning I'm sitting at my kitchen table and through the window I see snow falling.

On March 26th, 6 days after the calendar announced Spring Begins.

We just ended our spring break and it looks like winter break instead.

Green grass laced with white snowflakes is such a strange sight.

Right now we are dealing with some heavy stuff with our 16 year old son Aaron.

Things that make his Mamma's heart break and ache.

When I look at his choices and how we raised him I find no common ground.

Right now our son is like snow in the spring.

It shouldn't be.

It doesn't belong.

Doesn't make sense.

This morning I have my Bible opened to 1 Samuel about Hannah and Samuel.

The son she wanted, prayed for and vowed to give to God for his whole life.

I loved this particular verse in chapter 3

19: The LORD was with Samuel as he grew up, and he let none of His words fall to the ground.

let none of His words fall to the ground

Today the only thing that will fall to the ground is the snow.

The words my God has spoken over my son will not fall to the ground.

Instead, they will fall into my restless heart and through them I will find peace as I pray them over my Prodigal.

Luke 19:10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.

Romans 10:13 for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."

I pray he does this:

Jeremiah 29:12-13 Then you (Aaron) will call on Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.

So God can have His way with Him...

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, (Aaron)," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Because of Aaron's choice to invite Jesus into his life and a few years later choose to get baptized, I believe that he will return to the Lord and what a day that will be!

Philippians 1:6a being confident of this that He who began a good work in you, (Aaron Preston Chealey) will bring it on to completion.

What are you currently facing that goes against what God has for you?

Whatever your "snow in the spring day" is, choose to focus on Jesus Christ!

Keeping our eyes on the One who can make a snowy spring day beautiful.

Get off the roof top

2011-03-21T13:47:00.001-05:00

Friday night my sister Michelle and I were getting the girls some healthy dinner at McDonald's.

While in the drive-thru line we heard quacking and looked up and saw 2 ducks sitting on the top of the

Radio Shack building.

I once heard Beth Moore tell a story of while walking her dogs they came upon some ducks playing in a mud puddle. She pointed out how just over the hill was a beautiful pond.

Her point was that sometimes we insist on playing in mud puddles when God is trying to get us into the pond.

God has bigger and better things than we can even begin to imagine.

We need to stop constricting Him and let Him have His way with our lives.

It's time to let Him wash the mud off of us and get us into the pond and do the unimaginable!

3 miles from the roof of Radio Shack is Holmes Lake.

Looks like some of Dumb & Dumber's friends chose the good life.

Isaiah 55:8 (NLT)

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD.

"And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine."

Have a blessed day,

I don't want more of God anymore

2011-03-16T16:14:00.002-05:00

One thing I've said on my blog, in my heart and out loud a lot is that "I want more of God".

Today I take that back.

This past weekend Gene and I attended Family Life's Weekend to Remember conference. We've helped with it for the last 6 years and attended a total of 7 years and we strongly believe what they teach at these conferences has been the very tool God has used to save our marriage. But this year I learned something different that had everything to do with me being the bride of Christ instead of the bride of Gene.

It was Saturday afternoon and we were at the end of session 5: What Every Marriage Needs: God's Power for Oneness. The last page of the session there was this sentence that wouldn't leave me.

As we grow, we don't get more of God...

He gets more of us.

No longer will I ask God to surrender to me, instead I will ask Him to help me surrender all to Him.

I can't get enough of His Word and the more He gets in me, the more I am usable to Him.

Have Your way Sweet Jesus, have Your way in this woman with a past only You could forgive and find a way to use for Your glory. I love You more now than I did even an hour ago.

The new yearning in my heart.

As I grow, I don't get more of God...

He gets more of me.

She Speaks contest winner...to be or not to be?

2011-03-11T04:34:00.006-06:00

I'm hoping to attend the She Speaks Christian conference this summer for women interested in speaking, writing and/or women's ministry.

This is my entry for a chance to win 1 of 2 scholarships being offered.

More information regarding the conference is at the end of this post.

My husband Gene has always been the main provider of our family of five; often working 13 hour days between both of his jobs. Three years ago life as we knew it changed for what we thought would be a short season. Over time we would see that God had something else in mind for us.

April 3, 2008 Gene had back surgery and after 3 nights in a hospital an hour away from our family he was discharged. On April 9th, I left Gene in bed to recover and rest while I took our teenage daughter to a hospital and witnessed the birth of our first granddaughter. As summer came to a close, I realized my husband wouldn't be returning to work anytime soon, so I kept my day job and got an overnight job to help pay for medical bills and diapers. April 2009 my husband had a second back surgery and in June our daughter had her second little girl.

Two surgeries, two grand babies and two jobs.

This was not the happily ever after I had dreamed of living out.

In the fall of 2007 I stumbled upon a blog written by Rachel Olsen of Proverbs 31 Ministries. I had never heard of either and was captivated by not only her writing, but the ministry itself. P31 offers free, encouraging devotions sent daily by e-mail, an affordable monthly magazine that focuses on God and blogs written by some down to earth, godly women. The ministry also offers an annual conference called She Speaks to equip writers, speakers and women with a passion for ministry. The summer of 2008 I attended my first She Speaks in Concord, North Carolina registered for the writer's sessions.

I remember sitting in my first session and the speaker told us how we needed a platform such as a book, a ministry or writing for magazines. It was as if Ms. Insecurity suddenly took a seat beside me and began to whisper doubt into my ear. As tears began to fill my eyes I realized I lacked a platform and I began to question the why of my presence at a writers conference. Who was I to waste the time of the publisher's I was to meet with the next day, one of them being the man speaking about platforms. And then he said it.

"If you have a blog, that can be your platform".

I sat straight up, blinked my tears back in and elbowed Ms. Insecurity hard enough to knock her off her chair. Instant validation.

I belonged at She Speaks and the only time being wasted was when I listened to the enemy whisper sweet nothings in my ear. I was right where God wanted me to be and He had already given me a platform; I just didn't know it until that moment.

Before I ever stepped foot in North Carolina, God had given me the idea of doing Bible studies and I was excited about hosting one in my home. Since God knew surgery and a grand baby would bloom in the spring, He closed a door I thought He had opened and it left me confused and frustrated. After reading "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God" by Lysa TerKeurst, the idea of leading a Bible study re-surfaced, but it was clear I was to do it on my blog instead of in my home.

My first online blog study was a few months before She Speaks. A group of women I had only met through the internet joined me and we read and then blogged our thoughts on one chapter a week. I named the online study "Yes to God Tuesday's". After attending She Speaks, I led women through four more online studies.

I began to see the difference between my vision and what God wanted me to be doing. While I wanted to lead a small Bible study in my home, He took me around the world through my blog. I met weekly with women from all over the United States and even three women from different areas of Australia. He also introduced me to a woman in Malaysia named Sheena who wrote me to tell me how she was inspired to start her own "Yes to God" group after participating in my 3rd study.

One thing that stuck to my heart when I heard it at She Speaks was when Lysa said how after attending a conference and she was leaving, "feeling excited only to be hit with a shocking dose of reality back home."

She then encouraged us to "not resent the task of your everyday life because it is preparing you for ministry."

I don't resent the last 3 years.

I embrace them.

Grandma of two beauties before I even turned 40.

Total of 4 surgeries and being diagnosed with other health issues keeps my hard working husband unable to work.

I'm still working both jobs to make ends meet.

Not the life neither one of us had planned, but we can honestly say that we wouldn't trade where we are with Jesus for anything and of course those babies have been the biggest blessings.

The last 3 years have changed us for our good.

I have to continue to share Jesus with others, but I believe it's time to be shared outside the walls of my blog.

My blog is comfortable for me and I truly believe God is ready to change the platform again.

Currently I am not doing blog studies.

Instead, God gave me the green light to lead a group of women through the book, "Made to Crave".

I get to meet with a small group of women every Monday night.

His group.

His platform.

One amazing God.

And I want more of Him.

I hope to win a scholarship to She Speaks so that I can continue to live out the plans God has for me and I believe this Christ-centered conference will give me the tools necessary to keep moving forward. To write and speak about Jesus Christ, my One and Only.

If writing, speaking and/or women's ministry is a fire burning within the walls of your heart, don't let it blow out. Instead, let God flame the fire that He Himself lit.

Check into going to She Speaks in July.

I have no idea what your story is or what He wants you to share with others through the spoken or written word or both, but what I do know is that He is worth speaking and writing about.

Click HERE to be directed to Lysa TerKeurst's blog to read her post about the contest and how to enter no later than Friday March 11th.

Recipients of the scholarships will be announced on Monday, March 13th on Lysa's blog.

To visit the Proverbs 31 Ministry website click HERE and get signed up for the free daily devotionals.

Thank You Jesus for where You've brought me from, through and where you're taking me.

I choose to say YES even before I know what You have planned

To read more about She Speaks click HERE for all the information about this year's conference.

Blessings,

God's Word: Living and Active!

2011-02-28T18:01:00.002-06:00

Hebrews 4:12a

For the word of God is living and active.

Last week I was driving to work.

The same path I have taken for the last 11 years.

But Friday morning I noticed something different when I was stopped at the light.

I looked to my left where there is a Walgreens on the northeast corner of the intersection and noticed a white sign attached to the corner of the building.

Not a small sign so I wondered how I had missed it.

It's hard to read, but underneath Walgreens it says:

WELCOME HINKY DINKY

PHARMACY CUSTOMERS!

To the right of the Walgreens building you can see the corner of another building across the street.

A grocery store called Sun Mart.

Until 2004, Sun Mart was formerly known as Hinky Dinky.

That sign has been up there for 7 years and I just now noticed it.

A very old message.

On the way home later in the day, I saw another sign with the same message on the south side of Walgreens.

The timing of me seeing these signs is no mistake.

Instantly I thought of what Gene and I had just talked about before I left for work.

God's Word is alive.

We can't just open our Bible once in awhile and ride the coat tails of Scripture until we feel like getting a "new word". We have to be in God's Word daily.

Reading, dissecting, memorizing, pondering, seeking.

God may have a different Word for you tomorrow than He did today.

OR maybe He does want you to stay in one place until you get the message He has for you.

The 7 year old message on Walgreens was good for a season.

Walgreens pharmacy was trying to let the Hinky Dinky pharmacy customers know that they could get their meds from them.

The message is no longer relevant though since Hinky Dinky hasn't been around for 7 years.

Unlike the sign, God's Word never returns void.

Isaiah 55:11

so is my word that goes out from my mouth:

It will not return to me empty,

but will accomplish what I desire

and achieve the purpose for which I sent it

One thing I really love about the Bible, is that you can get the same verse in different seasons of your life and God will give you a completely different meaning to it.

Only a Savior has the capability of doing that.

So, don't ride the coat tails of a Word given to you heard 10 years ago.

Visit it, yes.

Remember it, absolutely.

Share it, of course.
Memorize it and embed it into your heart...a must!

But know God has many more from where that came from.

Keep moving forward because we can never get enough in our lifetime of the Word of God!

Blessings,

Time to use your get out of jail free card

2011-01-13T12:20:00.003-06:00

Back when Gene & I got married I had a friend of mine take our pictures. Her name is Deb and she's a nurse who I worked side by side for an entire year before my wedding day took place. Her hobby was taking pictures so I asked if she would photgraph our wedding.

One thing about Deb that everyone knew without a doubt was that she loves Jesus Christ. Her life had only one center and it was Jesus. All of her activities she enjoyed centered around Him, her speech centered around Him and she had no hesitancy in sharing Him with anyone.

I'll never forget this moment between us at my reception that followed the wedding. After a Christ centered wedding ceremony, Deb said, "Lelia, I didn't know you were a Christian!"
I couldn't believe she just said that to me! Not that I thought she was rude, but it's like looking at someone dressed up at the circus in big shoes, a wig, make-up and a big red nose and saying, "I didn't know you were a clown!" After the quick jolt of shock wore off I said, "What? Deb, I've been a Christian since 2nd grade!"

That short conversation never left me.
And what I realized is that Deb was looking at my life and not seeing Jesus in me. At. All.
Not one time in a year did she see Jesus Christ as the center of my life.
And it wasn't like I was choosing to keep Jesus as my best kept secret...I wasn't choosing Him at all and my life showed His absence. How dare I make my wedding about someone I hadn't even invited into my marriage.
Deb's revelation grieved me so deeply that I gave my life back over to Him.
Her words to me that day is a sentence I don't ever want to be my truth again.

Did I have times after that of turning my back on Him?
Yes, I still made bad choices, but each time I was His Prodigal, it was Him Who I missed and returned to and it was Jesus Who forgave me.

This morning my heart is weighed down for those who at one point chose Jesus as their Savior, but then like I did, they chose the world over Him and off they went.
And soon, instead of Him being their everything, He became related to nothing more than a check mark on a paper inquiring of their choice of religion. __X_Christian ___Hindu ___Muslim

This morning I asked God to give me something in His Word to read and this is what I opened up to.
I cannot tell you how He spoke to my heart through it...

