Last week for 3 nights our son Aaron went through high school basketball try-outs. So much different than the Jr. high ball he was used to playing. I'll never forget at the beginning of the school year when he came home and said, "Mom! I just found out that there will be basketball practice every day!" Welcome to the land of no recess and no more optional basketball practices followed by a Saturday morning game with donuts served.
Wednesday night, the final night of try-outs my teenagers decided jointly to let me believe that Aaron got cut from the team. When they saw the tears glistening in my eyes is when one would think they would 'fess up and tell me the truth. No, not my twisted teens, they let it drag out until finally Aaron told me that he made it. After punching him in the arm, I congratulated him then drove him to youth group. When we got there we sat in the car talking while Aaron finished his dinner. That's when he told me that he is going to tell his basketball coach that on Wednesday's he will need to leave practice early so that he can go to youth group.
I strongly profess Jesus in my life on my blog, so any reader would think that this Mom would burst out into uncontrollable praise that her son is choosing to make Jesus his priority.
But sadly, I didn't.
Instead, a fear rose up in my chest and I tried talking him out of it.
"You can't do that Aaron. You can't just tell your coaches what you're going to do. You have a commitment to this team and you need to keep it."
Away from the comfort of a keyboard this Mom was clearly not choosing to walk her talk.
His response to my prediction of him sitting for taking a stand was "Oh well".
Was I really saying this? Here my son has made some major changes in his life toward the One who died on the Cross. Changes I've been praying for and here was his "godly" Mother telling him that he can't be different.
He can't take a stand for Jesus. Not at a public school. These men won't understand and he'll be benched during a game for missing part of practice.
As I type this I want to erase it all and just share with you the joy of him earning a spot on the team, but a few weeks ago I shared the same message about Alivia keeping Jesus quiet.
Driving off from leaving him at youth group I had to ask myself...what do I really believe?
Do I want Jesus as my #1 priority or do I just want Him when I feel He will fit into my lifestyle?
Do I want my kids to see me seeking God, or just hear me talk about it?
Reading this ugly reality about myself really bothers me.
Needless to say I was strongly convicted of what I had just encouraged my son not to do that I could hardly wait for him to get in the car when I picked him up. I apologized and told him that he has my full support and that I will be praying for him. I told him that God will bless him beyond what he can handle and to go for it. "Thanks, Mom".
I think my quick conviction had a lot to do with coming off an incredible study we just finished here recently of Lisa Whittle's book, "Behind Those Eyes". I had just spent 9 weeks learning how to be an authentic woman of God and here I was trying to squash my son's suggestion to step out in a public school and take a stand for Christ. The fire in his heart to put Jesus first above his passion of basketball put out by who else but his own Mom.
So I have asked God to bless this sweet son of mine.
I will learn from a 14 year old trying to draw near to the God.
I will take God at His Word that all things are possible with Him.
I have no doubt that God will honor Aaron for this.
If Aaron has to "ride the pine" as my husband Gene calls sitting on the bench instead of playing on the court because he misses some of Wednesday's practice, may God be glorified.
Lord, may You be glorified with this child's life.
You have instilled the gift of leadership in him.
May a curiosity rise up in his unsaved friends to find out what life is like after kneeling at the foot of the Cross from watching Aaron's example.
You are worth all of this Lord. You are.
Please help me to live out what I know and be an encouragment to my kids desire for You.
May I stop saying I want to live for you and just do it.