1 Kings 8:46-50 (NIV)
“When they sin against you—for there is no one who does not sin—and you become angry with them and give them over to their enemies, who take them captive to their own lands, far away or near; ⁴⁷ and if they have a change of heart in the land where they are held captive, and repent and plead with you in the land of their captors and say, ‘We have sinned, we have done wrong, we have acted wickedly’; ⁴⁸ and if they turn back to you with all their heart and soul in the land of their enemies who took them captive, and pray to you toward the land you gave their ancestors, toward the city you have chosen and the temple I have built for your Name; ⁴⁹ then from heaven, your dwelling place, hear their prayer and their plea, and uphold their cause. ⁵⁰ And forgive your people, who have sinned against you; forgive all the offenses they have committed against you, and cause their captors to show them mercy;

Life without Jesus Christ as the center of your life, is living in bondage.
Recently someone we know was in jail and one thing they said was, "The toilet didn't even have a lid".
No privacy, no toilet lid, clothing marked with Lancaster County Jail on the back, handcuffs, shackled, discomfort, shame, embarrassment,...not the way a daughter or son of a King should be living. And it didn't matter that this person's family hated to see them go through this. Just because their parents wanted to step in and save their day, the parents had no say so in the matter. It was all up to the judge and also the person behind bars had to make different choices. The same way when I was away from Jesus. My parents could pray me up, but returning to Him had to be my choice.

Once we ask Christ into our life it's amazing how by choice we want to see how far we can push away God and still claim Christianity as our way of life. Maybe we hope He won't notice. Or perhaps we are so into the world that we think the things we choose over Christ won't effect our relationship with Him. The thing is, Jesus is not a choice of religion.

Every time we treat Jesus Christ as a religion, it's as if we're clutching His crown of thorns while walking through life our way and we don't even realize we have His blood on our hands because our grip on the world is so tight.

The prince of darkness does not want you to return to your Heavenly Father, but I encourage you today if you are living a life apart from Jesus to run back to Him. You will be amazed by His love for you.
He outweighs anything the devil makes look good in this world.

Stop living a life of captivity and instead choose the freedom of a King that chose death on a cross over the comfort of His throne.
He loves you that much.
No matter what kind of past or present you have, He is bigger than all of it.
Go home.

Love,

Satan's Most Wanted list

2011-01-05T10:26:00.003-06:00

The other night I was at Family Christian bookstore picking up my copy of Lysa TerKeurst's book Made to Crave. The book study I'll be leading at a coffee shop in Lincoln starts Monday, January 17th and also here on my blog starting Tuesday, the 18th. Can't wait!! If you want to join me, get your book & do so!

Anyway, I received a phone call and within an hour my Momma's heart would be crushed. No, I'm not going to be a Grandma again...that's not really a crushing of the heart anyway, that's just a temporary shock of the heart until the blessing arrives.

I'm not going to share the news my husband and I received as God has made it clear this is to stay between us, but I will ask for prayer for our family. Not trying to be dramatic, just obedient to the Lord.

Over the last 48 hours I have cried until I couldn't squeeze another tear out.

I have called out to Jesus. Over and over and over again.

I have come together in prayer with my husband, something we don't ever do consistently.

I have had my face in God's Word instead of riding the coat tails of verses I know are somewhere in the Bible. I have searched His Word. I have begged Him to give me something.

And then something major happened.

My heart tilted.

It is easy to get all dressed up and throw yourself a pity party, but I refuse.

I have ripped up the invitations and am fully going to rely on the Lord.

I have to.

We are told that our enemy, the devil, is prowling the earth out to kill, steal and destroy.

1 Peter 5:8

Be alert and of sober mind.

Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

As a believer, why would I take that lightly?

Why do I think that the "someone" God is referring to isn't me, my husband or my kids?

If I was told there was a lion prowling around in my neighborhood I would never send my kids outside to play. They'd be close to me under my protection. I'd do anything to protect my loved ones. Anything.

I'll be honest here, when I pray for my kids, I often do it on my way to work and it's usually a group prayer.

Because I'm that busy.

"Dear Lord. Please help Alyssa, Aaron & Alivia to have a good day. Amen"

Why is my hearts' desire for my children to have a "good day"?

HOW insulting to the Righteous Father Who sits upon the throne to hear such a pathetic prayer if it can even be called that, come from my lips. I give telemarketers more respect and time then I do my Savior.

How dare I insult the King of all Kings!

So am I going to up my prayer time as a New Year's Resolution?

No, because that's just a plan of failure for me.

I'm going to change my prayer life and make it a priority to spend time with God because my life as well as my family's life is on the line.

Satan wants us.

If you are a believer of Christ Jesus, you also are on Satan's most wanted list.

It is time to put on the full armor of God and let God fight the battles that will be coming your way.

Not if they'll come, when.

After a tough couple of years of learning how to rely on Jesus for what I thought was everything, it is clear to me that I missed the importance of putting on the full armor of God, praying and being in His Word...daily!

I missed it the first, second and hundredth time around, but these last 48 hours, I got it.

I need Jesus in EVERY area of my life. Big and small, He wants to be the center our entire lives.

Jesus, I need You.

I trust You and I will not focus on the circumstance in front of us right now, but instead focus on YOU.

You are so much bigger than anything Satan could ever come up with and in You we believe.

I can't wait to see what You're going to do and I promise to stay out of your way, no matter how long it takes for You to have your way.

To You be the glory.

Between Genesis and Revelation it is not one time recorded that You ever came out the loser of any battle.

As a couple, Gene and I seek You, love You and totally trust You with our lives and our children's.

And while you fight the battle on our behalf, we will do our part of sending forth our praises and prayers and trust in You.

I want to encourage you that no matter what. Let me say that again..NO. MATTER. WHAT. God is worth trusting. He is worth seeking. You will not be disappointed as you learn to trust in your Creator.

You won't.

He may not answer prayers or do things the way you would, but He knows what He is doing and if you hang in there and trust Him, His plans will be revealed and you'll find yourself in awe.

I don't know what hit you in the year of 2010, perhaps...

Car repossessed

Job lost

Home foreclosed on

Cancer

Surgeries...overall health issues

Death of a child or other loved one

Prodigal child

Having a cheating spouse

Being the cheating spouse

Financial loss

Rough marriage

Miscarriage

Regretful abortion

Depression

Loneliness in being Single

Loneliness in being Married

WHATEVER

you have gone through, know that IF you profess Jesus as your Savior and IF you cooperate with Him and trust Him even when it doesn't look like He knows what He's doing,

He WILL come through in His holy timing like no other can.

Put on the full armor of God.

For if you believe in Jesus, you are on Satan's Most Wanted List.

Live prepared.

Ephesians 6:13-19

I love You Jesus.

I do.

New Yes to God blog study: MADE TO CRAVE by Lysa TerKeurst

2011-01-03T14:39:00.006-06:00

NEW BLOG STUDY

What: Blog study of Lysa TerKeurst's newest book

Where: Here on the Write From My Heart blog
When: Starts Tuesday, January 18th and every Tuesday through Feb. 28th

Why: It's time to learn how to desire God...not food!
Who: ANYONE!
Go to the Made to Crave website here for more info and how to get your book and the workbook if you want it!

Joining me?

What message is your life portraying?

2010-12-05T14:50:00.003-06:00

October 4, 2009, a woman named Janna married John, the man of her dreams.
A beyond beautiful couple.

On December 8, 2009, still a newlywed, Janna was killed in a bizarre accident.
Done with work for the day, she got out of her car in the parking lot of her apartment complex when a snow plow truck backed into her and took her life.
28 years old.
John's wife for only 2 months.
A groom who pulled into the parking lot as the ambulance was loading his beautiful bride into the back.
In a matter of moments John went from a groom to a widower.
60 plus days married, a life time ahead of missing her.

I didn't know Janna personally, but was so moved by her story that I contacted her Dad, Jon, by e-mail and we've talked on the phone a few times. One of the first things he wanted me to know about her was that his little girl has a passion for Jesus. Since she was young.
I say "has" because it's an eternal thing that only increases once you hit the floors of heaven and something that doesn't end with your last breath.

I joined the Remembering Janna Moore Morin Facebook page shortly after her death and have cried many times from the posts and pictures that people have shared about her. Especially the ones from her BFF's and her Dad, Jon.

I've also looked at her Facebook page. Unless you're her friend, you can only see the Info page.
I was amazed at what I read. Here's a little bit of what she had written...
In the "about me" section:
Religious views: John 14:6 "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father but through Me."-Jesus.
Favorite Quotations:
*Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls, For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

*Mark 13:13 All men will hate you because of Me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.

*John 3:3 Jesus declared, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again."

*John 14:6 I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

*John 15:18 If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the words I spoke to you. No servant is greater than his master. If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me.

*Revelation 21:4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.

But this part is what got me the most under her Bio:

I'm a hairstylist that has never stopped moving. literally...I moved back to

Nebraska in February for my how husband after living in San Diego for a few

years. I got married October 4th, 2009 and am now living the life as a

newlywed.

The Lord guides my steps in all I do, and my goal in life is to live a life pleasing in His sight.

I will be in Heaven with Him someday...

Will you?

Janna and John's engagement photo...she had no idea her time with him as his wife would be so short.

When she was the center of attention at her Bridal shower, she didn't have a clue that she'd see Jesus so soon...

And when she became Mrs. John Morin that day in October she didn't know she'd die as a newlywed.

She didn't know she'd die before her 30th birthday, as none of us know the day we are going to die and leave this earth.

What Janna did know though with any doubt to even those who never had the privilege of meeting her, is that she loved Jesus Christ with everything in her and she had no shame in sharing Him.
From what I've read in her very own words and what I've heard from her Dad about her is that her love for Jesus was undeniable.

A beauty of a woman from the inside out with a message that Jesus Christ was Who she loved and lived for and she knew that one day, sooner than what anyone thought, she'd be with her Savior.
She even had Isaiah 53:5 tattooed on her arm. A tattoo her Dad said that she had put on her arm with purpose. When she was cutting hair and her client asked her about it she was able to witness to them.

What messages about your life are you purposely sending out?
If you have a Facebook...what is that people can without a doubt say about you just from your Info page?
Under "religion" do you mark "Christian", but then live a life that doesn't portray Christ at all?
Is Christ just another part of your life, or is He your life?
What unspoken message can be said of your life and your beliefs?
Christ was never meant to be your best kept secret, but to be shared with others.

"Knowing" Janna over the last year has made me more aware that I am the one in charge of how I portray myself. I'm the one who chooses what I want others to know about me. Do I get it right all of the time? No way, but when I feel immediate conviction over my choices, it makes me want to do better next time. And so I seek forgiveness from God and move forward. If there's one thing about me that I want people to know it's Jesus. Not that I'm a wife, mom or Grandma or that I love writing. Jesus. That's Who I want my life to portray.

Today, as I am, ask yourself...what message are people getting from my life?
If you can't honestly say Jesus, then I pray that you shift your priorities and make Him your #1 and if you don't know Him at all, I hope you choose Him.
He's not a choice of religion, for He's more than just saying that you're a Christian.
Anyone can believe in Jesus. The difference is allowing Him to live through you.

Please keep Janna's husband John and her family and friends in your prayers this week as they come upon the 1 year anniversary of her homecoming and their 2nd Christmas without her.

And today...make Jesus your choice above anyone and everything.
Allow Him to be the message of this short life you're living here on earth.

The Lord guides my steps in all I do, and my goal in life is to live a life pleasing in His sight.

I will be in Heaven with Him someday...

Will you?

~Janna Moore Morin~

Blessings,

Jesus is the Hero

2010-10-15T14:53:00.001-05:00

I just read a post by my friend Nicki that is so bold and awesome about how the world views Christians called If You Want to Blame Someone, Blame Yourself. You must read it!

This is what it spurred in my heart just now though.

This week many of us witnessed the miners in Chili being brought up out of a dark pit.

Since the day they were trapped, the desire to rescue them was intense and focused.
It would have been worthless to sit up here and just point fingers at whatever went wrong.
Condemnation was put aside and the rescue efforts were put in place.
And from the 1st to the very last miner, we rejoiced and praised as we watched each of them walk into the arms of a loved one.
Every single miner was waited for.
And every single miner was welcomed with open arms no matter how dirty they were.

There are many in the pit of darkness.

And as Christians, it is easy to sit in our pews and shake our heads at their lifestyle.
Does that mean we sit back and just let them live life out of control?
Of course not, that would be stupid and irresponsible on our part.
But there is a way to confront someone in love instead of pure condemnation.
Don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying to be afraid of stepping on any one's toes, you want to speak truth into some one's life and not skirt around the issues they're facing. But to be truthful in love is so different. My Uncle Chris was just like that with me. He lovingly told me that I needed Jesus. That He was praying for me. And he pointed things out that needed to be addressed.

I knew my uncle didn't agree with my lifestyle, but not once was his finger pointing so hard at me that I couldn't see past his finger to his heart for me and more importantly, His heart for Jesus.

That love is a tool Jesus used to save my life.

What are you doing..sitting around pointing fingers or are you cooperating with God's rescue effort?
Don't let it be mistaken that Jesus Christ is the Rescuer.
He is the Hero.
Not us.
Even though men dug the hole that provided the way out of the entrapment for the miners, the tube is what brought the miners up out of the earth. And just like with those lost, who don't know Jesus or perhaps do know Jesus, but have chosen to live life their way like I did...He will use us to share Him, to share His Word, but HE is the tube that brings them up out of the darkness. The tube brought the miners up and out to freedom while the men who dug stood around clapping and praising. And as Jesus brings those that are in any sin filled lifestyle into freedom, we stand or perhaps kneel...clapping and praising our Hero.

Thank you Jesus for never giving up on me and thank you Uncle Chris for letting Jesus use your love for Him to love on your once Prodigal niece.

Have a blessed weekend.
Next Tuesday I''ll post on chapters 3 & 4 from the book study of "It's No Secret".
Sorry I missed this week, but it was a crazy one.

No more being fake!

2010-09-23T14:17:00.001-05:00

A block away from our home is the cutest house ever.

It almost looks like a little cottage out of a storybook and I've always loved the look of it.

Back in the spring of 2003 the house was put up for sale and my mom, who has also loved it, wanted to see the inside of the home.

She would call the realtor, but could never get a showing because as soon as there was interest, they would take it off the market. It was so strange.

Watching the news one summer night explained why the For Sale sign kept getting taken down.

Neighbors had called the health department on the two women that owned the house.

They were being reported for a smell coming from their home.

City officials responded and quickly removed 78 cats and 2 dogs from the home.

Seventy-eight felines.

In a small 2 bedroom cottage on the corner.

Recently I was visiting with my friend who lives next door to the former Cat Group Home and I commented on what a great job the new owners have done with the place. That's when she told me that when they began building their addition and started digging, they found graves of cats in plastic bags.

The health department again was called out and they discovered over 80 buried cats on the property.

Little did I know all along I was admiring a cat cemetery, not a cottage that could be found in a

Thomas Kinkaid painting.

My friend said that the new owners had to completely re-gut the house and put all new stuff in to get rid of the smell of the cat urine left behind. The paper reported that Animal control officers could smell the urine while standing 50 feet from their home.

I had never been that close to the house, instead just admiring it from a distance, so I had no idea.

What my Mom and I thought looked good on the outside was actually unlivable on the inside.

Don't we get like this sometimes?

So worried about what the outside looks like that we forget about our heart?
We want to look good from a distance and can easily accomplish that goal.

So many of us can look like we have it all together to the naked eye, and the closer people get, the more they smell our stinking hearts.

When we allow Jesus to take over, it won't be cats He carries out of our our heart, but instead things like jealousy, anger, pride...and so on.
Jesus wants to re-gut our hearts and fill it up with Himself.

When Jesus is what we're all about, the aroma of Christ will come seeping out of our hearts and our insides will match up with our outside appearance.

All because of our sweet Savior.

My girlfriend Lisa Whittle is much like this. What you see on the outside is what you see on the inside.

Straight up beauty.

Pure Jesus girl.

The real deal.
I just went to Lisa's blog so I could link her and read her post The Ugly Truth. Oh my goodness!!
This is exactly what I'm talking about. Go read it. So worth your time.

Let's pursue Jesus Christ and let Him invade us from the inside out!

Join me next Tuesday for the next Yes to God study of Rachel Olsen's new book,

Get the book and join in anytime!

You don't have to be a blogger to join us.

Discussion of chapter 1 will be

Tuesday, September 28th!

See you here!

Click on the Yes to God FAQ's on the right side of my blog if you have never joined an on-line blog study before.

And if you read this last post...I hope you are praying for the 3 women with cancer.

Thank you!

3 women/3 cancers/ONE JESUS

2010-09-20T21:15:00.002-05:00

Monday.

Some people start dreading Monday's on Sunday and wake up every week with this attitude...

But then by Friday their attitude has flipped and they feel like this...

Not all people are like this though.

There are some who wake up like this most days...

Just choosing to praise God before the day even has a chance to get to her.

Over the last few weeks I have found out that 2 women I have blogged with over the last two years and have had the privilege of meeting both in person are battling cancer. Then over the weekend I found out that a guy I know through high school is married to a woman who is also fighting for her life.

All three daughters of the King, wives and mothers.
Let me introduce you to Elaine, Veronica and Amy.

When I look at the things I complain about I feel so silly to know that there are 3 of my Sisters in Christ waking up every morning knowing that they have something in their body that doesn't belong.

And as I have read through each one's blog and/or CaringBridge posts they are all three looking like Elaine does in this picture...

They may be the first to tell me that it's not all it seems to be and that they have their bad days too. That's fine, they're human, but when I see a woman in the midst of a battle for her life and her belief in God hasn't wavered, but instead increased, the picture above is what they each look like.

Just letting their Jesus soak through them.

My heart is heavy for each one of them.

They have children and husbands who adore them.

They have already or will soon lose their hair.

They are physically weak and sick.

But even with all they are physically and emotionally enduring, each lady is
praising, seeking and trusting in
Jesus Christ, their Savior.

I introduced the 3 of them over the weekend via Facebook and through tears, laughed as I read Amy and Elaine telling Veronica how she is "rock'n" the bald head look.

They are encouraging each other and praying for one another and they are sharing their stories.

And they know the One thing besides cancer they have in common is Jesus Christ.

Three beautiful women in different parts of the country.

Three different cancers invading their body.

ONE Savior.

Not one of them has turned away or stopped trusting Him.

In Amy's CaringBridge post today she expressed her anger at the enemy and I loved how real she is.

The last time I talked to Elaine was over the summer.
She had just written her first book and I called to congratulate her.

So now that she is in a battle, does she toss her own book out or rely on all God has taught her up to this point? I mean c'mon, can one really have Peace for the Journey when it comes to cancer?

So what am I learning from these three beautiful godly women?

So far, I have learned to embrace my Jesus.

Praise Him all of the time. Not just when it's Friday.

Seek Him deeply.

You may not have cancer in common with these women, but if you are saved then the One thing you have in common with them is Jesus Christ.

And whether we have cancer or not, He wants and desires our praises.

He doesn't want to be your god who you turn to in an emergency or on Easter and Christmas.

He wants to be your God that you want more than what your flesh wants.

He wants to be the God that you talk to about every little and big thing in your life.

He wants to be the God you surrender completely to.
He wants to be your Everything when you are sick and when you are healthy.
He wants to be the reason you leave yourself behind.

These are women filled more with Jesus than they are cancer.

And that's what life should be about.

Many of us may never get cancer or any other life threatening disease.

We may just seek Him out of convenience, not desire.

I think what is scary is that we can go through life and not ever really get to know our Savior.
And by choice we may never get to know Him past the baby in the manger.

I don't want to wait until life takes me to an unfamiliar place before I get on bended knee.

I want to choose to daily surrender fully to Jesus now.
I want to be like these women and do it before anything dangerous comes my way.

From what I know of Vern and Elaine and what I've read about Amy, these women were praising and seeking their Savior prior to their diagnosis.
Now they've just taken it up a notch.
How many unbelievers will cross paths with these women?

Doctors, nurses, lab technicians, volunteers...

How many lives will be changed watching them stay faithful to the Faithful One?

Their love and passion for Jesus that no matter what, will not be surrendered.

Amy woke this morning to see one of her children in bed reading her Bible.

Not playing video games. Not texting, not watching television.

Reading God's Word!

What a way to start your day off.

Three women

Three lives

Three cancers

ONE
JESUS

One Jesus who knows exactly what we're going through.

Please keep these women and their families in your prayers and go visit them...

Veronica (Vern) Hutcherson at her CaringBridge website.

Elaine Olsen at her blog Peace for the Journey and to order Elaine's book, click here.

Amy Bowman at her CaringBridge website or her blog New Nostalgia

*And all 3 are on Facebook.

Shhhh....It's a Secret, I mean, IT'S NO SECRET!

2010-09-13T10:09:00.010-05:00

The current YES to GOD blog study that I'm "leading", or rather avoiding, has truly been the toughest. I didn't expect it to be hard and looking back I'm not sure what I thought it would be like. It's forced me to relive a part of my ugly past that I never wanted to return to. I've talked about my regret of choosing abortion over trusting God before, but I've never had to really look at my choice. Tomorrow I will blog on chapter 6&7 and next Tuesday, I'll wrap it up with the last chapter. I'm sorry to anyone who has been following it for my inconsistency to blog on time but one thing I realized about myself through this is that I would rather suffer in silence than deal head on with something so painful. The problem with stuffing such pain it's still fair game for the devil to use it against you. So, I will keep going and allowing God to slowly peel back layers of my heart that I would rather Him just leave alone. He never listens to me. So if you have been following along with that study, I will be posting tomorrow for sure.

When I started the current study, I knew not everyone would be able to relate, thank God.
Knowing that it was near it's end, I've been wondering what book God would want us to do for the next YES to GOD blog study. And then along came Rachel Olsen of Proverbs 31 Ministries, unveiling her new book called
"It's No Secret" and it caught my eye. For the few women who have experienced love at first sight with their man, it was like that for me with this book, just by the cover alone.

I mean, look at this and tell me you wouldn't be one of the first to order this.

I don't know if you can read it, but the red words say

REVEALING

DIVINE TRUTHS

EVERY WOMAN

SHOULD KNOW

Revealing Divine Truths?
Secrets about and from God?

Lately my heart as just been longing for more of Him.

I don't want to be one of those Christian women that keeps Him to myself.

I want more.
I crave more of Him to the point my teenage son leaned over in church yesterday and asked me,
"Why are you crying?".

Here are some things I found in Rachel's book and Sisters, this is just the intro...

In the pages of this book, you and I will find a dozen hidden treasures of wisdom Christ longs to reveal to us. These teachings run counter to what our culture tells us about successful living. I hope we will grasp each of these simple-yet-divine secrets for successful living in the kingdom of God, apply them, and share them with others.

These God-sized secrets contain the keys we are looking for--answers to the issues of modern life, such as exhausting schedules, unpaid bills, relational conflicts, and unmet expectations. These secrets, and their Source, are the solution to the longings of our souls.

God eagerly awaits to share with us great secrets from His Word.

I want more of Him, don't you?

He knows we need Him and He is never finished with revealing Himself to us.

There's way too much of Him for us to ever be able to get to the point of being a "know it all Christian".

There are just too many sides of Him that allows us the comfort of ending our pursuit of Him.

Not long ago, I found out after 20 years of knowing my husband that I didn't know everything about him like I claimed.
I knew Gene played basketball.
I knew he was good enough to be recruited and given a full scholarship to Nebraska in the 80's for football.
But what I did not know is that he was once a wrestler.
Once I got past the visual of him being in this sport, truth be told, it was rather exciting to find out this side of him that he had failed to reveal to me. For 20 years.
As exciting to my soul that it was to find out something new about my husband,
it can't compare to being revealed a side of our Savior we had no idea existed .
Yes, more thrilling it is to find out things about Jesus Christ than finding out your muscular, athletic husband once put a tight fitting outfit on and wrestled around on a mat with another guy.
Way more exciting!

Yesterday in church, we read Colossians 1:27 and it penetrated my heart to the point of tears.

To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery,

which is Christ in you,

the hope of glory.

It was the reference to Christ as the hope of glory that got me.

My past is part of Satan's resume, but to know that no matter what I have done, I have Jesus Christ, the Hope of Glory in me is amazing.
And to think that it's right where He wants to be just floors this once girl gone wild.

The Hope of Glory.

And He has things that He wants me to know about Him, even after years of calling myself a Christian.

He has used Rachel Olsen to write

It's No Secret

to deliver twelve divine truths into our heart.

Let's get what our Heavenly Father has for us in this book.

Yesterday Rachel and I were corresponding through e-mail and one thing I said was this...

There's not a study I've hosted that God hasn't done some changing in me.

So, I anticipate much from my King as we begin a new book study because I know enough about Him to know He's not about women adding a book to their library.

He's about us changing and letting us get to know Him more.

If you are looking for a blog study to participate in, I hope you will join me for the next

YES to GOD

blog study starting on

Tuesday, September 28th to discuss chapter 1 of

It's No Secret

by Rachel Olsen.

After Tuesday the 28th, we will continue to meet here every Tuesday, discussing one chapter a week.

If you have never visited Rachel's blog, click here and go see her.
(She even has where you can read the intro and chapter one of the book if you want to in the entry from September 7th).

I met her at the women's Christian writing and speaking conference, She Speaks in 2008 and she is as wonderful in person as she is through her blog.

Don't just go shopping for another book.

Buy the book and look forward to God doing some amazing things in your heart and life.

Go into this with anticipation of a King that doesn't know how to disappoint.

Allow Him to change you from the inside out and reveal truths that we need to know.

I'm so excited!

So, invite a friend or 2 or 4 and join me on Tuesday, September 28th.

If you've never done a blog study before, on the right side of my blog there are FAQ's about

Click here to buy It's No Secret and then get ready my Sister, as our

Hope of Glory
leads us to a place we've never been before with Him.

If you are interested in doing this blog study with me, please leave a comment below and know you will be lifted up in prayer.

OH, and I heard this song before church yesterday and it stirred up a desire in my heart that was really crazy to feel. She just sang what was in my heart.
I love the Lord so very much...I really hope He knows that.

YES to GOD Study: Surrendering the Secret/Week 5

2010-09-01T09:10:00.002-05:00

Welcome, to

on Wednesday.

Last Wednesday, my husband Gene had his 4th back surgery. I was in Omaha with him until Friday afternoon and now home helping him recover. I'll share with you this Friday the cool thing God did in a separate post, otherwise I'd be writing a book today.

This Yes to God study of Pat Layton's book, Surrendering the Secret

has by far been the toughest for me to tackle.

And if you're anything like me, then when you don't want to deal with something you just stuff it. Over the last month of "leading" this study I have exchanged excuses for blogging. Some big things have happened, but I still committed to doing this with Jennifer and I have in no way done my part. If we were doing this in real life, I probably would have stopped showing up for the meetings. Because for a short period of time, when you stuff something so far down in your heart you can pretend that it's gone away. Until something happens to remind you of your secrets. Not a fun way to live.
So, no more excuses, no more avoiding the STS book, let's just let God get to it.

SESSION 5: FORGIVENESS: A Giant Step Toward Freedom

Anything in blue is a quote from the book.

On the 3rd page of this session Pat has a section called:

Objectives for this Session

*Increase openness to the concept of forgiveness

*Recognize what true forgiveness is an is not

*Understand the benefits of forgiveness and the consequences of not forgiving

*Separate the conscious choice of forgiving from our emotions

*Verbalize an understanding of God's forgiveness in our own lives

Then she wrote this...Put the burden of resentment in God's hands. Holding on to anger and unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for someone else to die from its effects.

I've never thought until this study that I've never forgiven myself for my horrible choice and how that has effected my life. I'm drinking in my own poison and it's effecting so many areas of my life.

One of the things Pat does is tells us what forgiveness isn't...
Forgiveness is
NOT forgetting.~Forgiveness does not imply amnesia.
NOT minimizing the hurt.~Forgiveness calls the violation what it is just as an umpire calls what he sees.
NOT necessarily mean reconciliation.~Forgiveness recognizes that reconciliation may be neither possible nor wise following an abortion.

At the end of the session, Pat addresses forgiving yourself.
It's common for post-abortive women to feel that while God has forgiven them, they need to forgive themselves. But the Bible never identifies the need to forgive ourselves. The key is not forgiving yourself but accepting God's forgiveness.

I always make things about myself and yet Pat clearly is telling me, "Once again Lelia, stop making this about YOU. This is about really accepting God's grace and forgiveness."
When we as Christ-followers say, "I know God can forgive me, but I can't forgive myself," we are elevating our ability to forgive over God's ability. True healing and freedom only occur when we can accept the forgiveness God so graciously wants to give each of us. In not completely accepting God's forgiveness, you're essentially buying the lie that Christ's sacrifice on the cross was not sufficient to cover your abortion.

WOW!
Can you even imagine standing at the foot of the cross back when Jesus was actually on it?
You've just watched Him get beaten beyond recognition, spit on and made fun of by some dirty soldiers.
You've stood by in horror watching as they nailed his broken, bruised and bleeding body to the cross.
You watch as His helpless mother prays over her dying Son.
And then you walk up to His bloodied feet, look up to Him and wait until you have His attention and say
"Not enough, Jesus. This isn't enough to pay for all I've done and will do. You got anything else?"

I think His mother Mary would've found the strength to take you out herself.
It sounds crazy, but this is what we all do when we don't accept His forgiveness.
What He allowed to happen to Him on that cross was, is and always will be enough for us.
More than enough.
Our sins, no matter how big or small, were covered that day and continue to have complete coverage.
We just have to accept His forgiveness so our healing can begin.
Like Paul penned many moons ago...His grace is sufficient enough.

Please visit the lovely Jennifer for her insight to session 5.
And visit the author, Pat at her blog, Surrendering the Secret.
Come back by in a few days, I have an amazing story about what God did last week.
He is just so worth this journey!

Love,

YES to GOD Study: Surrendering the Secret/Week 4

2010-08-18T09:30:00.002-05:00

Hello!
I am beyond sorry for my absence from the blog.
I have been in correspondence with Jennifer and this has been a lot tougher than I thought it was going to be. I have really stuffed this part of my life and opening it up, I almost feel like I'm walking around with vomit all over me.

See, with my abortion, I took "the pill". And the two anti-abortion girlfriends I had told about my pregnancy, I couldn't dare tell them that I had aborted, so I told them that I miscarried. So, I let my lie become my truth. And every time I would think about what I had done, I told myself that I had miscarried.

And so it made it a little easier. And when I would start thinking about how old my baby would be, I'd stop before the tears could come down. I reminded myself that "I had no other choice". Lie after lie I fed myself and swallowed every bit of them.

So a few weeks ago, my oldest daughter and I had to go to Bellevue, which is less than an hour away. When we were heading back to Lincoln, she made a wrong turn and there, right across the street from where she turned around, was the clinic.
The clinic where I was handed the abortion pill that would let me swallow my secret sin.

Instant sinking of my stomach.
It's so dirty looking.
You think they could at least take some of the money they make and pave the parking lot so their doctor has a decent place to park.

I said, out loud, "Oh my gosh, that's where I had my abortion". My daughter gave a sympathetic, "Oh" and off we went. There's a sign at the exit off of the highway to Bellevue that says "When a woman has an abortion, something inside of her dies". They should have that on the outside of this dirty building.
But as my daughter found the right street, I just did what I've always done when thinking about my abortion choice, and quickly stuffed it. Problem is, I am supposed to be "leading" a blog study of this very thing and I don't want anything to do with it. It was so much better when I didn't allow myself to think about it.
Because not only as a mom, but as a human, what I did was horrible and everything in me wants this baby back.
WHAT would God have done with my situation had I allowed Him in and really took Him at His Word of being the great "I Am"?

Looking at this picture of the clinic, I wonder how many babies have been left behind.
And the thing is, I have always been so protective of my kids, that there is no way if this was a daycare that I'd leave my child there, but I did. The minute I let that doctor place that pill in my hand and watch me swallow it, I left my child there. To die. Oh Lord, I'm so sorry.

So amongst other things that have happened, I have chosen to ignore this blog. I like easy and it was easier for me to text Jennifer saying "I promise promise promise today I'm posting!" and week after week she'd text back encouraging me to press forward and trust God with this like she had to do when she first went through this book. I was really hoping she'd say, "Oh, don't worry about it, you're not ready", but she didn't let me off the hook. Instead, she lovingly prayed and guided me. I so love her!
Also, thank you all for your sweet comments and encouragement the last post. You're all such blessings!
If you are going through this book because of your own choice of regret, I will be praying for you!

So, I know I'm way behind, but instead of trying to play catch up, let's look at session 4 this week.
If you ever want to comment, but don't want anyone to know your identity, you can comment under "Anonymous". Your input is always valued.

SESSION 4: A TIME FOR ANGER: Tearing Down the Roadblocks
Anything in blue is a quote from the book.

I really love how the author, Pat Layton has included pages from her personal journal at the beginning of each session. This journal entry made me cry. She was told her abortion would take a few hours and she'd be back to her normal life. Instead, she stopped breathing and was put on a respirator due to an allergic reaction from the anesthesia. What was going to be her secret became her nightmare as she awoke to her parents next to her side in the hospital. Read her words...

"They" said there was "no need to worry" about the fever and the cramps that lasted five days after I went home from the hospital. As I grew worse, "they" changed their minds and said, "We are very sorry" and admitted me back into the hospital. "They" said, "During the emergency we encountered during your first procedure, parts of the fetus were left behind. We will need to repeat the procedure."
I never even thought about the word "fetus" as "they" said it.
All I could think was "baby."
My baby.
"Parts" left behind?
Which "parts"?
The heart?
The hands?
The parts of a boy or a girl?
My God,
which parts?
Nothing "they" said was true.

I cannot even begin to pretend to know what she endured during and after that day. But what I do know is the book I am trying hard to go through is proof that God can take the hardest, ugliest, most selfish time in our life and turn it for His good.

Ephesians 4: 25-26
Laying aside falsehood, speak the truth each of you with his neighbor, for we are all members of one another. Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger

So how do "be angry" and yet keep sin out of the picture.
I've always related anger with yelling, screaming, explosive behavior and yet that is not what God wants from us. So sometimes it seems easier to stuff it, but that's not what God says for us to do either. Verse 26 doesn't say, Be angry, and yet do not sin, just stuff it down in your heart and make things on the outside look as normal as possible.
Anger is a God-given emotion that helps us address issues, but it must be handled carefully.

Pat takes us further into Ephesians chapter 4 when she takes us past verse 26 and goes to 32 where we learn what happens when we stuff our anger or let it out in the wrong way.

I've always heard, "don't let the sun go down on your anger" and have looked at that sentence as being more of a fortune tucked into the fold of a cookie at a Chinese restaurant instead of advice in my Bible penned by Paul.
When I've been angry about something not only has the moon replaced the sun, but the lights have been turned off, the fit has been thrown, the words I can't take back have been spit out and the silent treatment has gone into effect.
And how many of these can I check off that I've done...
Explosive anger verbally attacks by screaming, cursing, condemning, name-calling, humiliating, or threatening. It damages self-esteem and trust and ultimately destroys a relationship when the exploder causes the anger recipient to retreat for emotional safety.

Pat encourages us to get rid of explosive anger and replace it with a healthy outlet.
It's so weird, because I don't walk around screaming and yelling like a mad woman, but when I let it out oh my goodness, even Kane the dog wishes he lived somewhere far away from me.
And sometimes the anger just rises up so quick from out of no where.
Post-abortive women often react to thing sin ways they don't understand. They find themselves overreacting to events and circumstances in ways they don't expect---sometimes with anger, or other times with great sadness or hurt. Now that you are on your healing journey, you can begin to make sense of these uncomfortable emotions.

By doing this study, it has really forced me to look at the choice that I made. The choice I convinced myself had to be done. The choice to end my baby's life. The choice to not give God a chance. The choice to face myself in the mirror and allow myself to grieve.
The choice I wish I was sitting next to right now.

It was no coincidence that my daughter missed the turn and I sat in the car looking at the building I entered years ago. I think God allowed that to happen on purpose so I would stop putting up walls around this part of my heart and give Him permission to invade me.
I hadn't seen the clinic since I walked away from it that day. I didn't even return there for my post abortion follow-up appointment 2 weeks later.
I just wanted that day gone, but somehow God has different plans for me.
I wonder if this is what He means when He tells us in Isaiah 55:8
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

Please visit Jennifer at her blog, Spirit of Truth
and read her insight to session 4 as we share different things from the chapter.
Love,

Join me next Tuesday, session 5:
Forgiveness: A Giant Step Toward Freedom

I'll be back Friday to share with you some exciting things that have been happening.
Our God...He is somethin' else, as if you don't already know!

YES to GOD Study: Surrendering the Secret/Week 2 & 3

2010-07-27T21:18:00.001-05:00

WELCOME

of the book

Surrendering the Secret.

Last Tuesday, I was to post on session 2 and today on session 3. I have to be honest here and tell you, I'm having a hard time working through this book.

I can blame it on being busy with work and family, but truth be told, what I thought at first was a great idea of hosting this study, has turned out to be a lot harder than I thought.

And like Jillian Michaels says on her video, "when you begin to hurt, it's pain leaving the body".

So, I'm late and I'm sorry for that, but here are a few things from sessions 2 & 3.

SHARING THE SECRET: A Spring in the Desert

Remember, anything in blue is a quote from the book.

In the journal entry from Pat's journal she is nudged by God to share her story with her BFF, Ann.

She was so nervous and scared to do so and wrote these thoughts:

Although I am dreading it, I had to tell Ann about my abortion. The secret swelled so fiercely in my heart that I was about to burst! Yet turmoil and panic gripped my chest because I had no idea what Ann would say or how exposing this dark part of my past would affect our friendship. Ann and all my new friends at church seemed so godly and good. What would they think of me? What would they think about the awful thing I had done? It was time---to break the power of secrecy...

Isn't this so true to think no matter what our secrets hold?

I've talked before about being at a women's conference and thinking, "if only she knew me".

And surprisingly, when I've shared my past with my friends, they have shown me grace.

And my sister Michelle. Oh my goodness, God knew exactly who I needed.

I couldn't have designed a more perfect friend/sister. She has been so incredible.

In this session, Pat talked of buying into lies.

If Satan can keep us feeling worthless, keep us feeling guilty, or keep our minds and hearts under his influence, he can keep us out of the glory God intended us to live in and the intimacy God wants us to share with Him. That's why the deceiver continually whispers lies about who we are, who God is, God's heart toward us, and intimacy with God.

Continually whispers lies.

And I continually believe my enemy.

This cycle of destruction has come to an end.

Session 3: WALK IN TRUTH

What if when you went to the clinic to get your abortion they took you into a room and told you what you would really feel afterward?

On page 45, Pat talks about how after having an abortion, the first emotion most women have is immediate relief. Research indicates, however, that this relief is short-lived and is soon replaced by guilt, shame, secrecy, sadness and regret. This strong letdown experience is commonly referred to as Post-Abortion Trauma.

On my way home from the clinic, I got a phone call asking to serve at church for Easter Sunday that year. I felt so much shame, but quickly regrouped.

I had to remember that this was MY secret.

My pregnancy was the result of an affair my husband didn't know of yet, so I had to be careful not to do anything out of the ordinary. Which meant walking around crying.

So, I stuffed it and went on with my life.

And tried my hardest not to EVER think about it.

But after my husband knew and showed so much grace, the guilt and shame would really kick in. And wouldn't you know, Satan stayed around and had fun with this new emotion too.

He just loves to keep us down and useless.

This is one decision that we hope we are alone in, but the truth of it is, many many women have had an abortion. We are everywhere...women who have bought the enemy's lie that abortion was our only hope, our only choice, and what we "had to do".

Okay, that's all I can do for now.

I will be praying for all of you silently joining this study.

We are not alone ladies, and our God.

Our God loves us as is.

Please visit my co-host, Jennifer on her blog

A Spirit of Truth

for an amazing word.

Love,

*Next Tuesday, August 3rd for Session 4: A Time for Anger: Tearing Down Roadblocks

YES to GOD Study: Surrendering the Secret/Week 1

2010-07-13T09:11:00.036-05:00

Welcome to the summer YES to GOD study of Pat Layton's book

Surrendering the Secret.

First, I want to tell everyone who has left messages of encouragement and letting us know that they're praying, THANK YOU so much! What a blessing you have been!

Session 1: WHERE HAVE YOU COME FROM?

Anything in blue is a quote from the book.

Prior to each session is a page entry from the journal of Pat, the author. She shares how at the age of 23 she was alone at the clinic. I love what she says here about God: "He's rescued me from despair and shame, transforming the messes of my life into a beautiful ministry of grace and healing". Her testimony is amazing and to be led through this journey by someone like her through her book, is an absolute privilege.

One thing that Pat mentioned in the beginning of this session is God is here, and He has brought you here. He has a plan for you but cannot take the journey for you. You must take one step: a step of faith to begin walking the path with Him.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I told two of my friends. Both cried with me and prayed for me and both women begged me not to have an abortion. The only reason they would both bring up abortion is because being married, the baby was not my husband's. I promised both of them that I would never do what I was always so against. It would be years before I would tell them the truth about my "miscarriage". Both forgave me, but the shame I carried was at times unbearable.

Some think God couldn't care less about our pain or that He condemns us for past mistakes, but the Book of Jeremiah gives us glimpses into God's real heart.

They dress the sound of my people as thought it is not serious, "Peace, peace," they say, when there is no peace.

JEREMIAH 6:14 NIV

Pat goes on to share with us the story in the Bible of Hagar found in Genesis 16.

If you have never read the Bible before, Genesis is the very first book of the Bible. And let me tell you, some of the stories in here bring out more drama than the writer's of Desperate Housewives could ever dream up.

There are three main characters in this story: Abram, his wife Sarai and her servant Hagar.

Sarai hadn't been able to give Abram any kids, so in all her womanly wisdom, she tells Abram to sleep with Hagar.

And he did.

Hagar became pregnant.

And Sarai became ticked off and treated Hagar horribly.

And Hagar did what any pregnant mistreated servant would do and she ran away.

Shame. Guilt. Shame. Running from the situation.

Sound familiar?

The day I was driving home from my regretful time in the clinic, I received a phone call from a guy at church asking me to be a greeter that Sunday for Easter service at the front doors of our church.
"Sure" I said in a forced happy tone while tears ran down my cheeks.
Needless to say, I didn't show up.

Getting back to Hagar, this is where it gets really good.

Let's pick up at Genesis 16:7-8

The angel of the LORD found Hagar beside a spring of water in the wilderness, along the road to Shur. The angel said to her, "Hagar, Sarai's servant, where have you come from, and where are you going?"

I LOVE that...where have you come from, and where are you going?

Just think of what God has brought you out of and think of where He can and will take you, if you allow Him to do so.

From a seat in a clinic that left me with shame and guilt....to complete surrender in all areas of my life.

Continuing on with Hagar's story, I love this next part.

The angel told her to return to her mistress and submit to her authority. The he continued to tell her all that God promised to do with and to her. And this was her response to God, "You are the God who sees me." She also said, "Have I truly seen the One who sees me?"

How special she must have felt that day! She ran away in shame and the Lord met her right where she was and HE made her feel special and loved. She knew without a doubt that He saw her.
WHAT a Savior!

So, what does this have to do with us?

Pat goes on to explain that abortion is a response to panic.

Just like Hagar, when we went to the clinic, we ran with a cloak of shame covering our shoulders and more than likely we ran in panic. I know I did. I felt there was no other way out for me.

And in all of my selfishness, God saw me. He saw me the day I walked into that clinic all alone. He saw me as I sat in the waiting room wanting to run out the doors. He saw me when the cold hearted doctor handed me the pill to end my pregnancy without even looking up at me. God hears your heart's cry! He sees you and feels your pain. He longs for you to look back on this time in your life and ask with Hagar, "Have I truly seen the One who sees me?"

Where have I come from?
A life full of decisions that effected not only me, but so many people I love.
A heart of regret and shame.

Where am I going?
My hearts' desire is to go wherever the Lord wants to take me.

It's time to trust in the God that sees and loves me whether I'm sitting in a chair in an abortion clinic or I'm sitting in a chair in church.

Regardless of where I'm at in my life, His love for me is endless and unconditional.

He has forgiven me for taking the life of my child and now instead of keeping me down in the pit of shame, He wants to use my regret for His glory.

Question is...will I let Him?

Work through this study ladies.
Tough stuff, but let's allow God to break down your secret and let Him take you to new heights.

Please visit my co-leader Jennifer to read what she has written about this week's session.
She has been through this study and is a leader in her church. And what a heart she has for us.
Click here to go to her wonderful blog, Spirit of Truth. Oh, and if you haven't read her poem that she wrote called Out of the Darkness, oh my goodness, you have to read this.

Check back during the week so I can introduce you to some other women that have had an abortion, but have also made the decision to let God use this horrible choice for His good.

Let's tap into the hope we have in Him...

the God who sees us!

Love you,

YES to GOD Study: Surrendering the Secret Intro's

2010-07-06T21:55:00.002-05:00

Welcome to the new YES to GOD study of Pat Layton's book

Surrendering the Secret.

What better timing to start this book after the holiday that represents Freedom.

I hope you all had a great weekend, now let's get to it.

This book is in sessions, not chapters as I had previously stated. Each day there is something to read and questions to answer. So today, will just be introductions and next Tuesday, July 13th we will share and discuss Session 1: WHERE HAVE YOU COME FROM?

Here is a note from Jennifer, my co-leader of this study...

Hi everyone!

I wanted to take a quick minute to introduce myself and tell you a little bit about why I am co-leading this on line study with Lelia. My name is Jennifer Kittredge and I went through Surrendering the Secret for myself in January of 2009.

This was not something that I wanted to do but God had other plans (He always does). My abortion kept coming up back in December of 2008 and I wrestled with God about it for days. I did NOT want to go back there. Finally, I emailed Pat Layton, the author of our study, and she told me to run to A Woman's Place, which is our local crisis pregnancy center which Pat started about 24 years ago. I did, not actually excited about why I was there but knew God was behind me leading me and guiding me to finally receive the healing I so desperately needed.

Fast forward to 8 weeks after our study ( I will share more of my journey along the way) I am a new person. My chains are gone and I have been set FREE! Finally free from this bondage that had been holding me down.

I became a certified leader of STS in May of 2009 and have been leading groups at my church ever since.

I am so excited for each one of you who will share this journey with us. I know that this is scary,but God is with you every step of the way. He wants you healed. He wants to shine His light into your darkest places.

For week one of this study please start in your workbook with Session 1 "Where Have You Come From?". When you are through with your session, please share whatever stood out to you most throughout your session. Please take the Past Trauma Survey on page 17 of your book and share the score of your survey and the key symptoms you recognized in your own life.

Love,

Jennifer

"For God did not send his Son into the world, but to save the world through him...But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God"

John 3:17,21

NIV

******************

From Lelia....

I don't think I've ever fully dealt with what I did. Taking the life of a child is something when done you can never undo and when the reality of that hits you it's a panic one can hardly explain. You think of your baby all of the time. And the "what-ifs" are infinitely long. What if I would've trusted God and just had the baby...What if I would have left the clinic that day, and on and on. The shame is so heavy and so I'm ready to surrender even this to a God that says I am worth His Son's death on a cross. I'm scared and so ready for this journey. I hope if you've made this choice that you're ready too.

Hand in hand and heart to heart, let's do this together.

Love,

Lelia

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

***********************

Okay...so next week, Tuesday, July 13th meet here and if you want to, be ready to share your thoughts on Session 1. If you just want to silently participate, please do so. Whatever your level of comfort in join us at that level. This is a no pressure study. So, if you don't have your book, order it now for it's never to late to join us in this journey toward freedom! Click here to order your book today or for someone you know struggling with the secret of abortion.

Below is the anthem of this study.

Have a blessed week!

Get your butt in time out

2010-07-01T07:40:00.002-05:00

The World Cup has been all over the news and if you are a lover of soccer, you have been glued to the television. I won't mention her name, but according to my sports fanatic friend somewhere in Kansas, when the USA was playing you were just not patriotic if you were not cheering Landon Donavon and his teammates on. I will try to make up for my lack of interest this weekend by wearing red, white and blue.

This morning though, this headline on good ole' informative Yahoo News caught my eye...
Unusual Punishment for World Cup Squad. Ahhh, now they have my interest. So, I clicked and read this:

Nigeria lost its first two World Cup group stage matches but still came just one goal short of advancing with their draw against South Korea. As one of the more heavily favored African nations, the early elimination was certainly a disappointment. So how is Nigeria handling that disappointment?

From the BBC:

Nigeria's president has suspended his nation's football team from international competition for two years after a poor showing at the World Cup.
Special presidential adviser Ima Niboro told reporters the decision by Goodluck Jonathan will "enable Nigeria to reorganize its football."
He said: "This directive became necessary following Nigeria's poor performance in the ongoing World Cup."

Wow! Two whole years in time out for not representing your country in a positive way? That's a long time seems a little harsh over a soccer game.

Just looking at my own walk with Jesus, can you even imagine if this was God's mode of operation?
OH, my goodness, I'd be in time out all the time.
But we serve a God full of grace and mercy. When we mess up and we truly repent, He forgives.
Doesn't mean He never disciplines us, but He does forgive.

A few weeks ago, I put up a post called "Seasons End and Sometimes Friendships Do Too".
Don't go looking for it, if you missed it because I took it down last night. I wrote that post out of frustration and ever since, God has been working on my heart. But I kept ignoring and justifying why I wrote it. If you didn't see it, I had written about a friendship that I felt was no longer good for me,but this person kept appearing in my life and after feeling unheard by her, I decided to take it to the blog because I knew she used to read it.
OH. Boy.
Let me just tell you, that when you have committed something to be God's, like I have with this blog, and you use it for your own personal platform, watch out. I knew when I wrote it, my post would hurt her, but being the "godly" woman that I am, I started the post out with scripture and even backed up my feelings with a Bible story of a friendship gone awry. And you know what? Hand in hand with Pride, I accomplished exactly what I set out to do.

Pride.
She's so ugly.
And I invited her and all her ugliness to come into my heart and invade it so that every time I spoke of the situation to my husband, I was left with drops of poison dripping off of my chin.
I was not a pretty sight.
Not to God, to my husband or admittedly to myself.

And then I got a letter about the blog post from my "ex-friend" as I referred to her as in the post.
And she asked for my forgiveness.
And for the first time in a year I felt my heart softening toward her.
So I thought I should take the post down that slammed her, but then Pride quickly stood up with her hands on her hips and said,"No Lelia, leave it up, stand your deserved ground girl."
And, so I did.
Until last night.

Yesterday afternoon, I had my 16 year old chauffeur, Aaron, drive me to Walgreen's and according to him and his friend, I left them in the heat for 30 minutes until I found a birthday card for her. I wrote in it, signed and sealed it, but didn't deliver it. Instead, I went to Bible Study and cried on this one part that Beth Moore shared.

Wouldn't you know, it was on pride?
She shared how she had been trying to work with this woman and the woman just kept lying so Beth had enough. She said she was speaking at a banquet and saw this woman out of the corner of her eye and Beth then made a statement from the stage that only the woman would get. A statement that sliced the lady apart. And immediately after, God dealt with Beth about it. I sat there last night in tears. For a year now I have avoided having a sit down with this lady and sharing our hearts. And like I said I let Pride rear up and hold her ugly head high in my heart because in my mind, I am right and she is so wrong.

After Bible study last night I prayed and asked God to help me and I made my way to the Birthday Girl's home. I let out a sigh of relief as I turned the corner because I was getting off easy; she wasn't home. I went up to the house and was going to put the card in the screen door when through the open door I saw her ninety-something year old father sitting alone watching television. I knocked and let myself in and talked with him for awhile. I hadn't seen him in a year and we used to see each other everyday. I gave him kisses and hugs and just as I was leaving, her sister walked in. I felt a little uncomfortable, knowing she probably knew what had happened, but we hugged and spent a few minutes talking. Again, I was making my way out the door, when my neighbor walked in from her birthday dinner.

Over the last year, I hadn't stepped foot in her home or talked with her and when she walked in and saw me, she opened her arms. We hugged and talked for a few minutes and then I left. And cried. It was her day, so I didn't say anything but Happy Birthday, but it was a start. A start of letting God fill my heart and making Pride get the heck out. A start of making Pride shut up and let me walk in obedience to God. A God who should have done what the Nigerian president did and put my butt in a 2 year time out for using the gift of writing He has trusted me with to rip apart my sister in Christ. For being a poor showing of grace and mercy.

I was wrong in how I wrote out my feelings on my blog and I'm so sorry to her and also to you for roping you into my journey of pride. Some things, we just need to get in the position as this Nigerian player is in and take our junk before God and God alone.

One thing Beth Moore said last night, was "We better deal with our stuff, our stuff will deal with us".

Let Him deal with you in whatever way He needs to, for He is the only One Who truly knows our needs.

If you want to join an on line blog study, starting Tuesday, July 6th, check it out here and see if it's for you.

Walking down the aisle

2010-06-26T22:22:00.000-05:00

11 years ago today I walked down the aisle toward Gene as a single mom.

20 minutes later, I walked back down the aisle holding his hand as his wife.

I loved every bit of our wedding day and honeymoon.

I wish I could say I've loved every bit of the last 11 years, but there's not one couple that could say that about their marriage. Life is hard and there are going to be trials in every union, but when we have God to lean on it can make it a lot more worth it.

There are many "aisles" we walk down in our life and say "I do" to. Sometimes we walk alone and sometimes hand in hand with someone else. Sometimes when we get to the end, we're filled with joy, like I was on the day Gene and I exchanged our vows. And then there's sometimes the path I have chosen to walk down has left me with regret to what I've said "I do" to.
Like when I walked into the abortion clinic alone. And I walked out empty and scared. And years later still find myself with a huge hole in my heart and a regret I can't even explain. And knowing that I can't "undo" this horrible decision makes me heartsick to this day.

So that is one of the reasons why I chose to do the book

Surrendering the Secret

Pat Layton

for the next Yes to God study starting on Tuesday, July 6th.

Tuesday, July 6th will be the first day of discussing chapter 1 of the summer Yes to God study being led by not just myself, but also Jennifer who has a passion for post-abortion women. Click here to read Jen's latest blog post called Out of the Darkness, which is so beautiful.

Hopefully, you've never made this choice, but if you have it would be wonderful if you could join us. Or, if you know of anyone who has made the choice to abort their baby, please let them know about this on line blog study that they can join in from the comfort of their own home.

*They don't have to have a blog to read the posts every Tuesday.

*They never have to leave a comment if they don't want to.

*If they want to leave a comment, they can do it under "Anonymous" if they wish to remain unknown.

I hope and pray this will be a time of healing from the Lord for all that participate in this study because the death of a child at your own hands...Lord have mercy, it's something you get through, but never over.
Click here to order your book today to join us and make sure you order the LeaRner Guide NOT the LeaDer Guide. Any questions about the study, since she leads groups in her church with this book, please contact Jennifer at jenniekit@gmail.com

This video is so powerful, I hope you take a few minutes to watch it. It's a young man who wrote a song about his mother when she was 17 and almost aborted him. My Dad, who has always been so strongly against abortion loved this video when it first came out. It is also our 8 year old Alivia's favorite video; watch it and you'll see why. I hope you're blessed.

So long Dumbo

2010-06-21T12:05:00.000-05:00

FACT: An elephant calf is around 250 pounds or 115 kgs in weight when born.

I know what you're wondering...how do you know this Lelia?

Well, after many verbalized plans to lose my unwanted weight by my 40th birthday in October, only to daily sabotage my efforts by indulging in a huge bowl of ice cream sin, my 16 year old son Aaron has had enough. And so yesterday, he sweetly informed me that I weigh as much as a baby elephant. Aaron is much like his dad as he retains facts that normal people don't know. So, a little taken aback, I asked how much those things weigh and when he said 250, I argued that I do not weigh that much, which he came back with: "Fine Mom, you're a preemie elephant".

Gene and I were laughing, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized two things:
1.) I don't want to be compared to a baby elephant.
and
2.) How often I show my kids the picture of failure.

Really, I do. I set goals and never accomplish them.
What is that called? Insanity?
You've probably heard the definition of that before: Doing the same thing, expecting different results.

So, how does one get beyond herself and try something different? Something that will work?
Last night I was thinking about it and the one thing that instantly came to my mind is in the book of the Bible known for it's wisdom...

Proverbs 16:3

Commit to the LORD whatever you do,

and your plans will succeed.

So, this morning I woke up and committed my day to the Lord. I asked Him to help me make good choices in my thought life, my usage of words and I also asked Him to guide me through my exercise and eating choices.

I can make all the goals and plans I want to, but bottom line is, if I don't include the Lord, which I haven't up to this point, I will NEVER find success.

Baby elephant...your days are numbered!

Do you have anything in your life that you continuously failed at

UNTIL you gave it the Lord

and through Him you finally found success?

Oh, please share...

Back again to surrender

2010-06-12T18:00:00.006-05:00

It's Saturday morning and when I pull up my computer I get the latest Yahoo news.

One of the stories that caught my eye tells of a 16 year old girl from California

who was rescued at sea last week.

Her parent approved attempt to sail around the world alone non-stop was interrupted by the weather.

Family spokesman, Jeff Casher said her vessel was so badly damaged, her attempt to circle the globe was over. "This is the end of the dream. There's no boat to sail," he said.

Many times in our lives we do things on our own, without God and we fail miserably.

We make choices that can't be undone and we have to live with the consequences of those choices for the rest of our lives.

And often, instead of allowing God to restore us and be the undeniable center in and of our lives, we believe that our vessels are so badly damaged that any attempt to live for God is impossible.

And so our journey of being a woman that says Yes to God is interrupted all because we swallow every bite of lies our enemy spoon feeds us that this is the end and there's no boat to sail.

But what if we stopped believing the smooth talking father of lies and took God at His own Word?

What if we accepted His offer of grace and forgiveness and made Him the Captain of our wrecked lives?

I have taken a break from hosting blog book/Bible studies, but now feel the time is right to do another book.

The book chosen for this next study won't be for all of us.

And honestly, I hope you won't have any reason to join me in this study.

I hope it's one thing we don't ever have in common.

The subject matter is one that if we are against it, it is okay make a sign,stand on the corner and let others know your strong beliefs.

But if you have done it, shame on you and to avoid judgement just keep it quiet and just move on.

The problem I have with keeping it quiet is that how the heck are we supposed let God use us to help others who may be leaning toward making the same choice you did?

Because what if our testimony is what gets them to change their mind and choose life over death?

So July 6th I welcome back YES to GOD Tuesday's

where we meet here every Tuesday to discuss a book

and the next study is...

a book by author and speaker

Pat Layton

Recently, two young ladies I know made a choice.

Miles apart in different states both were pregnant.

One I didn't know of her pregnancy until later, one I knew of right away.

One chooses to end life and now cannot bear the consequences of her choice.

The other one is leaning toward the same choice.

The one who chose to end life messages the other not to do this and shares her story.

The mother of the pregnant young lady tells me, "I am desperate to save this baby".

On behalf of her desperation to save her grandchild, the throne room was flooded with prayers

from all over the country.

Truth of after-horror is shared from women who aborted with the young lady still pregnant.

Hoping something said would change her mind and heart.

And our God.

He was not unmoved.

Not by the young lady who chose to abort and now cries to her Savior

and not by those interceding for the baby still alive.

The pregnant one has made her choice.

She will start off 2011 with changing the diapers of her little one!

And the one left with regret praises God alongside other post-abortion women

all wishing they had made the choice of life.

Please know that I am not telling you to stand up in church on Sunday and say,

"Hello, I am So and So and I had an abortion".

But what I do encourage you to do is allow God to use your choice of regret

to glorify Him instead letting Satan shame you.

Over and over again.

Perhaps joining this study is exactly where God wants His work to begin in you.

The young lady who aborted never knew my story.

But what if she had...would she have shared with me her fears and

by hearing of my regret, not made the same choice that I did?

Here is a description of the book from the author's website:

Many women hide the secret of abortion deep in their hearts, and they are suffering severe consequences. They carry a great burden of shame and failure afraid to reveal their hidden pain, and by doing so are forced to endure the long-lasting effects in isolation. Surrendering the Secret will allow women to release this burden and find freedom through 'redemptive community' while experiencing hope and joy as shame and failure are replaced with beauty.

IT'S TIME TO HEAL THE HEARTBREAK OF ABORTION.

I will not be leading this study alone.

I asked my friend Jennifer, author of the blog Spirit of the Truth to join me because her passion for post abortion women is such a threat to the kingdom of darkness.

She has led many groups through this book in person and at the time of asking her I had no idea of that.

But God knew exactly who we need to help us through this journey.

Learn more about Jennifer here in a very touching blog post called LifeSong.

What I didn't know until after she said "yes", is that she works for the ministry of the author of this book!

Before I e-mailed Jennifer, I had e-mailed Pat asking if she thought this was a book appropriate to do as a blog study or if it had to be done in a group setting in person.

She said it has never been done before on a blog before but that she thought it was a great idea.

We have her blessing and prayers and she is very excited about it.

What I love about a blog study is you can participate from the comfort of your own home.

You can join in and if you have something you want to share except for your identity then you can sign in under "ANONYMOUS" and nobody will have a clue to who you are except your Creator.

If you have any questions regarding a YES to GOD study, on the right side of my blog there is a square button you can push that has all the answer's to FAQ's you can think of.

Unlike the other studies I've hosted there will not be a sign up for this study.

Please think about joining Jennifer and I for study and discussion of one chapter each week of

Pat Layton's book

Surrendering the Secret.

Meet here Tuesday, July 6th and have chapter 1 read and ready to discuss.

Invite anyone to join that you know has been down this road before.

Let your women's ministry at church know.

You do not have to have a blog to join in.

You never have to join the discussion if you don't feel comfortable.

But if this study will help you or someone you know please join us.

And watch the message below from Pat Layton and other post-abortion women.

To order your book, click here so you can join us with

chapter 1 on JULY 6th!

If you need to e-mail me with any questions, you can do so at chealey5@yahoo.com or if you have specific questions regarding the study since she is a leader and is familiar with it, please contact Jennifer at jenniekitt@mac.com

So tough and yet so wimpy

2010-05-29T12:48:00.019-05:00

This morning I decided to sit outside under the umbrella on the patio to do my devotions and do some writing. It's so beautiful out here. I love the sounds that accompany sunny Saturday mornings as Spring gets ready to jump into Summer. Dogs barking, birds singing, kids playing and leaves in the trees above me dancing to the rhythm of the gentle wind. Wish every morning could start off this peaceful.

Then my peace was interrupted.
Our son Aaron has a big dog named Kane. He is the coolest dog and so loving to those he knows.
To strangers walking their dogs though, he can come across as the bully of the block.
If anyone dares to walk by our house, he is quick to the fence to let them know that they are in his hood and they best get to steppin' before he jumps the fence and devours their family pet. Since he doesn't know how to jump the fence though, Kane's choice of intimidation is his bark.
It is loud, deep and demands respect.
By the way families hurry to get out of his sight, I would say he gets what he wants.

But this morning I saw a different side of Kane as he was far from the big mean dog that he portrays himself to be.
It all started when a blue jay landed on his food bowl, plucking out a piece of dog food and flying away.

"Hey!", I yelled at the bird while looking down at my boy laying next to my chair, who did absolutely nothing but continue to lay next to my chair.

I started reading again when suddenly two black birds with beady, piercing blue eyes landed on the gutter of the house and leaned toward Kane and screeched at him.

Once again I looked down at Kane, but this time, all I saw was tail as he was cowering under my chair.

Surprised and disappointed in him, I got up and put his bowl in the garage hoping they'd go away and also because Purina is too expensive to be used to feed mean things with feathers.

Apparently, this made the birds more mad and instead of leaving like I had hoped, they kept repeating their behavior. Which then made me mad because the more they cawed at Kane, the more he cowered. I tried giving him a pep talk, but he looked at me as if to say, just put me in the garage with my food, Woman.
The birds kept doing this and it started to freak me out, so I grabbed the nearest thing to me...if you are a lover of black birds with beady, piercing blue eyes...don't read this next part.
I threw a basketball, okay, two basketballs and a rock at them. Unfortunately, they saw the large objects coming and they flew away unharmed. I think I only contributed to their already angry selves because then they started to land on the privacy fence right next to the edge of the umbrella and aimed their demands directly at me which allowed Kane to relax a little. They are really scary that close and for a split second I almost joined Kane under the chair.

Then it dawned on me, from watching Kane's behavior, that this is not the first time this has happened.
These birds keep doing this because they can.
Instead of Kane standing his ground and tapping into the power within him and using his bark to scare them off, he just hides. All while they fly their little one pound selves down into his yard, land on his bowl and eat his food.
They just come in and take what is not theirs and he just lets them.

Determined to not go inside until I was ready to, I remained under the umbrella, but kept a watchful eye for the twin birds because I'm pretty sure they had starring roles in this movie. And that's when I realized that this is a picture of our enemy.

Satan will bully the heck out of us. He will swoop into our lives and take what does not belong to him because he can. The attacks from him are inevitable. They are going to happen, but our response to the attack is what gives God the permission to swoop in and mark His territory of our heart. Just like Kane's bark makes a dog run away with his family in tow, when we speak Scripture over our enemy, he runs. And when we let the father of lies know that our hearts belong to our Father in heaven, that is when Jesus is quick to the gate of our heart and lets our enemy know that he is not going to come take what is not his.

There are times when I feel defeated but when I choose to call on the Name of Jesus, I find that there is a big bark behind that Name ladies...say it and watch your enemy cower. He cowers and eventually flees because he knows Who God is and he knows he can't take on something so big and mighty.

I'm still under my umbrella and the birds are picking on someone else for the time being.
Kane has resurfaced to the fence and once again is letting the innocent walkers know through his loud barks that you do not come down this street again without an invitation.
If they only knew that if they walked their pet parakeet, he'd be putty in their hands.
So glad the privacy fence decorated with bird poop keeps the walkers from seeing me.

He has me

2010-05-26T10:32:00.007-05:00

Last night I took our son Aaron over to his friend John's house to complete a project they've been working on for English class. Our families are like family to each other and so I always love going over there. John's Mom, Charlene and I were in the living room talking while the boys were working/laughing for 3 hours on their project Aaron said would take 5 minutes.

She asked me how I was doing and I told her about the letter we received in the mail last week. The one to Gene from the lovely disability benefits company saying we owe them over forty-five hundred dollars. The secretary was even nice enough to bold the numbers with a comma assuring our attention.

Forget the fact that Gene has lost his job due to three 6 plus hour surgeries forever fusing not only nuts and bolts, but pain into his body. Forget the fact that he can't stand long or even sit through a whole church service. Or has trouble lifting more than our grand babies weigh. The surgeon released Gene to return to work because "it is my standard procedure for all patients 3 months post-op", not taking into consideration this patient has to have a toddler close to the ground help him put his shoes on or that he is unable to perform any of the duties at his job prior to April 2008 when this all began. Forget the fact that his work couldn't/didn't hold his position and he has no job to return to.

But last week after reading that letter from the disability people who have their jobs to go to everyday and who gets a paycheck every payday, I couldn't forget it because their kind letter informed us that the June check, the one to pay our mortgage, wouldn't be mailed to us. This letter came the day after Gene had gone on a job interview and had that knowing feeling he didn't get the job before he was even back in his truck. He was so down, which if you knew my husband, until all this back stuff started didn't have the word "depression" in his vocabulary. But as he told me the night before the letter arrived, "I just want to provide for my family and honey, I feel less than a man right now". And as if to confirm his lack of being able to bring home even a strip of bacon, the letter arrived.

So as I'm standing in the kitchen with this letter of doom in my hand, my heart is aching for my husband sitting at our kitchen table and my mind is trying to mentally go through our check book. And as I'm taking the grocery money and putting it toward mortgage, in my mind, I said, "Lord, we can't even feed our kids next week".

That's when God stepped into my heart and let me know, the disability people Lelia...NOT your provider.
My cell phone rang and I answered.

When Alivia was just 5 years old she started participating in what is called the "Pre-school Problem Solving Study". We had received some information from her school and it sounded interesting so when she was in kindergarten we began the adventure of going down to the university for a few hours twice a year for them to observe her doing different testing always in a game format. She loves it. Once in the spring and once in the fall we go down there as she plays games and I sit in the waiting room filling out enough paper work to wipe out a forest.

But this call to set up this year's spring testing was different.
It came during the attempted entrance of fear into my heart as I stood staring into the empty fridge worried about my kids. "But!" the chipper college girl on the other end of the line said in her voice that revealed no worries of how she was going to feed the hungry, "We have to do the study in 2 days this time instead of just one. Can you come in on Tuesday and Wednesday of next week?"
"Yes", I said, with tears in my eyes, "We'll be there".

So yesterday, Alivia and I went to the study and today we go back. And as we drove to the University I explained to her how God was using her and how way back in the day when she was young, He set this up because "for such a time as this" He knew we would need this study in our lives. "Cool!" was her response with such a beautiful smile splashed across her soft brown cheeks.

See, every time we go in, after the testing is complete, the college girl lets Alivia pick out a prize of her choice and hands me a gift card to Wal-Mart. Usually it's fifty bucks. This time though, for such a time as letting one worried Mom know Who her One and Only Provider is...it's one hundred dollars .

$100.00 of grocery money at Wal-Mart.
Thank You Jesus is all I could barely whisper as I closed my refrigerator door and put the letter on the counter. I felt as if He were giving me the tightest bear hug ever. In my kitchen in the middle of Lincoln, Nebraska.
Thank You Jesus.

As I'm sharing this with Charlene last night, the tears came down her beautiful face. As we held hands, I said, "In the world's eyes, neither one of our families or marriages should have survived what we both have gone through over these last 2 years. I know though if I didn't have Jesus, our marriage wouldn't have survived any of this". She nodded in agreement, but what she said to me next about God was a statement that forced my tired self to lie wide awake in the dark last night next to my unemployed, somewhat disabled husband in complete peace.

"It's a good thing that He has us.

We don't have Him, HE has us.

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.

John 15:16(NIV)

He has me.
Today. Tomorrow. Tonight.
As long as I let Him, He has me.
No matter what, I want to let Him.
I need Him and desire Him.
Not because He gave me a Wal-Mart gift card, but because I've done life without Him and I don't want to go back to that. Ever again.
Does He need me? Not at all, but He has me.

He has me and I pray He has you too.
And the fact that never wavers that I cannot forget is that God...
He is bigger than all of this earthly mess. And so worth any part of being uncomfortable, unemployed but never unloved or unnoticed.

This morning I read Lysa T's blog post titled Because He asks me to that put my husband and I both in tears. You have to read it, you just have to.
Click here and go...

If she only knew me...

2010-05-22T14:40:00.012-05:00

Have you ever found yourself surrounded by a bunch of Jesus-lovin' women and think that every woman but you is just a sinless creation that God loves way more than He ever could you?

Or gone on a girlfriend get away with a replica of the woman described in Proverbs 31 in every way possible, down to planting vineyards from her earnings? And you return home feeling less of a woman because you can't even sew a button back on a blouse.

Have you gone to a women's conference and been sitting amongst your group of sisters in Christ and while listening to their clean cut testimonies you soon find yourself comparing your life to your friends? And on the outside you remain smiling, but on the inside, you're cringing and thinking, "If she only knew who I really was..."? And the sad part is, that it's not even the impression she is trying to make on you, but her strengths crush your weaknesses.

In the eyes of the world we are told through magazine covers what we're supposed to wear, weigh and want in life. We're bombarded with the worlds view of perfection and if we buy into it, we will be left feeling like a failure.

But some of us can pull off the perfect Christian girl look.
We can look like we have it all together, but behind the walls of our heart we are just a mess.
A mess that only Jesus can handle all the details of.

We can look like this to others around us...

But on the inside, we can feel like this...

This is Alivia's doll that Aaron's dog Kane got a hold of recently.

Before Kane found Barbie, she was perfect.

But after a little time alone with her, even her plastic little self couldn't stop this canine from destroying everything Ken loves about her.

Soon, she was left with no feet, hands and on the left side of her body, not even an arm.

She has chunks of her face taken out and bite marks on the side of her thighs.

In real life, if we let him, Satan will do the same thing with us.

He will take bites out of our self esteem, demolish our hope and chew up the belief that we can ever be usable by such a great God.

The thought life of God and Satan when it comes to us, is so different.

The thoughts of feeling less when compared to your sister in Christ is not coming from the Lord. Satan loves messing with us and will do so on every level possible.

To know how God thinks of us, it's so important to be in His Word daily.

We should be in His Word so deeply, that when Satan does try to take a bite out of us, he tastes nothing but Jesus!

Jesus wants to use our past for His glory.

So many of us believe or have believed He can't or won't; that our lives are too much of a mess for Him to clean up, but He tells us different.
He can use anyone and if willing, He will.

Nothing in our past or our present is unusable to God.

So today, if you compare yourself with others...don't.

Not today.

Truth of it is, she's probably thinking, "if she only knew me".

Allow God to use you right where you are and don't worry about what you look like to others.

Two of my favorite authors and women of God are

Lysa TerKeurst and Lisa Whittle.

Both have written life changing books.

Lysa's book, Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl

can be found here.

And Lisa's book, Behind Those Eyes

can be found here.

Both women to the naked eye, have it all together, but they will be the first to knock themselves off of any pedestal of perfection anyone tries perching them upon.

They are real women that love Jesus, who don't try to portray anything but Jesus in their lives.

If you have never visited them before, do so...you will be blessed.

On the right side of my blog, scroll down and you can see that we have done their books on the Yes to God studies before.

So, if you're looking for a great read to kick off your summer, one that will leave you closer to God when you finish the book, then grab one of these ladies books.

Have a great day and allow Jesus to shine through you and you're outside will be more beautiful than you can ever imagine.

A beauty so contagious that sooner than later, Mattell will just have to come out with a

Jesus-lovin' Barbie.

Does Victoria's Secret even have stuff that lasts for 11 years?

2010-05-17T09:47:00.008-05:00

"I remember those," Gene said while pointing to the white lacy underwear I was wearing. After giving me a sexy smile and even a wink, he said,

"Those are from our wedding night".

After staring at his confident self for about 30 seconds, I responded with,

"We got married in '99 Gene, it's now 2010! Who wears underwear for ELEVEN years???? "

Okay.

First I must say, if you wear your panties for 11 years, please don't tell me, it may just alter my thoughts of you.

Secondly, even though there is a 64 pound difference between wedding wife and his 2010 bride, he still thinks I can fit into wedding wife's panties.

Little does he know that back in the day, his new bride wore gorgeous, white lacy panties brought to her out of a drawer by an attendant at Victoria's Secret.

While his 2010 bride had on white underwear she found at Wal-Mart hanging on a plastic hanger next to the Hanes plus size undies that come 10 in a package and these only have lace on the front to hide the fact that they're tummy controller underwear.

Bless his heart though; I may just have to keep this pair until 2021.

Third, the fact he wasn't bothered that I'd be wearing the same underwear for over a decade made me go through his personal drawer and make sure everything he wears has been purchased within the calendar year. It's all good.

Okay, had a fun drawing for some jewelry handmade by a woman named Patti in Mexico. If you have no idea what I'm talking about and would like to read a really cool story of how God introduced Nancy to Patti in a park through a flower Pattie made from wire in her mouth...and how He has provided for Patti's family in a unique way, then click HERE to read this awesome "to God be the glory" story.

So, time to meet the winners.

At first I asked Amiyah to draw 2 names out of Gene's Dallas Cowboys hat, but only because I had forgotten that her cooperation level isn't high in the morning. I was quickly reminded though when she grabbed all the names and wouldn't give them back to me. Gene finally convinced her to drop the pieces of paper clutched in her little hand back into the hat and he drew the names for me.

The woman who will be wearing red from her earlobes and around her neck is...

E'Lise!

And the woman who will have a unique flower necklace to wear, is...

Brenda!

I'm sorry that you don't get Amiyah along with the necklace as promised in the previous post, but once I found out how much shipping and handling was, I waited until she fell asleep and carefully removed your necklace.

And E'Lise since you said in your comment for the drawing you'd take Alivia, she'll be ready for you when you get off work!

Please e-mail me your name & address to chealey5@yahoo.com and I will get these mailed out to you ladies over the weekend.

Since "someone" is throwing a toddler tantrum as I type, I don't care anymore about the price of shipping costs, she's outta here. Not sure to where though...perhaps to Sharon (His Princess) in Australia...so if you find a package on your doorstep that weighs 25 pounds, open it quickly...she'll be hungry!

Thank you to Nancy who has blessed not only Patti and her family in Mexico,

but us too by saying

yes to God!

A Spring-Bling GIVEAWAY you don't want to miss!

2010-05-13T10:24:00.016-05:00

Last month my friend Michelle invited me to go to a jewelry party with her. I usually don't do stuff like that, but when I heard the story behind this unique, beautiful hand-made jewelry and the intentions of the party, I just had to go.

So Alivia went along with us and we had so much fun. I bought these cute earrings

and Alivia picked out these adorable turquoise danglies. My camera on my phone really does not show how cute these are, but trust me, they are super cute.

The party was in a home about 30 minutes from Lincoln and after making our selections we headed back to our home during the 5 o'clock rush hour. We got off the exit ramp and were the first ones in line waiting at the light to turn onto a very busy street. Just so happened Michelle's transmission went out. She called the tow truck and her hubby Mike and we waited. And while we waited Alivia and I admired our new jewelry. Alivia even modeled hers for me. Did you know that only mean people drive at five and take it personal that your vehicle broke down in front of them? And they are extra mean if they don't notice your hazard lights flashing.But even the mean scowls adults gave us and a teenage girl on the verge of flipping us off could not steal our jewelry joy.

Well, a last week I tricked Aaron into going with me to another one of their open house parties. He reluctantly went inside with me after I fessed up and told him that jewelry heaven was just beyond the front doors of this home. Luckily he left his teenage attitude in the car and even helped me pick out some jewelry to send to some girlfriends.

As I was checking out, I grabbed a pair of really cute cross earrings for Alivia hoping it would soften the blow when she realized Aaron accompanied me to a jewelry party instead of her. That's when Nancy, the head of the jewelry business, gave me a really cute purse!
And then that's when I received the ultimate compliment.
The ladies helping Nancy pack up all the jewelry thought Aaron was "my friend".
Did you read that correctly?? Not my 15 year old son, but my friend.
I'm pretty sure Aaron threw up inside his mouth, but I was beaming that I look youthful enough to have a teenage boyfriend. A cougar, I believe is what the world labels older women who have young eye candy, but call me what you want, I look like I'm at least in my twenties!

With compliments engraved forever in my youthful heart, I should've been thumbing through the yellow pages in search of a good therapist for Aaron, but instead I was checking my e-mail.
That's when I read this from Nancy...
Lelia~Your not going to believe this but I was just thinking about you. I got home and in my jewelry room I am going to be cleaning out things that have been here for a few months, I thought I could send them to you for your friends if you want them. I just need your address (I don't care if you keep any of it!) We are just getting ready to move and would like a good home for the stuff I have had around for a bit! Good night and thanks so much for coming and your son is a keeper for sure!
NANCY

And then yesterday I received a box full of blessings from her. Minus the toaster and bread....

Here's a closer look...
So what's a girl to do, but share these blessings, right? So, I asked my assistant, a.k.a., Amiyah, our 2 year old granddaughter for some help modeling the jewelry I am giving away today on behalf of sweet Nancy.

Okay, so when I asked her to show me the necklace, this is what I got.

So if you win this necklace, this is what the people sitting

behind you in church will see.

If you wear your hair up.

After a few minutes of explaining to her what I expected when I hired her,

I begged her again to show me the necklace.

Then I became like Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire and instead of screaming

"Show me the Money!" I was yelling at my toddler granddaughter/model

"Show me the NECKLACE!!!"

And finally Little Girl came through...

And after many blurry pictures and telling her if she swayed again she would get no lunch, I snapped this close up...

But I'm not only giving away one piece, I'm giving away another one.

The model above wouldn't let me remove the necklace up for grabs, so if you win, you will have to come to Lincoln and get it off her yourself.

Good. Luck.

Seriously.

After the struggle of the first photo session, I fired the model.

To showcase the next set, I thought briefly about going and pulling Alivia out of school, but knew Gene wouldn't approve, so I placed the set on top of my computer and snapped away...

That's when the unemployed model noticed I was taking pictures of objects on my laptop and ran and plopped these next to the necklace.

Unfortunately, the shoes are not part of the giveaway,

SHE IS

but the cute two-toned pink shoes with a flower and bling are not.

So, here is what you need to do in order to have your name in the drawing.

There will be 2 winners.

YOU DO NOT NEED TO HAVE A BLOG TO ENTER.

First, you have to go read the cool story behind the jewelry.

The jewelry that makes you oblivious to Nine to Fivers cussing you out while sitting in rush hour traffic in a broken down PT Cruiser.

Then come back here and leave a comment AFTER you read the story behind the jewelry called

I promise, you'll be blessed by Nancy & Patti's story;

both women who definitely know how to say

"yes to God".

When you get back, leave a comment telling me your thoughts and also,

which piece of jewelry you would want a chance at winning:

the flower or the red.

But keep in mind, the high maintenance Little Girl comes along with the flower necklace.

They're a set.

The red comes with earrings, the flower comes with Amiyah.

Did I mention that all giveaways on this blog have a strict No Return policy?

As of 5/13/10, they do.

The winners will be announced Monday morning, May 17th!

Spread the word to all your girlfriends...if not about the giveaway, at least the story.

Also, check out the recent post on the ana patricia blog as they are part of the

Ultimate Blog Party.

Yet another chance to win a beautiful, handmade necklace.

And if you don't like jewelry, try winning it as a gift for someone who does.

CLICK HERE FIRST TO READ THE STORY BEHIND THE BEAUTIFUL

ANA PATRICIA JEWELRY.

Oh, and did I tell you have 4 chances to win????

Here's how...

1.) Leave a comment here after reading their short story.

IF YOU DON'T HAVE A BLOG~Leave your comment by clicking on the "Anonymous" button.

2.) If you have a blog, sign up as a follower for Nancy's blog

3.) If you are on Facebook, then follow ana patricia jewelry on FB,which you can find on Nancy's blog.

4.) Put a link to this post on your Facebook inviting others to join the giveaway which of course, leads them to the ana patricia blog.

Just let me know in your comment here all you did above and that is how many times your name will go in the drawing.

Blessings,

WHY? Just wondering Lord, that's all.

2010-05-09T19:37:00.014-05:00

The other day I was just thinking through stuff and found myself pretty frustrated.

I asked God a lot of "whys".

In the sermon today, pastor Bruce talked about storms based on Matthew 8:23-27.

He reminded us that in this walk with Jesus, storms are going to come.

He made two points:

*Storms are a natural part of our journey.

*Storms can cause panic.

We see that in this passage in Matthew with the disciples starting with verse 24.

Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat.

But Jesus was sleeping.

The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!"

Can you even imagine what it was like in that boat?

Yes, we can.

~Last May when Candice lost her young daughter Charity to cancer, she was in that boat.

~Last December when Mel lost her twelve year old son Andrew to brain cancer she was in that boat.

~Or recently as my friend E'Lise shed tears over her little sister as she watches her fight another battle against her body with cancer.

~Or when my sister in law Gwen who after her husband Sam had a stroke that left him disabled, was forced to put her husband in a nursing home, long before they are even retirement age so she could still work.

~Or Lisa, wife and mom just starting radiation to fight her cancer. (Her picture is on my sidebar)

~Or my friend Alethea, single mom and sole supporter of her 2 boys who lost her secure job.

There are women all over the place enduring some furious storms.

I loved how Pastor Bruce said it today..."Um, excuse me, I did not sign up for this. I signed up for two things...sins are forgiven and heaven is my home".

We do not want our boats to rock.

We want to listen to our Christian music channels and go to church each weekend and shout out a few Amen's during the sermon, but do not rock the boat.

But the truth is, the boat is going to rock.

We are going to find ourselves in a storm.

Storms that are furious with waves crashing over us like the disciples experienced.

There will be storms.

So going back up to the verse above, did you notice the middle part...

But Jesus was sleeping.

I love how the Message Bible puts it:

Then he got in the boat, his disciples with him.

The next thing they knew, they were in a severe storm.

Waves were crashing into the boat—

and he was sound asleep!

They roused him, pleading, "Master, save us! We're going down!"

Do you ever feel like that?

You're freaking out, JESUS! SAVE ME...I'M GOING DOWN!

Or pleading on behalf of your loved one dying...JESUS!!!! PLEASE!!

And nothing. No response at all.

Could He possibly be sleeping right through the storm of your life?

What the heck??

Ever ask "why" like I did last week?

Our storms are going to come.

How will we respond when we think Jesus has forgotten all about us?

When we think the Captain of our boat is asleep?

In the sermon the pastor also reminded us that Jesus will never leave us nor forsake us.

Never.

Last week on my way home from my day job, God gave me the answer to my "why" questions.

While driving down South Street, I looked up to see this billboard for dairy products...

TRUST IN THE NAME

Today, in the storm our family is in...I will trust in the Name of Jesus.

Whatever storm you are facing, whether it's one that can tear your boat to shreds or a small one, you choose to just

Trust In The Name.

Trust, even when it feels like Jesus is sleeping, because just like He did with the disciples,

He will bring calm.

I love this song, but if you can't listen to it, just mute it and read the lyrics that are typed out.

My favorite line is:

He has a reason for each trial

that we pass through in life

And though we're shaken

we cannot be pulled apart from Christ.

TRUST IN THE NAME

The powerful Name of Jesus.

Another incredible song about praising God in the storms is by Casting Crowns...

Praise You in This Storm .

Locked Out

2010-05-06T13:24:00.003-05:00

Do you ever feel like you are just walking through this life on auto-pilot?
Like life has just gotten the best of you and you are so ready for the rapture to happen?

Sometimes I just go through the motions and on the outside look like the total Christian package, but on the inside Satan is sitting on the throne of my heart.
No, I have not converted to devil worship, but sometimes I just feel like I am so far from God that I am the poster child for Prodigals.

I am great at asking for people to pray for me...stand in my gap, intercede on my behalf, but sometimes I rely on the prayers of others instead of approaching the throne of grace and cry out to God myself.
I can send you some scripture reference to fit whatever need you have or give you hope for the crisis your heart may feel, but sometimes in my most desperate times my Bible never gets opened.

This morning my sister was at my parents home and was leaving to go to her house.
My parents provide foster care and have five kids under the age of 11 so she's been watching their kids and transporting the three oldest ones back and forth to school everyday.
On their front door they have a lock box with a code that holds a key to their house.
This morning, after taking the kids to school, she walked outside followed by the two toddlers.
She punched in the code to the lock box, removed the key, locked the front door, put the key back in the box and punched in the code again to lock it.
She then shut the screen door and as the three of them were walking to my Mom's SUV, she realized the keys to the truck were on the kitchen counter.
So she pulled out her cell phone and called our Dad and explained her situation to him asking him to come use his key to let her in the house.
He gently reminded her of the lock box.
The lock box she knows the code to that holds the key to let herself back in the house.

Michelle was just going through the motions, not thinking about stuff, just doing it.
She realized without the truck keys, she wasn't able to continue on her journey.
But instead of going to the lock box and obtaining the very thing that would get her moving, she called on someone else.

Oh, don't we do that with our Savior?

My neighbors niece Tiffany once said, "We need to run to the throne instead of the phone".
Or e-mail or text or arrange an emergency Starbucks girlfriend time.
So that means we just go to Jesus and not ever ask anyone to pray for us?
Nope, not what I meant at all.
We need to go to JESUS first then reach out and ask for prayer.

Hebrews 4:16

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence,

that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

We need to run to Him with all our needs, big and small, with our confidence put in Him and what He is capable of doing in our lives, for He is the only One that holds the key to our hearts.
He is the One that has the answer for our unanswered questions.
He is the One that we need to turn to in hope of rescuing us.
And He is the One that will take us by the hand on the journey of a lifetime when we feel like we can't go on.

Oh Lord, I promise one day I'll get this!
Just keep baring with me for I love You so much!

What's Oozing From Your Heart Today?

2010-05-04T07:32:00.009-05:00

Last night I picked up Alivia our 8 year old from gymnastics class and when she got in the car I asked her how the class had went.
Putting her head back and having a look of complete exhaustion on her beautiful face she said,

"Oh Mom, they worked us like cows."

Huh?

"Ummm...Liv, cows?"

Slapping her forehead and giggling she said,
"OH!
I meant horses!"

Just never a dull moment with Miss Alivia in our lives!
*****

So the oil spill is all over the news. So very sad.
Here is part of a timeline of the spill listed in an Internet article I read this morning:

April 27 -The Coast Guard said the leaking crude may be set ablaze to slow the spread of oil in the Gulf.

April 28 - The Coast Guard says the flow of oil is 5,000 bpd, five times greater than first estimated. Controlled burns begin on giant oil slick, but shifting winds are expected to push crude ashore.

May 1 - The Coast Guard says the leak will affect the Gulf shore.

May 4 - U.S. Coast Guard officials say the magnitude of the oil spill is astronomical; to give you an idea, 210,000 gallons of oil is oozing into the Gulf of Mexico a day, that's 5,000 barrels of oil per day.

*******************

If I gave you a timeline of things that have been going on in our lives, one would think I would have some callouses on my knees from continuous prayer over my 2 oldest children. Without trying to sound like I'm trying to invite you to a pity-party, I just have to say this one thing: our enemy is VERY real.

He is not out to just make our sweet little Christian life uncomfortable.

NO! Satan is out to kill, steal and destroy.

He wants to work your faith like a horse, or in Liv's case, a cow.

In talking with my girlfriend Charlene last night we agreed that sin is just like the Gulf Coast oil spill. How the choices we make are like a continuous leak that affect so many people.

See, that oil spill isn't just a little mess in the ocean.

That oil spill is not only affecting the water it took over, but many other things and people too.

From bank accounts to birds to beaches, the aftermath of this oil spill is massive. It not only touches the company responsible, it takes it's toll on many other lives as well. Finances, fishing and fun on the beach have changed because of this spill. Wide spread disaster all coming from one source.

Are the choices you make today godly ones that give honor and glory to Jesus?

Or are the daily choices you make much like the oil spill on the Gulf Coast and covering not only you, but those in your life with your junk?

The cross was covered with our precious Savior's blood, not black slimy oil and the difference is, when covered with the blood of Jesus, our sins become white as snow.

When covered with our junk, we look much like this poor bird. Unfortunately, I think alot of times I look like the bird and the ridiculous part is that it's because of my choices.

Today, let's choose Jesus and see what the effects of having Him at the center of our lives is like; for the Living Water is the kind of continuous leak we want and need oozing from our hearts.

May we allow Jesus Christ to be so astronomical in our lives that people who don't know

Him want Him.

Please take a minute to read my friend Yolanda's blog post called "I will return after getting the manual" and see what God showed her through a broken dishwasher.

I never want to assume that you have Jesus Christ in your life as your Savior.
If you don't, click HERE to learn more about the most Amazing Gift.
He is a choice you won't ever regret.

WRITE FROM THE HEART

I must have Jesus in my whole life

I'm MOVING!

Just Ask

Like Charlie Sheen says...WINNING!

Legacy...What kind will be left?

Come follow Me, He said.

Finally some wisdom sets in

Two Miles

No connection at this time

My Dad, Acey used to be on Facebook. Until he got annoyed with all the posts that notified him every time someone made a move or drove through a Starbucks. Still thinking he was MIA on FB, imagine my shock when I saw this on my sister Michelle's Facebook page...Acey JaneI love ya, kid, Dad

Missing out...for nothing

Me...write a book and speak? Are you crazy????

My new Un-comfort level

You are seen

I believe

Get off the roof top

I don't want more of God anymore

She Speaks contest winner...to be or not to be?

God's Word: Living and Active!

Time to use your get out of jail free card

Satan's Most Wanted list

New Yes to God blog study: MADE TO CRAVE by Lysa TerKeurst

What message is your life portraying?

Jesus is the Hero

No more being fake!

3 women/3 cancers/ONE JESUS

Shhhh....It's a Secret, I mean, IT'S NO SECRET!

YES to GOD Study: Surrendering the Secret/Week 5

YES to GOD Study: Surrendering the Secret/Week 4

YES to GOD Study: Surrendering the Secret/Week 2 & 3

YES to GOD Study: Surrendering the Secret/Week 1

YES to GOD Study: Surrendering the Secret Intro's

Get your butt in time out

Walking down the aisle

So long Dumbo

Back again to surrender

So tough and yet so wimpy

He has me

If she only knew me...

Does Victoria's Secret even have stuff that lasts for 11 years?

A Spring-Bling GIVEAWAY you don't want to miss!

WHY? Just wondering Lord, that's all.

Locked Out

What's Oozing From Your Heart Today?

My Dad, Acey used to be on Facebook.
Until he got annoyed with all the posts that notified him every time someone made a move or drove through a Starbucks.

Still thinking he was MIA on FB, imagine my shock when I saw this on my sister Michelle's Facebook page...

Acey Jane
I love ya, kid, Dad